Yes, dear readers, the title is a line from the song "Iris." That song has popped into my head this week as each of our competing Jasons tried to convince the people he loves that he is the real Jason. "Don't you know me? Can't you tell it's me? Please know who I am!"
I didn't realize how much I missed Steve Burton as Jason until he was back. I watch The Young and the Restless, so I got my Steve fix when he played Dylan over in Genoa City, but truth be told, I prefer him as Jason. Just like I loved Tony Geary as Luke -- and merely tolerated him as Bill Eckert, because that was better than no Tony at all.
I know many of you reading this column are riled up right now. You will see my praise of Steve as a slam to Billy Miller, but nothing could be further from the truth! A truth that seems to elude America right now -- you can love two things and not be against either of them!
I loved Billy Miller on Y&R. If I were Victoria, I would be totally unable to resist Billy's Billy. I also love him on GH, but he's just not a Stone Cold sort of guy. He's all light and whimsy and sparkle. The character of Jason Morgan is not a lighthearted guy. I honestly believe that Billy has a better chance to shine through if he's Andrew Moore in this crazy triangle.
If he is Andrew, is that really so bad? Does that automatically mean Sam and all of Port Charles will kick him to the curb? I don't think so. A possibility I hadn't considered until Friday's episode is that even if Steve Burton is crowned the "real" Jason, I'm not convinced Sam is going to choose him, because I believe she is truly in love with Billy's Jason and with the life he is building for her and her kids, away from the mob, and becoming a media mogul.
Sam has Scout, fathered by Billy's Jason, and Danny, fathered by Steve's Jason, so she has a foothold in both men's lives for life. While she would wrestle with the choice and be tormented about having to make it, there is a possibility that she would still choose to be with Billy/Andrew/NuJason. (This is all so convoluted, I can't figure out how to refer to anyone. Bear with me as I try to navigate this delightful chaos.)
If that turns out to be the case, that would leave Steve's Jason open for Elizabeth. Readers, tell me you agree; Elizabeth would certainly ditch Franco in a heartbeat for another go-round with the man she's always wanted and never been able to truly call her own. I predict when she finds out he lied to her about Jason's twin being alive, she will dump Franco anyway.
If you are still debating about which Jason is the real Jason, I submit the following evidence: Diane Miller (played by the magnificent Carolyn Hennesy) proclaimed that Steve is the real Jason, and she has the most finely tuned B.S. meter in Port Charles.
On the other hand, Monica is convinced that Billy is Jason because they are so chummy now, which frankly is another point in Steve's favor, because original Jason never had much time or interest in the Quartermaines.
And then again, Epiphany seems to think Steve is Jason, and like Diane, she has an excellent internal B.S. meter, so another point for Steve.
I am 90% certain that Steve is the real Jason, but that other 10% has me guessing. Something that newly crowned bad guy Andre said left me doubting. He said "Patient 6 has gone back to Port Charles to the people he thinks are his family." Wait, what? People he thinks are his family?
So, if that line were true, it would mean Steve is Andrew, and Billy is Jason. But that scenario doesn't add up with the kid in Franco's photo who looks like Billy as a kid and not Steve. And what about Spinelli's computer program that showed what Billy-Jason's face looked like prior to surgery? Was Spinelli duped?
One more point in Steve's favor: he was arrested his first night back in town for beating Franco in the hospital corridors. I mean, c'mon. That's vintage Jason Morgan stuff right there. And he wants to stay in jail to find out who was paying Dr. Klein, although methinks he won't get any grand confessions out of shady Dr. Brainwash McCreeperton.
Readers, I've been watching GH for 40 years now, since 1977 (O.L.D.), and there aren't many times when I can't figure out where they are going with a plot. But right now, I have no idea at all, whatsoever, and that thrills and delights me.
Part of the fun of soap viewing is wondering what's going to happen next and speculating and daydreaming and trying to figure out the puzzle. But for me, it's been kind of like doing a jigsaw puzzle meant for a four-year-old with giant obvious pieces, which I can put together in three seconds.
This storyline, however, is a 1000-piece puzzle with tiny pieces all the same size and color. It's impossible to know at a glance where they all fit and what the final picture will look like. That makes me giddy.
Dear GH writers, thank you for surprising me, for keeping me guessing, for making me use my brain, for not doing the obvious, for dragging it out and making me wonder, for keeping me in suspense. Thank you for writing a story in which there is no clear bad guy; both men genuinely believe they are Jason. Both men are loving and loyal to their family and friends. This is not a tale of bad guy vs. good guy but a tale of unseen forces in the universe versus two good guys. That's compelling storytelling. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.
The acting this week has been stellar. The Sonny/Jason scenes and the Carly/Jason scenes in particular got me all verklempt. What is it about Steve Burton's eyes that make me cry? When he emotes through his eyes, it always makes me cry, and I can't put my finger on it -- his passion, his heart pouring out through those baby blues, his faith beaming out and seeing glimpse of his Creator in him? I don't know, but I just know it moves me. I must also shine a light on Maurice Benard -- he was wonderful in those first scenes where Sonny hugs Jason and calls him his brother. So touching! I had to go get the box of Kleenex.
When Jason-6 (oh, yeah, now I remember, I was going to use that as my differentiator) entered Sonny's home, carrying a dripping-wet Sam fresh from the harbor, and Jason-6 locked eyes with Carly for the first time, I thought Laura Wright's heart was going to burst out of her chest. All of the "first" scenes were so incredibly well done. I love how the cops are calling him "the individual." Sounds like a bad TV show about a guy in witness protection.
