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 Two Scoops: April 9, 2012 columns
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Port Charles' glass houses
For the Week of April 9, 2012
Some people do not practice what they preach. As Carly fell into bed with a mobster, Olivia asked another mobster to take care of a little problem for her. Meanwhile, Sam struggled with the revelation that Jason had an evil twin who might have fathered her child. It's time to dish about what's been going on in Port Charles in this week's Two Scoops.
If there are any glass houses in Port Charles then Carly and Olivia need to stay far far away from them, because those two throw some big rocks. It would be hazardous to their health.


A few years ago, Carly badgered Sonny into giving up his rights to both children, because Carly had finally realized that Sonny's life was too dangerous after Michael was shot in the head. She even went so far as to ship Morgan away, to keep Sonny's life from corrupting her precious little Morgan. Fast-forward to this week, and what do we see? Carly thumbing her nose at everyone, and repeatedly reminding them that it's her life, so she is free to date whomever she likes, including mobster boy-toy Johnny Zacchara, who happens to be closely related to an even more unstable man than Sonny. I'm referring, of course, to Anthony Zacchara.


Meanwhile, Olivia, who tore poor Sonny a new one after Carly unleashed the Port Chuck Kraken on Jax, had a sit-down with her baby-daddy to ask him to take care of a little problem. After huffing and puffing her outrage at Sonny for almost killing Jax, Olivia asked the short-fused Don to do, "whatever it takes," to shut Johnny up, because Johnny has been blackmailing Steve.


Sonny, who apparently still feels the sting from the last time that the good citizens objected to his methods of persuasion, carefully asked Olivia to clarify. "Olivia, you know what that sounds like, right?" At this point, dear readers, Olivia should have said, "Yeah, you're right, never mind," and then put the key to the Kraken's cage away. However, she didn't.


Instead, in a moment of sheer stupidity, Olivia told Sonny that she didn't want Johnny to end up at the bottom of the harbor. Like that was actually going to stop Sonny. She might as well have told the hungry lion not to eat the steak dinner. Naturally, two scenes later, Sonny was standing in the hallway of Michael's apartment building, plotting with Jason to kill Johnny.


Sonny requires very little incentive to turn violent, so the last thing that Sonny needed was for Olivia to play cheerleader on the sidelines, while Sonny goes after Johnny.


I don't see this ending well for anyone.


Meanwhile, things are starting to get a little interesting between John McBain and Anna Devane. We learned this week that Anna was John's mentor when John was starting out with the FBI. However, it appears that John kept a little secret from Anna, as well as everyone in Llanview; he had a sister, whom Sonny apparently killed.


Now, I'm pretty certain that Sonny didn't just shoot Ms. McBain in cold blood, because that's not Sonny's style, but I do believe that he might have indirectly caused her death. I suspect that we are about to revisit the seedier side of Sonny's unsavory past. If you recall, Sonny wasn't always the mobster with a heart of gold. There was a time when he ran strip clubs, trafficked drugs, and took advantage of underage girls.


It would not surprise me if John's sister followed a similar path to Karen Wexler. If you don't know who Karen Wexler is, take a look at Scotty Baldwin's eldest daughter's profile. It's downright tragic.


John appears to be collecting foes left and right. Dante disliked John on sight, Sonny has a sordid history with John, and I'm sure Jason isn't going to be too pleased when he finds out that Sam has been turning to Father McBain, err, I mean John, with all of her problems and secrets, which I find just downright odd.


The "I feel like I knew you in a past life" thing has gotten old quick, and I'm not buying this insta-trust thing Sam has with John.


This week, the platinum membership card to the Village Idiot Club goes to Sam. After that horrible argument with Jason, when he plainly told her that he would not tolerate being lied to again by her, or treated like he can't make decisions, Sam has decided that it's best not to tell him that Franco is Jason's fraternal twin brother. At least, not until she can confirm that the baby that she is carrying is Jason's, not Franco's.


Dear readers, I confess that I'm a bit peeved with how this storyline is unfolding. The minute that Kelly Lee told Sam and Jason that the paternity test indicated that Jason was the father, it seemed like Sam was magically cured of the trauma of being raped. She happily embraced her husband, and didn't even flinch when he whisked her up the stairs to make love to her.


Even now, Sam is more upset by the prospect of the baby's father being Franco's than about being raped by a serial killer. This is such a disservice to women everywhere who struggle for years to deal with the devastating effects of rape. The focus of this storyline should be Sam dealing with the rape, not Jason learning that he had a diabolical twin brother who was -- gasp -- a serial killer.


My favorite exchange this week happened between Sam and John. It underscored just how delusional Sam is about Jason.


