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About the Two Scoops section
General Hospital opinion columns from 2011
Love a storyline? Want to throw the remote at the screen during others? Our Two Scoops columnists feel the same way. Each week, they provided their own commentary on the action in the Two Scoops column.
Every week, our Two Scoops columnists share their thoughts and opinions in the Two Scoops commentary columns. Those columns are archived to allow fans a chance to make sure that they've read every opinion for every week. This archive features columns written about General Hospital in the 2011 calendar year.


To access columns from other years or to review columns for other soaps, please see the Two Scoops Archive links in the Related Information section at the footer of this. Or to view a listing of all years for which columns are available, simply click here.

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January 3, 2011
I'll suspend disbelief until the cows come home. Give me Casey the Alien from Lumina. Give me Helena's secret lair under the hospital where she has cryogenically frozen her son for 20 years and then thaws him out. Give me a batch of faulty ELQ Enduro condoms and let the entire female population of Port Charles gets pregnant on one bad batch.
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January 10, 2011
I'll suspend disbelief until the cows come home. Give me Casey the Alien from Lumina. Give me Helena's secret lair under the hospital where she has cryogenically frozen her son for 20 years and then thaws him out. Give me a batch of faulty ELQ Enduro condoms and let the entire female population of Port Charles gets pregnant on one bad batch.
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January 17, 2011
There is a certain camaraderie among people who watch soaps. Maybe more like a secret society. When people find out I am a soap columnist, they whisper to me in hushed tones about their own shameful soap viewing habit. Professional people who think being a fan of daytime drama would make people take them less seriously, or are slightly embarrassed that they enjoy such lowly entertainment.
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January 24, 2011
I'm not talking about the little things that make us all scratch our heads, like why Brenda can't find shirts with sleeves that aren't too long for her, or why Chief-of-Staff Steven Webber doesn't have an office and has to do job interviews at the nurses' station. No, I'm talking about the essential elements that make soaps magical.
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January 31, 2011
People have opinions. Especially about other people's lives. Make any decision and watch the world line up to tell you that you're doing it wrong or how your choice is a mistake. Oftentimes this happens with relationships. 'Why is she with him?' 'What does he see in her?' How many times have you asked that question, or heard someone ask it? Probably plenty.
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February 7, 2011
What an emotional week! For the past five days, General Hospital was at its best. It represented the potential daytime drama has always had but hasn't often delivered. I'm specifically speaking of Michael's painful admission. For months, the writers have dropped subtle clues that Michael suffered more than a beating at the hands of Carter while in Pentonville Prison.
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February 14, 2011
There are people who like to watch things over. My husband is one of them. He will watch his favorite movies over and over. He watched Groundhog Day on DVD last week and he's probably seen it 100 times. There are people who enjoy watching Nick at Night and Hulu and watching "classic" episodes of Happy Days or The Nanny. I am not one of those people.
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February 21, 2011
I hope that everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day filled with chocolates, flowers, and lots of love. I can't help but wonder how Mr. and Mrs. Balkan spent it. Or is it Mr. and Mrs. Stanwyck? Or perhaps it's Mr. and Mrs. Janacek? Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter because the point is: SUZANNE AND THE BALKAN ARE MARRIED!!!
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February 28, 2011
Every girl who dates Jason, Sonny, and Johnny must be singing that song in their heart. If you date a mobster, chances are you'll end up as collateral damage. So learn that Bruno Mars song fast, ladies.
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March 7, 2011
Sam McCall is a force of nature. Not even a car bomb can take her out. Maybe she's got some of that Charlie Sheen 'tiger blood' running through her veins. Or maybe she's just lucky that she happened to be blown up in a limo that was bomb-proofed for Sonny Corinthos. And by lucky, I mean finally getting a storyline that isn't about her leaving the room or working on some off-screen case with Spinelli.
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March 14, 2011
The evil Theo injected Brenda with what he described as a new and rare neurotoxin. Sonny and his posse rescued Brenda and took her to the hospital where Patrick, a brain surgeon, and Robin, an expert on drug therapy, decided on an antidote with which to inject Brenda without calling someone who was, let's say, a poison expert.
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March 21, 2011
I imagine that there wasn't a dry eye around as the lullaby, Baby Mine, played during the final scenes of General Hospital on Friday. I wept, but beneath all that sadness was anger. Anger at whomever had thought that killing off one or, possibly, two legacy characters would be a good idea.
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March 28, 2011
Baby Josslyn Jacks was diagnosed with cancer, which required a kidney transplant or chemo. Toddler Jake Webber was playing in the street and was run down by a presumably drunk driver. Jake dies. Josslyn gets his organs. Hmm…why does that sound so familiar?
