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 Two Scoops: July 21, 2014 columns
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Bad, bad Levi Dunkleman
For the Week of July 21, 2014
Rafe's heart has been extinguished, Alice still needs a heart, and there is at least one character in Port Charles who doesn't seem to be using his heart -- so perhaps it's up for grabs. Grab your stethoscopes and get ready for this week's Two Scoops.
Dear readers, I have written for soapcentral.com for a over decade now, and Levi is the one and only character in my years of writing this column who is universally loathed. I have not had one single "I love Levi" letter. We all hate him. He has performed a miracle by uniting us as one big GH family. In the past, we have battled over love triangles galore, taken both sides in a debate over controversial characters, squabbled over villains, and bickered over the use of mob violence, but Levi is the uniting force -- we hate him as one giant soapy army. (Although, just making this declaration, I can now anticipate a batch of "I love Levi" letters in my inbox.)


Clearly, they want us to hate him, and it speaks to Zachary Garred's talent as an actor that he can make us hate him so thoroughly. What we hate is his hypocrisy -- he appears to be a peace-loving nature boy, but in truth, he is a conniving snake. The problem for me as a viewer is I can't decide the true depth of his evil.


Is he merely trying to make Nathan look bad (as if anyone ever could) to Maxie, or are his motives are even more detestable? Is he part of the mob? Is he in league with Jerry Jacks, Mickey Diamond, and Fluke? Is he just a jerk or an actual bad guy? We don't know yet. One thing I know, part of the reason I want to be rid of him is so Maxie can go back to being a fashionista and stop wearing Gunne Sax dresses from the 1980s.


As for me, I like clear villains. I want someone to hate. Or love to hate as the case may be; people like Faison, Anthony, Obrecht, Helena, and Jerry are both amusing and evil. You know they are villains and why. But right now, our villains are all … vague. Mickey is involved with Fluke and drugs, but we don't know who he is, where he came from, or what he wants. Levi is evil, but we don't know his true motives. Obrecht is dancing the line between sane and insane, and frankly I like her on either side of the divide. Britt is deciding whether she is Britt or the Britch and has dipped a toe in each pond. Nina isn't so much villain as victim, I think -- after 20 years in a coma, I'd go a little mad, too, if I fell asleep in 1994 and woke up in 2014.


As to Nina, why haven't we gotten a jail scene where Nina goes to tell off Madeline for all the horrible things she has done? Is Donna Mills on summer break? I think that scene needs to happen, but perhaps they are waiting for the next sweeps period.


Nina no longer has to worry about her secret being exposed, since the only person who knew it, Rafe, is gone. Poor Jimmy Deshler. He was a cute kid, and Rafe had the potential to grow into a real character with a compelling storyline -- but his flame was extinguished too soon, as many soap characters before him. Think about the potential material -- Rafe's dad was a serial killer who thought he was a vampire, his mom was murdered, and his Aunt Lucy believed herself to be a vampire slayer. C'mon man, that's a gold mine! But all that juicy soapy goodness is gone, unless of course Rafe resurrects and actually is a vampire. Now that would be Magically Soapalicious!


The trend to take people who know secrets and have them die (Rafe) or keel over (Alice) before they get to tell their secret is annoying. I understand we have to build suspense and drag things out to some extent, but just once I want someone to overhear a secret and immediately blurt it out. Just once.


Speaking of Alice, I can't help but ask myself, who else is going to have to die for her to get a heart? Or is Alice going to die with her secret, too? Is this the way they are cutting down expenses? Kill off a few minor characters and give the stars raises? I don't know, but if they killed off Levi so Alice could have a heart, I would not shed one tear. He clearly isn't using his heart. He is purposely keeping Maxie from her baby and lying about her friends and alienating her from loved ones. Maybe Tracy can buy Levi's heart for Alice; she's loaded, after all. But, it's probably clogged with tofu and weed.


Readers, don't mock me, but one of my favorite relationships on GH right now is Spencer Cassadine and Britt. I love the two of them conspiring to get Britt back in Nikolas' good graces. Britt pretending to like kids just to be close to Nik and Spencer is hilarious. I wouldn't attend that camp for one day even if it meant possibly snagging a handsome prince.