Sam: "He [Franco] had this twisted idea that he and Jason were somehow alike, but he couldn't have been further from the truth."
John: "Well, he [Jason] is a mob enforcer."
Sam: "Jason would never deliberately hurt someone."


Oh really, Sam? What about all those people that Jason killed on Sonny's orders?


I can't deny that Kelly Monaco and Michael Easton have chemistry, but I don't think that the timing is right for these two characters to hook up. If that is where this storyline is headed, then I would prefer that Sam not be pregnant with Jason's child. There's something a bit icky about embarking on an affair when you are pregnant, and still a newlywed.


Back to the story, I do appreciate that Sam is terrified about Jason's reaction to hearing that Sam's rapist was his twin brother, and that the baby might still be Franco's, but keeping it from Jason until she has more answers is not going to make things better. What if the paternity test confirms that Franco is indeed the father? How does Sam think that Jason is going to react to that, knowing that she once again kept secrets from him?


I don't think that Jason and Sam would be able to weather that kind of betrayal, especially after what Sam did when Robin died. My hope is that on Monday, Sam realizes that keeping the truth from Jason will blow up in her face, so she decides to come clean. I really don't think that Jason would turn his back on Sam and the baby, even if it turned out to be Franco's child. Jason has never been one to punish the child for the sins of the father. However, he would walk out if he felt that he was with someone who didn't respect or trust him, or had such little faith in their marriage and his commitment to her.


Elsewhere, Michael opened his home to Starr, who is camping out on his sofa. I'm curious how many people found Starr to be slightly more tolerable this week versus last week when she was shaking her fist in the air, and vowing to make Sonny pay for killing Hope and Cole?


I like Starr, but she has not been shown in a sympathetic light since losing her child and first love. There is a marked difference between the way her grief is being written and the way that Patrick's is being handled. Starr and Patrick each lost loved ones, suddenly and tragically, yet my heart absolutely bleeds for Patrick when he's on my screen. His pain is palpable. Starr's? Not so much. I think that it's because, since arriving, she's been scowling, glaring, and snapping at people.


Starr is so angry and eager to blame someone for what happened, that I find myself gnashing my teeth and wanting to throttle her. Hasn't she done even a cursory Internet search on Anthony? If she had, then she would know that there is good reason to question anything that Anthony says, especially about Sonny.


I know that they found a gun in Kate's office, but to my knowledge the gun hasn't exactly been traced to Sonny. They didn't find any fingerprints on it, DNA, or anything else to suggest that Sonny owned it or handled it. Starr, of all people, should appreciate how easy it is for someone to be framed. Practically every single one of her family members has been in that situation a time or two in their lives.


That said, this week was the first time that I had a smidgen of true sympathy for Starr. It occurred when Starr and Michael were talking over breakfast, and Michael complimented her on her cooking skills. Starr started to explain that motherhood had forced her to learn to cook, but then she stopped mid-sentence, because she realized that she would not be making any more meals for her little girl.


It's moments like those that speak to me. Having lost several family members, I know how grief works, so I know that it's those little things that can tear you apart.


Patrick is proof that sometimes, less is truly more. We don't have to see floodgates, shouting, and anger to illustrate how profound and deep his loss is. Sometimes, more can be said with the trembling lip than with a long-winded speech.


Elsewhere in Port Charles we have Steve reconnecting with Mommy Dearest, Heather. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who is feeling that cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs vibe from Heather. Not even for a second do I believe that that woman is anywhere close to being sane. She's simply less insane at the moment. Of all people, you'd think that Steve would appreciate that.


Steve has had to deal with his crazy mother his entire life. Heather's particular form of insanity often allows her to pass for sane during extended stretches of time, so the fact that she was able to pass a few tests, designed to gauge someone's sanity, doesn't mean diddly to me, nor should it to Steve.


I know that Steve is giving his mother the benefit of the doubt, because of his own personal guilt, but it's completely reckless of him to agree to take responsibility for Heather.


Note to Steve: Heather was, is, and will always be a lunatic.


By the way, make sure to check out Dan's interview with the fabulous Ms. Robin Mattson, who was a guest on this week's Soap Central Live.


She dropped a lot of juicy hints about what will be coming up, but worry not, she didn't spoil us with details.


Before I sign off, I'd like to mention a few things that made me go hmmm this week. For example, how did Heather get Steve's cell phone number? Is there a cell phone directory that I'm not aware of?


Also, how did Heather get that circa 1980s phone at Ferncliff to work without the cord that connected the handset to the base? Does this mean that, in a pinch, Heather can also use two tin cans and a string to call people? Apparently being married to the future MacGyver came with some perks.


