Dear Readers, it's been a whirlwind week on GH. We have many topics to explore.
Shall I dive right in?
First, I'll say that one of the great joys of watching soaps is the anticipation. We get caught up in a romance or a mystery, we are compelled by a well-told storyline, and our minds begin asking, "What will happen next?" The soap community at large begins spinning theories and discussing all the delicious possibilities. Sometimes we guess right, and sometimes we are way off base, but we are all on the edge of our seats on the day of the big reveal to see if we predicted the correct outcome.
This week in particular, soap fans have been abuzz about the impending return of Steve Burton. Who would he be? We already have a Jason Morgan, so theories abounded as to whether Steve would come back to reveal himself as the "real" Jason, proving Billy Miller's "Jake Doe" Jason as an impostor. Some considered the possibility that perhaps Steve was recast as a still-living Nikolas Cassadine. Still others thought Steve would be a long lost twin of Franco, who was passed off as a Q by crazy Heather. There was a plethora of theories being discussed.
When I didn't see Billy Miller's face all week as he lay in a coma, I thought maybe Jason would wake up from his coma and magically be Jason again, like some Bobby Ewing on Dallas thing. I wondered if perhaps the entire Billy Miller Jason was just a figment of Sam's brain infection or perhaps a bad dream caused by Noodle Buddha salmonella. Do you think it was a smart idea to keep his face hidden, or did it drive you mad?
Like all of you, I have explored a dozen theories in my mind. I have tweeted, texted, and talked about these theories with a plethora of soap viewers. The theories were all over the place, and they all seemed plausible. As of Friday's episode, we are narrowing down the list and getting to the truth.
When we got our first glimpse of "Patient 6" (which begs the question, who are Patients 1 to 5?) I let myself hope that there was a possibility of getting Nikolas and old Jason back in the same week. But alas, it was not to be. I know Tyler Christopher has moved to Days of our Lives, but we have had two other Nikolases in the past, and I'd settle for either of them versus having no Nikolas at all.
At this moment, it does not appear that Nikolas is coming back. The hints otherwise were merely a diversion. If Friday's episode is true, Jason has a twin, and whether Steve Burton or Billy Miller is Jason and which is the other twin is anyone's guess. I wonder, did Alan Quartermaine know he had twins? He's dead now, so we won't be able to ask him. Did he think Monica would raise one kid that wasn't hers but not two? Or was he totally in the dark? Only Heather has the answers, and she probably won't tell.
When Patient 6 unmasked those baby blues, it was a bit anticlimactic. After months of hype about Steve Burton's return and all of my pent-up anticipation, we didn't even get (and still have not gotten) a full-face shot!
In my humble opinion, GH has had a bad habit of doing that lately -- getting our hopes up that a really juicy story is coming and then just abruptly ending it with no payoff.
Would you like a few examples? Maxie's return and the revelation that Nathan was posing as "Ask Man Landers" was something we anticipated -- we expected a catfight between Maxie and Amy. Or at least a kitten fight. But instead, it was a snooze. Nina and Valentin's delicious Moroccan reunion was passionate and perfect; it took our breath away. But then the lame "missing for three minutes necklace" saga immediately interrupted it. We were still reveling in their reunion, wrapped up in fantasies of such a romantic setting, but boom! It was over. Julexis' on-again, off-again romance has been off more than on. Every time we think a reunion is on the horizon, the writers snatch it away again. Valerie posed as Kristina's girlfriend to make Parker jealous for all of about four minutes. I would have liked to see that play out a little longer. Build-ups and tension make for interesting viewing, but these endless teases that go nowhere are starting to wear thin.
As soon as we saw Steve Burton's dreamy eyes, I said to my husband, "You'd think Ava would recognize those eyes as the guy who threatened to kill her like 30 times."
I missed this when it happened, but I heard that Entertainment Weekly stole the moment from GH by revealing the shot of Jason's eyes before it aired on ABC. Bad form, EW! Can you imagine the roar from the crowd if EW had spoiled HBO's "Dragon torches kingdoms to the ground" scene in Game of Thrones before it aired?
But I digress. Patient 6, in spite of being shot up with vials of horse tranquilizer, is still coherent enough to remove his mask and attempt to get up out of his wheelchair. After repeated warnings, curious kitty Ava can't tear herself away, and one has to wonder if she survived the fire only to be killed by the violent Patient 6.
I doubt that she is in danger, but I wish Ava would exhibit at least a healthy amount of fear. If I were sent to some creepy clinic in Russia that had the Man in the Iron Mask as one of its patients, I would have hightailed it out of there in a New York minute.
Patient 6 managed to hold a pen in his hand and write something on a paper. If it were Sonny's number, you'd think that Ava would have recognized it after all those times trying to call Sonny to see Avery. So it must have been Sam's number. What will Ava do when the voice at the other end of the phone belongs to her niece Sam? Will she put two and two together? Will she use Jason for leverage? Or will Ava be the hero that saves Jason's life and finally earns Sonny and Jason's forgiveness for her previous sins?
