Last week was a bleak time for anyone who was a Liz fan, like me. Liz had switched the results of the DNA test for Sam's baby, and then went all passive-aggressive high school girl on us by talking to Lulu about Jason, stretching the truth and flat-out lying about her relationship with Jason, knowing that Sam's big ears were soaking it all in.
Twenty-four hours later (soap time, not real time), Liz came clean to Jason about everything, including what happened to the DNA test. It doesn't make what she did okay, but it did allow the wrongs to be righted and the healing to begin quickly.
Liz's reasoning for changing the DNA tests and lying about her relationship with Jason was three-fold. Liz loved Jason and wanted it to be their time. I know that some think that this is a bunch of malarkey because there was no evidence of, or reason for, Liz falling in love with Jason again when he clearly was still in love with Sam, but I disagree. I believe that Liz has always loved Jason. Sometimes that love burned hot, other times it simmered quietly on the back burner. However, it was always there.
It took very little for that love to bubble up again. Just a few mixed signals and a couple of passionate kisses from Jason, and Liz was back on the love train. Jason seems to have that effect on women. I think it's his good looks combined with that unattainable bad-boy image. He's a challenge, and most people like challenges.
The other reason that Liz tampered with that test had to do with something that Sam did years ago, when Jake was a newborn. To refresh your memories, Sam lurked in the bushes at the park, spying on her rival, Liz, when a grieving Maureen Harper snatched little Jakey out of his carriage while Liz was tying Cam's shoe.
Unlike Liz, Sam didn't fess up about what happened, so Lucky, Jason, and Liz agonized over Jake's fate. At one point, Lucky even suggested that Liz might have harmed the infant because of postpartum psychosis. Sam refused to let Lucky and Liz make an appeal to the kidnapper on Sam's television show, Everyday Heroes, and then twisted the knife by getting herself liquored up before staggering over to Liz's house to suggest that Liz finally felt the pain of losing a child, like Sam had when Sam had given birth to a stillborn daughter three years earlier. Sam then callously consoled Liz with the reminder that at least Liz had Cameron and the ability to have more babies, unlike Sam.
There was also that little stunt that Sam pulled when she hired two thugs to terrorize Liz and the kids in the park to drive home to Liz that Liz and the kids would never be safe in Jason's world.
It was definitely not one of Sam's finest hours.
Sam didn't admit to any of it until Jason confronted her with the truth. That's when Sam explained that she had done all of those horrible things because she was grieving for her stillborn daughter, reeling from her infertility issues, and felt helpless, as Jason slipped further away and into the arms of the woman who had given him a son.
Some will argue that Sam later saved Jake from the Russians, when she risked life and limb by jumping out of an exploding building with Jake nestled safely in her arms. However, Sam didn't do that to make amends. She did that because it was the right thing to do.
Liz was grateful to Sam for saving Jake, and she did allow Sam to be around Jake and Cameron when Lucky dated Sam, but Liz did that for Lucky, not for Sam.
The third reason that Liz changed those DNA results was because she felt bad for Téa, who would suffer two profound losses in one instant: the death of her biological child and having the baby that she believed was hers taken away. Liz knows the pain of losing a child, so I can see why she would want to spare another that kind of devastation.
However, Liz ultimately stepped forward with the truth because it was the right thing to do, not because she got busted. I was really pleased that Sam didn't go all harpy on Liz but instead showed real maturity by acknowledging her own mistakes and admitting that she was in no position to judge Liz.
It's true that Liz didn't tell Sam everything, but I suspect that it was because Liz recognized that it was Jason's place to tell Sam about the baby, not hers.
That brings me to the first of several mistakes that I caught this week. John arrived in Llanview and pulled out a paternity test for Sam Morgan. Shouldn't that have been a maternity test? The baby's DNA was compared to Sam's, not Jason's.
John didn't get a chance to tell Téa the truth about little Victor, who is most assuredly going to get a new name within the coming weeks. Heather had managed to slip out of the house with the baby and disappear into the night. This means that next week will be all about Jason, Sam, and the baby, as Steve Burton's days on GH come to a close. Fear not, I will not spoil you on how he exits, but I will tell you that next week will be exciting.
Connie also decided to come clean to the world, as she proudly announced that she had married Johnny Zacchara, and oh yeah, that she was Connie, not Kate. Sonny wanted to immediately ship her off to Shadybrook for integration, but Connie smugly informed Sonny that it wasn't his call to make. It was Johnny's. Meanwhile, Johnny sat amongst the guests, looking very much like a man who was trying his best to turn invisible.
I don't blame him. Carly was seated next to him, glaring at him and building up steam like a pressure cooker.
That brings me to a couple of other mistakes on the part of the writers. Connie proudly showed Sonny the marriage license, as she pointed out, "Bride: Constanza Falconeri. Groom: John Zacchara."
Alexis confirmed that the marriage was valid, but I cry foul, because Kate legally changed her name to Katherine Hardwick Howard. Now, I'm not a lawyer, but how can a marriage license be valid if the person who signed it used a name that isn't legally theirs? Furthermore, how can a woman with a well-documented mental illness, which includes an alter personality named Constanza Falconeri, legally enter into any contract, much less a marriage?