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April 4, 2011
Luke Spencer has always liked his scotch. And his vodka, and his bourbon, and his tequila. As viewers, we've watched Luke throw back drinks on a daily basis, the way most people drink water. For years, drinking has been Luke's character quirk, much like Jason's stone-cold stare or Spinelli's incessant babbling.
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April 11, 2011
Is it just me, or is anyone else already sick of hearing Brenda say 'Lucian?' The kid is adorable, and Carly nailed it when she said he looked like Sonny -- apparently Alexander was some sort of Sonny clone, but cuteness aside, I see the inklings of a lame storyline ahead.
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April 18, 2011
It's time to rally the troops. You heard me. Get out your smart phones. Start texting and emailing. Hit the social network sites. Hire a skywriter. Heck, go old school and pick up a telephone. I don't care how you do it, but get out there and tell anyone who will listen to start watching General Hospital, and do it now.
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April 25, 2011
I'm in love with soaps. I've watched them for 30-plus years. I've written about them for nearly eight years. I tweet them, Facebook them, stand in line to meet actors, promote people connected to them, talk on Soap Central Live about them, answer dozens of emails about them. I love Daytime Drama.
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May 2, 2011
There are plenty of folks in Port Charles that could use an intervention: Jason for his black t-shirt addiction, Lisa for her Patrick obsession, and Spinelli for his computer usage, to name a few. But Luke Spencer is the most ideal candidate for an intervention that GH has ever seen. And wow, did it turn out to be one tough hour, not just for Luke, but for viewers, as well.
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May 9, 2011
It is Mother's Day in Port Charles and sadly, many of the residents receive cards or flowers in praise of their parenting skills. First up is Elizabeth, who, with three young active boys, did not close her front door and has still not learned that lesson -- it was open again on last Friday's episode when she was home alone.
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May 16, 2011
Oh, Suzanne, why did she bring a knife to a gunfight? We all know Suzanne has mad skills with that switchblade that she used to dissect Brenda's wedding dress and Theo's jugular. But taking on Port Charles' biggest mobster, and an armed cop, with only a knife, is ridiculous, even for her. Who does she think she is, Luke Spencer?
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May 23, 2011
When I heard that GH was bringing Vanessa Marcil back, I was delighted. I loved the Sonny/Brenda/Jax triangle, loved the history of the characters, loved Brenda's adversarial but loving relationship with Jason, loved the way Brenda softens Robin into a likeable character -- I had high hopes.
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May 30, 2011
For the most part, I enjoy change in my life as much as I enjoy a root canal. I still haven't recovered from the loss of Santa Barbara and Another World, if that tells you anything. But sometimes change is not only good, it's a necessity, in order to survive. And that's what's happening behind the scenes at General Hospital.
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June 6, 2011
Some of you follow me on Twitter, and if you do, you'll know I got a little tweet crazy this week about what I'd do if I were the new General Hospital writer.
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June 13, 2011
General Hospital fans, I fear the writing is on the wall. Last week's announcement that ABC is giving the GH 3:00 p.m. timeslot to Katie Couric's new talk show in September 2012 seems a harbinger of things to come. But I'm not giving up, and neither should you.
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June 20, 2011
As any of you in business know -- the best-laid plans sometimes fail soundly, and the only way you can reach your intended goal is to take on the attitude of a GPS and readjust your route.
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June 27, 2011
Somebody pinch me. It's like someone read my wish list for things I want to see changed on General Hospital, waved a magic wand, and made it happen last week.
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July 4, 2011
If you missed Thursday's GH, stop reading my column and go watch it because I don't want you to read these words until you've felt them. I want you to watch this scene and feel this speech pack the wallop with which it will most assuredly hit you.
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July 11, 2011
Jasper Jacks may want to get his jet ready for takeoff. He didn't flinch at Sonny's brutal threat this week, but I did. If Jax doesn't drop this custody suit against Carly, I fear he soon will meet the sharp end of a meat hook, courtesy of Sonny.
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July 18, 2011
I started making a mental tally of this week's GH violence, but I may have lost count. Let's start at the whorehouse: Lupe's murder, Lulu seemingly about to be raped by Javier, and Dante's abduction by whorehouse goons. In Port Charles, Jax is being drugged, framed for rape, and arrested; on the docks, Spinelli, er…I mean Jackal P.I. pulled a gun on Anthony, who then wrestled Jackal P.I.'s gun away and threatened to kill Spinelli.
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July 25, 2011
Readers, you will be pleased to know that the reign of terror over our beloved show is nearly over. Just one more poison-filled episode written by evil overlord Bob Guza. Okay, that's extremely harsh, possibly uncalled for, and I suppose some of you actually love his writing.
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August 1, 2011
There's a chill in the air in Port Charles, despite the blistering heat. Evil is lurking around every corner, and I couldn't be happier. That's right. I'm embracing the dark side.
