Dear readers, there is a certain type of soap character that drives me mad: the schemer who never gets caught. Oh, how I hate her. It doesn't matter what her name is, really, but I'll use Lisa Niles as an example. Lisa was doing evil things to Robin for months, and no one believed Robin because Lisa could switch into innocent mode without skipping a beat. Before Lisa, it was Heather Webber; she started out as your garden-variety schemer before she went completely stark raving mad. My Mama used to get so mad about Heather. "How could she get out of the mental hospital again?" On The Young and the Restless, it was Sheila Carter. On The Bold and the Beautiful, it was Quinn. Every soap has one. General Hospital has Nelle.
Nelle has decided that Michael will never reunite with her romantically unless she gets his mom, Carly, out of the way. So, what is her plan? She will apologize to Carly for her wrongdoing and try to make peace with her. I'm just kidding. She's going to try to drive Carly mad by making her think her dead son is alive and contacting her from the grave. Nelle has a replica of his scarf, tattered and bloody. To her bag of tricks, she added his cologne. If anyone can explain to me why Ava still had Morgan's cologne in her medicine chest and decided to box it up and donate two-year-old cologne from her dead lover to charity, please explain it to me.
Nelle purchased a home security system, which is apparently the perfect tool to fake haunt someone with, by being able to control lights and doorbells remotely. I guess since the lights were out, Carly didn't see that giant plug-in unit in the wall.
What is Nelle's endgame? Carly goes mad and ends up in Shadybrook? I'm not really sure what Nelle hopes to achieve here.
Readers, I must raise the same questions I did in my last column… Sonny used to have security everywhere. Carly wasn't able to walk to the mailbox without Max and Milo tagging along. In the age of technology, doesn't it seem like there would be security cameras on Carly' giant mansion? Every person in my neighborhood has a security camera, not the fancy ones, just the cable company setup. So, the average Joe in my neighborhood watching his schnauzer pee on his sofa while he's at work has a better security system than mob boss Sonny and his doll Carly. I can't believe the Metro Court hotel, the hospital, and Carly and Sonny's houses aren't covered by any security. Here's hoping Carly's good friend Jason says to her, "You should get a security system." Then, they can watch Nelle dressed like every cat burglar from a 60s movie sneaking into Carly's house.
The best part of this storyline this week was the beautiful scene where Carly was asking Bobbie how long it took her to recover from B.J.'s death and if she'd ever thought she'd seen or heard B.J. after she was gone. Bobbie said you never fully recover; she still misses her beautiful daughter. She told Carly of times she swore she heard B.J.'s footsteps or giggle and then -- poof! Nothing. Carly went to her house and heard footsteps because, as I keep mentioning, a lunatic is in her house because she has no home security.
This is a big issue all over town. If General Hospital had security, it seems the guy wanted for trying to bury two men alive in wet cement would have been spotted before he stole a lab coat and posed as a doctor. It's not like no one at GH knew about this -- there was a manhunt, and everyone was talking about it.
I don't understand what Jim's reason was for trying to sneak into the hospital. Did he want to kill Betsy? Did he want to kill Franco? Even if he shut both of them up about the evil things he did to "little Bobby," he would still be wanted for trying to kill Drew and for causing a damn earthquake.
Now Franco and Jim are gone, and we don't know who got the drop on whom -- which man left holding the gun? Since Franco said to Dr. Collins, "I am going to kill Jim Harvey," it most likely means Jim will end up dead, and Franco will end up in jail. If he does, and if we find out Jim molested and terrorized Franco, will a jury find Franco justified? Will it be seen as self-defense, since Jim tried to abduct Liz and Jake? It's going to be a juicy tale, my friends, and I'm looking forward to seeing it unfold.
I really enjoyed the hypnosis scenes this week. Both Jon Lindstrom and Roger Howarth were fully engaged and giving it their all, which made me fully engaged, too. Good work, gentlemen.
The one side plot here that makes me happy is that Drew, who previously hated Franco, now hates him less and is starting to understand him. If this storyline ends up with Drew and Franco as friends, I will be delighted.
Now that Sam has left Drew to go and find herself, Drew could use some friends. It's hard for him to consider losing the woman he loves, but there is another woman who loves him, even if she won't admit it to him. Oscar overheard Kim's confession to Julian about her feelings for Drew, but Kim brushed that off as something in the past. Oscar doesn't believe her, and neither do we. She's got that old CD on, listening to the evidence of their love affair. Ladies, I can't speak for Kim, but when I start listening to certain songs, it's because I'm jonesing for some dude. You?
Imagine if Drew and Kim hook up, and it causes Drew to remember everything! And then Sam comes back from her journey of self-discovery and says she wants Drew back, and he says, "Nah, I'm good. I remembered my old life when I slept with Kim, and I'm staying here with my family." Ha! That probably won't happen, but it's a fun fantasy.
I'm hoping Spinelli finds Drew's old memories on a USB drive in Faison's safe deposit box and we get to watch memory movies about his Navy SEAL days. I mean, seriously, just imagine Billy Miller in Navy dress whites. Dreamy.
Jason is hoping Sam comes back to him and told Carly he just noticed that Sam isn't herself when she is with Drew and that she's always seeking his approval. He's not wrong, I suppose. Drew isn't quite as versed in unconditional love as Jason is. I can't even imagine a relationship where someone loved me like Jason loves Sam. Jason wants Sam's happiness above all and accepts any choice she makes if it will make her happy. What must that feel like?