Moving on, where in blazes did Kate pick up a copy of that book titled: Oh yes they D.I.D! An unauthorized biography of Victoria Lord and Jessica Buchanan? And why was she reading the hardback version instead of downloading it onto her Kindle, Nook, or Tablet? Isn't she supposed to be a fashionista, who has all the latest and greatest?


I'm also curious why the names on the book that Kate was reading were misspelled. It's Viki and Niki, not Vicki and Nicki. Oh, and that was a picture of Bess, not Tess. Tess was the slutty personality who wore lots of red lipstick and liked big '80s hair, while Bess was the bun-wearing, sensible-shoes kinda gal.


Isn't there someone on the set who is responsible for making sure that these kinds of things don't happen? If not, there should be. It's hard to take someone seriously, or believe that they are sane, when they are talking into a phone that isn't connected to anything.


Reader Spotlight


Many readers are still weighing in on the issue of Carly circumventing Sam's wishes by telling Jason about Robin's death:
  • You hit the nail on the head with noting the boundaries comment made by Ewen (my favorite "A-ha") because a lot if blame is placed on Carly and her inability to let Jason be... but ultimately its Jason who's always had more control over the Jarly friendship, and he chooses not to change it -- Why isn't Sam holding him accountable for that? Carly is Carly but she only has the power to disrupt the Jasam relationship because Jason and Sae have given it to her. - Zee

  • When it comes to Sam I am equally annoyed at how she is acting when it comes to not telling Jason. It is almost more about her being able to make these decisions now than it is about her protecting him. She has been waiting so long to say "I am his wife!" that she now has to say it in every conversation with every person she comes in contact with. I am so sick of hearing this from her!! I do agree with you to a certain extent that spouse trumps friend but at the same time I believe you go into a relationship or marriage with prior knowledge of other relationships in your spouse's life. I don't think it is fair that now Sam wants to cut Carly out of his life so much. She has known from day one Carly is part of the package and Jason will never her turn her away. If she couldn't handle that she should have never married Jason. - Nicole

  • A thought about Sam's unwisely having kept Robin's death from Jason...I read recently that Michael Easton and Kelly Monaco played a couple in whatever show it was in which his character was a vampire. What if it's planned that a new problem in Sam and Jason's marriage will lead to her growing close to John McBain? - Kay K.

  • Sam has been Jason's lover for years; did she not realize that what she's doing by not being truthful with him -- because he's not in condiition to make decisions for himself (WTF?) thus treating him as a child, is EXACTLY the reason he left the Quartermaine's? - Monique

  • As for Carly, I do not believe for one minute that she told Jason because she thought he needed to know about Robin. Carly told Jason because she's a spiteful shrew who just wants to stir up mess in Jason and Sam's life. Carly (theoretically anyway) isn't first in Jason's life anymore and she can't stand that. - Kristy

Viewers are sticklers for details too:
  • I said the SAME THING about Jason being in his black t-shirt after surgery! Does no one wear a hospital gown anymore?! Somebody should start paying attention to these things. Editing people...EDITING! - Karen

  • Jason in his t shirt and jeans after surgery was spot on. Also Jason goes into surgery and Sam has no baby bump, he comes out and like you said Sam is 6 months pregnant. How ridiculous!! I wanted to scream. I guess the baby bump is kind of like when they age kids - one day they're 10 and the next 18. - Annette

Theories abound about who has Robin, and why:
  • Robin was diagnosed with a terminal illness stemming from her HIV so the explosion was her way to die with dignity and make Patrick go on with his life. Unfortunately someone (Faison) got wind of her plan and abducted her instead. He'll threaten her family if Robin doesn't help him with his medical illness. - Joseph G

  • It could be Caesar, like you said, but I think Lisa Niles is alive, and she's the one who snatched Robin. - Becky D

  • What about Helena? Wasn't she just lurking around Port Charles? Kidnapping people from fiery deaths is right up her alley. - Joyce K

The Kate/Connie D.I.D. storyline has people talking:
  • Still not buying the quick transformation from Kate to Connie. This is the fastest role reversal for this disorder I've ever seen. The "turn on a dime" scenario is just not ringing true for me. Maybe as time goes on but right now it seems forced somewhat. - Nonniepat

  • The Kate/Connie storyline is funny, so I hope they keep it light. I kinda like Connie, so I want to see her stick around. she's more interesting than Kate. - Lisa

  • What's with the sudden history rewrite? There was never any indication that Kate was a tramp or schemer when she dated Sonny in Bensonhurst. Olivia spent endless hours complaining how "Connie" always acted like she was better than the rest of the Falconeris and that she was a goody-two shoes. There's no need to change Kate's past to make this storyline work. - Betsy
I want to extend a big thank you to everyone who took the time to email me with your thoughts. I enjoyed reading all of your emails, so please keep them coming.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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