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August 8, 2011
With the previews of GH this week that showed Jason Morgan unconscious in a hospital bed, after a car accident, my mind starting going places it shouldn't with storyline ideas. This latest development has me tripping like Lucky Spencer on a pill high.
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August 15, 2011
This, dear readers, is what life looks like... Someone in your family gets into a car accident, and your family gathers at the hospital and bickers about how to best treat your injuries. It's relatable. It's real. And, thanks to new head writer Garin Wolf, it's now part of the fabric of General Hospital. Fewer mob wars, and more relationship-driven storylines.
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August 22, 2011
Sonny Corinthos needs to take a chill pill. Literally. A few weeks ago, as he was smashing his apartment to bits and calling Brenda a 'bitch,' I was unclear as to whether he had taken his bipolar medication, or if he was just angrily reacting to Brenda leaving him. It seems clear now that Sonny is off his meds.
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August 29, 2011
Two of the most potent words in the English language are 'What if?' What if this had happened, or if that had happened? How would things have turned out if I'd opened door A instead of door B? GH posed many of these questions to us in Friday's episode. Could you imagine Jason as a clean-cut, tie-wearing, coke-snorting GH Chief of Staff?
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September 5, 2011
I think holster sales must be up in Port Charles, because two Fridays have come and gone, and we haven't seen the typical gun-battle Friday cliffhangers we've become accustomed to on General Hospital.
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September 12, 2011
As you might have noticed, my column is late. It's late because some Homer Simpson-ish employee pulled the wrong switch somewhere in Arizona and took out power to most of the Southwest. When the power came back on, the surge blew up my wireless router and I am still, five days later, without wireless Internet.
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September 19, 2011
I'm a bad girl. Instead of starting out this column raving about how much I adored every delightful scene on General Hospital this week -- which I did, and I'll get to that shortly -- I'm taking a minute to object to a major storyline development.
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September 26, 2011
James Franco dancing around in his creepy death studio with Sam's empty wedding dress while freaky nightmare- inducing wind up monkeys clash symbols together was soap camp villainy at its finest.
Genie Francis
October 3, 2011
Paintings crying, secret passageways, and plenty of discussion about Laura Spencer. What new mystery is unfolding at the Cassadine mansion, and could it result in the return of a fan favorite?
Nathan Parsons
October 10, 2011
It's funny how a good storyline can make you change the way you feel about a character. That's what happened to our Two Scoops columnist, Liz Masters, when it comes to Ethan. Find out what caused the switch in this week's column!
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October 17, 2011
Recasts, rapid aging, new directions. There are a lot of reasons for casting changes, but that doesn't mean that every casting change is a good change. This week, our Two Scoop columnist talks about just that.
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October 24, 2011
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. No, the week's Two Scoops hasn't been taken over by Gilligan and the castaways, but there are a few similarities between that classic sitcom and General Hospital. Check out this week's shipshape column and see why!
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October 31, 2011
Lisa was written off for a period of time, but them she came back with a vengeance. But what about now? Is Lisa Niles dead or alive? Two Scoops Jennifer Biller tries to get the bottom of the mystery.
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November 7, 2011
When the SORAS'ed Kristina arrived on set and asked Jason if he wanted to hook up it absolutely creeped me out.
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November 14, 2011
In another controversial storyline, Franco terrorizes Jason, Sam, and viewers with his mind games. Have the writers finally stepped over the line, and is it time for Franco to be written out permanently?
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November 21, 2011
Dark and dangerous love triangles, haunting mysteries, and an uncertainty about which characters are coming and which ones are going are just some of the reasons our Two Scoops columnist is racing to get home every day.
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November 28, 2011
Some things never change -- and that's necessarily a bad thing. Thanksgiving is a special time in Port Charles with annual dates, bickering, and pizza. That reminds our Two Scooper of something important: Never invite Jason Morgan to a meal!
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December 5, 2011
Forget about the on-screen, all the action at General Hospital is taking place behind the scenes. Executive producer Jill Farren Phelps and head writer Garin Wolf are out -- and two exes from One Life to Live are in. What does that mean for the show? And what about the departure of Villian #1 Brian Frons? Find out in Two Scoops!
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December 12, 2011
Firings, hirings, and cast shakeups rock General Hospital. Can changes bring back viewers -- and put the rest those pesky cancellation rumors? Our Two Scoops columnist, Jennifer, weighs in.
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December 19, 2011
Jealousy, insanity, narcissism, death, murder... No, those aren't the names of Santa's new reindeer, but they are some of the things takeing place in Port Charles. It's not exactly the sort of thing that makes the season merry, but it does make for a good Two Scoops.
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December 26, 2011
It's time for a two-part look back at the best and worst of General Hospital in 2011. In this week's column, Jennifer Biller offers her thoughts on the highs and lows of the year gone by.

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