Of course, right now, she's in Russia, far from Port Charles. Here's a sudsy question…how does a little 30-minute soap like The Bold and the Beautiful have the budget to do beautiful and breathtaking location shoots while GH gives us '70s-era still backdrops? I certainly don't want to bankrupt GH, but the latest ratings showed that last week 2,462,000 people watched GH. If we did a crowd source and each kicked in a dollar, we could send the entire cast on the Viking River Cruise for a week. Would location shoots excite you? They do me. I think Laura and Kevin, and Lulu and Dante should go to Ireland to find Lucky.
You know what else excites me? People from OLTL showing up in Port Charles. I was delighted to see Jessica Tuck this week, even though she was immediately poisoned by Anna (but saved by Finn). Who is she, and why is she on Anna's radar?
One more mystery to discuss…How does Betsy Frank fit into the Jason mystery? It now seems clear that Jason's twin brother and Franco played together as kids, but were they raised together, too? When did "Jake Doe" get kidnapped by Helena or whoever brainwashed him to think he was Jason? Who had him all these years? Is Franco's obsession with Jason justified? Were they raised as brothers and then suddenly separated? Of course, I know the brain tumor factored in and that BLT-loving Heather factored in, but it seems clear now that there was a legitimate basis for the way Franco was drawn to Jason.
Here's my bottom line: I love Steve Burton. I love Billy Miller. I don't want to have to choose between them. Imagine when news gets out that Billy Miller's Jason is "real" Jason's twin, and Elizabeth realizes she didn't have to give up Jake Doe! Will she make a beeline to Jake, or will she stay with Franco? Juicy.
Something else that's juicy is Lulu's momentary warm-up to Valentin. I couldn't decide if she was working him, or if she was truly beginning to soften to his existence. Lulu finally saw the side of Valentin that made Nina (and Tamilu) fall in love with him. But her change of heart ended when Dante figured out that Valentin coerced Ava into changing her statement about his part in Nikolas' shooting.
I can envision a time when Lulu and Valentin will be fighting an attraction together down the line, due to the fact that they make such beautiful babies. But just a flirtation, not a fling. Why? Because no one on GH these days has more chemistry than Michelle Stafford and James Patrick Stuart, in my humble opinion. I could watch Nina and Valentin all day.
Jordan and Curtis fought their attraction as long as they could but finally gave in and got back together. Jordan was very judge-y about Curtis' association with a mobster looking bad for her career. I was screaming at my TV, "Hey, Jordan! Didn't you let a mobster pay for T.J.'s college???" But alas, she didn't hear me.
As if all this wasn't enough intrigue, we are waiting to find out if Nelle is or is not a black widow latching onto rich young men to off them for their trust funds. What do you think, readers? Is Nelle a basically good but flawed young lady, or is she a cold-hearted killer? Now that Michael has purchased her apartment so she doesn't have to move, I am sure Carly will have to be put on Xanax.
Totally off topic, but worth discussing: I pitched this on Twitter, and I'm going to mention it here, too. I want GH to do a storm storyline.
This year, great portions of the U.S. have been devastated by natural disasters: hurricanes, wildfires, floods, tornadoes, etc. So many people in so many states have had their lives forever changed.
Something soaps of the '80s and '90s used to be great at was taking on social issues and bringing them to light. I would love to see a hurricane totally level Port Charles (or at least a few locations in Port Charles) and watch the people of Port Charles have to cope, rebuild, rescue people they hate, work with their sworn enemies, become heroic in time of crisis, and face the sorts of problems thousands of people all over the US and the Caribbean are facing. Imagine Sonny and Ava having to live together because only one of them has running water! Imagine Valetin having to rescue Lulu from drowning because Charlotte is watching. Imagine Spinelli becoming a hero wading though waist-high water, carrying people out of the floodwaters. Imagine Liz and Epiphany having to evacuate GH and finding safe places for all of their patients to ride out the storm. It would be so timely, so powerful, and so appreciated.
Now, I pause briefly for a small love letter to Maura West… Maura, I think you are a brilliant performer. In the past several months, you have had to act with your entire face, save one eye, bandaged up; with half your face covered by a Phantom of the Opera mask, and now opposite a man in a full Darth Vader mask who is not responding to you -- at all, whatsoever. And here's the thing, you are freaking riveting in every scene. This is your year for an Emmy, baby.
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Sonny host a dinner party for all the people who have shot him, since he's clearly so at ease with Sam after she shot him and drop-kicked him into a hole? Will Sam's brother Lucas ever make an appearance and offer her any moral support, since he supposedly works for GH but never, ever bumps into Sam in the hallways or comes to see his comatose brother-in-law? Will every person in Port Charles do one more round of "It's never been the same since Jason came back" before old Jason comes back?
Will Scotty admit he knows about Jason's twin, since it was clear he's in it up to his eyebrows after relentlessly trying to get Franco to drop it? ("Maybe it was just baseball shirt day at the playground…") Will Sam be able to pick a Jason when she has two to pick from? Will I ever get to be right about Nikolas being alive? Will Tamara Braun return and be connected to Nelle somehow, so we can have a Carly on Carly catfight? Will Charlotte's adorable friend (and real-life sister of Brooklyn Rae Silzer) get treatment for her scoliosis at Shriners Hospital?
Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.