There were other things happening in Port Charles this week, too, and I don't want to skim over them. Kevin and Laura got engaged in a very sweet and glamorous proposal. But on the downside, it was a proposal on Halloween! Can that be a good omen for the happy couple? Time will tell. As long as Spencer and Lucky come home for the wedding, I will be happy. But, Doc, whatever you do, don't invite Lucy Coe or her duck.
Griffin and Ava are bonding and dating, and it's adorable. They are nervous and awkward; they are smitten and unable to hide it. Sonny ran into them, pumped Ava for information, disbelieved everything she said, and offered to pray for Griffin. Sonny seemed to think that Griffin made the wrong choice when picking between God and Ava. I hope that Jason-6 will vouch for Ava with Sonny and back up her claim of helping him escape. I hope that somehow her kindness to Jason will lessen the hatred Sonny feels toward Ava. I hope Morgan is secretly still alive and in the memory clinic and comes home, thinking he's Michael or something.
So, what's up with the WSB and their weird experiment, anyway? How would this be useful to them? Finding body doubles, implanting them with someone else's memories, and slipping them into someone else's life doesn't seem to have much spy value. More practical would be finding body doubles and training them to act like the other person and slipping them into someone else's life. But if the person actually thinks that they are the original person, what is the point?
Another question, who is the mystery donor who funded this weird project? Helena? Spencer's Uncle Victor? Jerry Jax hoping to turn himself into his happy brother Jasper? It's hard to say, but I will be interested to find out the answer to that mystery.
Another mystery we have yet to solve is who is Oscar's daddy and why doesn't his mom ever get a day off from Mercy Hospital? What kind of slave drivers are they? The people at GH are always having picnics in the park and eating BLT's at Kelly's, but none of the Mercy Hospital staff are ever seen outside of the hospital. Very curious.
The mention of San Diego, my beautiful city, delights me. America's Finest City. (That's our real nickname, and S.D. lives up to it, trust me.) Oscar's dad was from San Diego, and the kids know we have beaches and pandas here, but they don't know who fathered Oscar. What do you think, dear readers? Who in Port Charles had a little fling in San Diego? Who is his daddy? Dante? Finn? Griffin? Ric? Sonny? Jax? Julian? I'd love to hear all of your theories on which man Oscar's daddy will be. As for me, I am just patiently waiting for Tamara Braun to show up on my TV.
Is it just me, or do you think Anna and Finn's fake romance got under their skin? A relationship that begins with blackmail isn't ideal, but I think over the course of their time together, they have developed an appreciation for one another's character and passion. Part of me says, "No, Finn, don't lose your medical license!" and the other part of me says, "I loved Michael Easton as John McBain." If he loses his medical license, he can go to work for Anna, working on cases.
I'm somewhat sad that Cassandra is a drug-dealing baddie because I like Jessica Tuck, and I know she won't be around for long. If Sonny sees someone moving drugs into his territory, she's done for.
As to the Claudette factor, as I have said many times before, I don't understand blackmail as a concept. If I were Valentin, I would go to Nina right now and confess. "Hey, Nina, I'm being blackmailed by an old associate from my bad guy days, and she has Claudette and is threatening to use her against me." We all have secrets, and sometimes those secrets come to light and you just have to deal with the fallout as best you can and move forward. But if Valentin starts dealing drugs so no one finds out Claudette is alive, I will despise him. (But not for long, because I adore James Patrick Stuart, and I could ever stay mad at him. Just like Nina.)
I do have hope for Valentin's reformation, though, because instead of helping Dr. Klein escape, he got him arrested instead. Sure, Dr. Klein helped Valentin go from Hunchback to full-on hunk, but that doesn't mean Valentin should commit crimes to protect him from all the evil he has done in the past five years.
Speaking of doing evil, we have believed Andre to be a good guy for the past two years, and it turns out he's been a bad guy, right under our noses. Was he doing this for the sake of humanity and with some good motive in mind? It doesn't matter. The "he meant well" thing doesn't work. He stole a man's life and experimented on his brain, and no matter what his intentions were, he doesn't get a pass on that. Is he gone for good? Will he be back and become a full-on WSB agent?
Time will tell, but at least he confessed to Franco before he left town. And I think Franco confessed to Scott. Franco hid the evidence in his art room at GH, and Curtis found it in four seconds flat. But Curtis is loyal to Billy-Jason, so if Jason-6 is really Jason, will Curtis stay quiet to protect Billy-Jason? I think he might. Loyalty matters to him.
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Carly keep making it all about her with the "This is all my fault, I convinced everyone that other dude was Jason" bit? Will Chet arrive in town only to have his life story blasted to the world in an "Ask Man Landers" exposť in Crimson? Will Kevin and Laura have a Christmas wedding and dress as Mr. And Mrs. Santa? Will Maxie yell at Amy again about the great sacrifices she has made for two weeks and forget the months of leaving her husband alone while she was in Portland?
Will Franco stop lying? Will Nelle stop lying? Will Valentin stop lying? Will Anna stop lying? (By the way, the answer to all of these is No.) Will the Quartermaines get homemade pizza for Thanksgiving this year, baked by Olivia? Will Jason-6 steal Billy-Jason's motorcycle and go for a ride to clear his head? Will Robin come home for Thanksgiving and run into him on the bridge? Will ghost Stone appear and thank Jason for mentioning his name in his cryptic note to Sonny? Will Sam decide to keep both Jasons and become a polygamist? Will Sonny actually start praying for Griffin and Ava?
Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.