I've been married for nearly 30 years, and my Mama used to tell me the reason I was dissatisfied in all of my relationships (I was engaged five times before I actually got married) was because I watched too many soaps, and no guy was going to fly me to Paris for croissants in the morning or buy me a house on our second date. But Jason doesn't do grandiose things like that; he just loves her more than he loves himself, and it's beautiful.
The beautiful former priest Griffin Munroe is starting to slip a little in his holy and moral ways. He broke several laws and hospital ethics rules to run a DNA test on Peter August without his consent. Griffin confronted Peter that he knows Peter is actually Henrik Faison. Peter begged for Griffin's silence and said if Griffin outed him, he would be signing Peter's death warrant. He swore he only held Jason in the clinic in Russia for his own protection and that he was trying to save him. Do we believe him?
Readers, I'm a sucker sometimes, so I'm going to say yes. The thing is, I really like Peter despite his lying about his identity. I think he's a good guy. I want to see him reunited with his mama -- Anna. However, Anna thinks the clue in the severed branch indicates she is his next target. Is it just me, or do you totally want to read The Severed Branch?
What do you think, readers? Is Peter our new villain? Will his kindness to Maxie turn into creepy obsession like Faison had for Anna? Or will he end up being a really decent guy in spite of being fathered by a maniac? I'm hoping it's B. Robin will have a big brother, Maxie can have an uncle for her kid, and Laura Wright can keep working with her real-life boyfriend, Wes Ramsey. (If you don't follow them on Instagram, you really should. They are completely adorable.)
Nina isn't as trusting as I am, and she asked her pal Curtis to investigate Peter. She's uneasy with the way he's attached to Maxie every time she sees him. Also, I suspect she's a little hurt because Maxie indicated Nina is smothering her a little bit. Maxie explained it was just because seeing Nina makes her think of Nathan, but the hurt look in Nina's eyes made it clear that she wasn't satisfied with Maxie's answer.
When Nina discovers that Peter is Henrik and that Valentin knew it and said nothing, all hell is going to break loose. (Which I'm looking forward to, since no one does those scenes like Michelle Stafford.) Not only did Valentin know, but he has been working with Peter, too. Is there any chance Nina will ever forgive him if she finds out Valentin had any small part in Nathan being killed? I think not.
How long will this stay a secret? The odds were much better before Ava's curiosity got the best of her and she peeked inside of Griffin's envelope. Now she knows the secret, too, and the past indicates she is not a very good secret keeper. She won't be able to resist the temptation to drop her juicy tidbit of info into a conversation that someone else will overhear. I was positive that someone was going to hear Griffin calling Peter "Henrik" in the open corridor of GH, but so far, no one but Ava knows the contents of Griffin's envelope. Who will she blackmail or leverage with that info? You know she isn't going to just sit on it. Sure, she's trying to be a better person, but she's a work in progress.
You know who is not a work in progress? Dr. Bensch. He's a full-on creep (just like I told you he would be from day one). Do you remember? I called it, and I want credit! I can spot a snake a mile away.
Readers, I watched the charming James De Paiva on One Life to Live as the antihero Max Holden. He was romantic and fun and charming and passionate. Seeing him in this horrible role on GH makes me wonder how badly he needed a job. It would be like Tony Geary playing a rapist. Oh, wait.
Bensch made passes at Kiki. She firmly said no. But since she left a voicemail message that could be misconstrued, Dr. Bensch will certainly use that to make people think she slept with him. This storyline is being written perfectly. This is the sort of #metoo experience many women around the globe have been sharing the past year. I'm on that list. You probably are, too.
The sad truth about this is when this started being talked about, and my friends and I started talking -- we didn't have one #metoo story to share; we all had several. Throughout the course of a woman's life, there will always be a Dr. Bensch hitting on her in some way that she doesn't want, and she will have to wriggle out of it like the poor cat in all the Pepé Le Pew cartoons.
On to a more serious topic: the sad tale of Mike's Alzheimer's disease. I loved the scene where Michael and Sonny were listening as Mike told stories from the old days. Why Michael didn't turn his video camera on at the beginning of that story instead of the end is a mystery to me. (Oh, how I wish I had a video of my grandparents. I have to concentrate so hard to try to remember their voices…)
Readers, I am troubled that it seems the story is going to get all mobbed up. Instead of being about Mike and his disease, it's going to be about somebody Sonny buried 30 years ago. Please. Stop. Just keep it real and clean, and tell a tale about this illness that actual humans can relate to. Max Gail is knocking this out of the park, and my heart will be saddened if it turns into some mob drama instead of just the real human drama of how a family copes with a beloved relative slowly losing their memory of their life and slipping into the abyss.
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Anna regret giving Alexis permission to date Finn? Will Finn's brother, Chase, give him some more parking tickets? Will Julian put a "No Lizards Allowed" sign in front of Charlie's? Will we ever get to hear the songs on Kim and Drew's mix tape? (Yeah, I said tape. I know it's a CD.) Will Sarah Joy Brown come back as a third character so we can have all the Carlys at once? Will Josslyn and Oscar ever get in trouble at school for throwing their alternate prom, or did getting locked in the freezer and almost dying get them off the hook?
Will I ever get to see Robert Scorpio on my screen after they teased us about him coming back eons ago? Will Franco tag Jim Harvey's body with CO77X when he kills him? Will Maxie develop feelings for Chase because he's sitting at Nathan's desk? Will Liz have a talk with Jake about running when he is told to run for the next time they get abducted? Will Jason tell Monica he understands the value of memory now and let Monica tell him her stories of his childhood?
Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.