I hope her plan works, though, because I want Nikolas with Britt. Nevertheless, I am slightly afraid now that "Operation Runaway" is underway that it will go terribly wrong, that Spencer will be hurt and that Britt will again be in the princely doghouse.


I want Elizabeth with Ric once she finds out he is alive. I always loved their twisted romance, even in the "panic button days." Here's my question -- now that Tony Geary is down for the count for six months (Get well soon, Tony! And I'm not just saying that because I want to know who Fluke is, I swear.), does that mean that storyline will be on hold for six months, too? We just got Ric Hearst back on canvas and then he was shipped off to Witness Protection after his faked death, and I am already ready for his reunion with Molly and Elizabeth. #bringbackric


Readers, Halley Pullos was such a find for GH -- ever since the day she was cast, she has been a tremendous young actor. Between the scenes where her Daddy is (fake) dying and now Rafe, she has some amazing scenes of real emotion, and I hope the Emmys take note next year. Although I am not hopeful, since GH was mostly overlooked in 2014. Imagine if GH hadn't fired Lexi Ainsworth and we had both a powerhouse Kristina and Molly in the Davis girl clan? I think it's time for Kristina to come home and weigh in on Alexis' dating Julian.


For a split second, I worried about Sam and Silas and their relationship crumbling, but when I hear the rumors that Billy Miller may be coming to GH as a recast Jason, I am all for Sam and Silas crumbling to free her up for a wholehearted reunion with Jason. Billy Miller is a powerhouse performer, and if ABC snagged him for GH, good for them. Although I have to say the trend of GH taking Y&R actors and Y&R taking GH actors makes me a little dizzy sometimes.


Carly and Franco are having issues, too, and to be honest, I've lost interest in them. I'm far more interested in Franco's budding friendship with Obrecht than I am with his romance with Carly. And, of course, it still really all boils down to this: I want Roger Howarth to be Todd, and I want James Franco to be Franco. But you can't always get what you want. My favorite Franco scene this week, and a direction I hope they continue, was pairing Franco with Nina. That scene worked very well, and the idea of having Roger Howarth and Michelle Stafford on-screen together lit me up like a Christmas tree inside. I don't care if they are lovers or partners in crime -- just put them together.


In other romantic news, the Lucas/Felix/Brad triangle is heating up, and Brad can't seem to stop kiss-bombing people. That's his "go to" when he wants to make a dramatic point, he just grabs the guy and smooches him. And that will accomplish…what? Oh right, Brad is cray-cray like Britt when it comes to matters of the heart.


At first, Brad hid his relationship with Lucas because he wanted Felix, but now that Felix and Lucas are dating, he wants Lucas back. Dude, get a grip on yourself! Of course, I doubt the writers will allow Felix and Lucas to keep dating because they are both nice, normal guys who could have a rich, real relationship, and we can't have that on a soap! Wouldn't it be groundbreaking if GH let a same sex couple be the anchor couple on the show, the balanced, grounded, normal couple that other messed up, struggling couples come to for relationship advice? Also, I am happy that Julian, who started out as a major homophobe, is really trying to accept Lucas and listen to his relationship issues and advise him like a loving father.


What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Jax come home, see what a brat Josslyn has become, and enroll her in charm school before she fully morphs into a bossy little Carly Jr? Will half-naked Morgan and barely clothed Kiki be able to make it through July without throwing their former spouse down in the Brownstone construction pile and having their way with each other? Will Nurse Rosalie lose her license when it's discovered that her patient isn't really paralyzed? Will Patrick see if Robin can resurrect Rafe while she's in the La-Boooor-ah-tory unfreezing Cassadines before he divorces her? Will Nathan move in with his new sister, Britt, since Maxie kicked him to the curb? Will Maxie's place reek of Patchouli now that Nathan isn't around to curb Levi's hippie-dippie-ness? Will Ellie dump Spinelli so he has a reason to bring baby Georgie home?


Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows!


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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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