The writers should have simply had Connie sign that marriage license "Katherine Hardwicke Howard."
Back to the fiasco that was Kate and Sonny's wedding. After Connie spilled the beans, the wedding turned into a boxing match. First, Sonny attacked Johnny, prompting Dante, Shawn, Max, and Milo to step in and pull Sonny off Johnny, who was either too weak or to guilt-ridden to fight back. Next up, Starr took a swing at Connie for killing Hope and Cole.
It's true that Connie is not responsible for what happened to Starr's family, but Starr doesn't know that, and Connie deserved that punch, so it was quite satisfying to see. Don't get me wrong, I find Connie very entertaining, like when she told Johnny that she had brought some sex toys for their wedding night, and then skipped up the stairs to the bedroom, but she does go too far at times, which I do not find amusing. She deserved that punch for the cruel way that she talked to Trey when he learned that Kate was his mother.
However, there were some light moments. The funniest exchange this week occurred at the wedding between Spinelli and one of my new favorite characters, Ellie.
Spinelli: "This is a dark day. For Connie to vanquish Kate and make her presence known at the altar in front of her erstwhile groom's family and friends. This -- this is a disaster. Come on."
Ellie: "It is the most extraordinary wedding I have ever been to."
Spinelli: "Um, [Chuckles] Perhaps I should explain. The bride suffers from a very rare --"
Ellie: "Dissociative identity disorder, also known as D.I.D."
Spinelli: "D-did you come across that in your studies?"
Ellie: "Well, it was in a chapter in one of my textbooks, but I have to admit, I've gleaned most of my knowledge from daytime television."
Spinelli: "It is a surprising font of information."
I laughed so hard, my sides hurt. That scene made up for the "What the Heck" moments, like the paternity test that should have been a maternity test and the issues with Connie and Johnny's marriage license.
I also enjoyed watching Alexis and Sonny's scenes, when Alexis kept Sonny from drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Jack and stopped him from storming over to Johnny's penthouse to drag Connie by the hair to Shadybrook. It was so nice to see them finally being genuinely kind and caring towards each other. I almost forgot what great friends they once were, before a romp in the hay that resulted in Kristina's conception ruined it all.
Someone who continued to have a problem with the truth this week was Crazy Joe, who went completely off the rails when he kidnapped Kristina with the intention of killing her in Sonny's warehouse so that Sonny would suffer. Joe also wanted to get his hands on Kristina's inheritance. It was such convoluted thinking that it was difficult to follow his reasoning, but in a nutshell, Joe decided that Trey, as Kristina's widower, would somehow magically inherit Kristina's portion of Sonny's empire, even though she's one of four Corinthos children. At best, Trey would inherit a trust fund that is just a small fraction of Sonny's wealth, since Sonny is still alive and enjoying the fruits of his criminal labor.
Despite Joe's crazy-pants thinking, I kept yelling, "Less talking, more shooting," at my television. Kristina was the most unsympathetic hostage ever. Lindsey Morgan is great at being angry, but little else. Her shaking and crying was over-the-top, and cringe-worthy at times. Mind you, I'm not a bloodthirsty person, but at this point, I'd be happy if Casey the alien returned to take Kristina back to his home planet.
The only good thing about Kristina's scenes was the realization that they still make non-waterproof mascara, which means that I'll have to pay closer attention the next time I pick some up.
After Joe fled the warehouse, he made his way to the Quartermaine mansion to convince Tracy to remove the bullet from his shoulder and hide him out. Another funny exchange this week took place during those scenes, when Tracy returned to Joe's side with Monica's medical bag and found him resting on the sofa.
Tracy: "What are you doing?!"
Joe Jr.: "Bleeding."
Tracy: "All over an antique couch! You're gonna leave a conspicuous blood stain!"
Later, Dante arrived to give Tracy some much-needed truths about her Joseph, and while it didn't set Joe free, it did set Tracy free. It was bittersweet, because I did like the chemistry between Jane and Richard, but Joe is a seriously delusional bad guy with no hope for redemption, so I want him far away from Tracy and every other woman on the show.
The issue of whether or not Joe raped Kate/Connie was also addressed again this week. Sonny, thinking that Kate had heard his impassioned plea for her to fight Connie, tried to reassure Kate, not realizing that Connie was just playing him.
Sonny: "Hey. It's okay. I won't let anything happen to you, all right?"
Connie: "But you did, didn't you? You let Joe Jr. rape me. You let Kate get shot. So much for promises, right?"
Connie and Kate have each accused Joe of rape, so, for me, it seals the deal once and for all. I can't get behind a character like Joe, who refuses to acknowledge any of his wrongs, much less take responsibility for them. Joe is always twisting things around to make himself look like the victim. At times, he seems to actually believe his lies. That is why I cannot see Joe being redeemed.
Lastly, it appears that the writers have decided Edward's fate, since John Ingle has passed away. This week, Monica and Tracy discussed Edward's frail health. I suspect that this is an indication that Edward will pass away in his sleep, like his beloved Lila. I'm happy that they aren't going to recast the character, because that final scene at the hospital, when Edward selflessly gave Emma the last dose of life-saving serum, was a perfect and fitting end for Edward.