Readers, you will be pleased to know that the reign of terror over our beloved show is nearly over. Just one more poison-filled episode written by evil overlord Bob Guza. Okay, that's extremely harsh, possibly uncalled for, and I suppose some of you actually love his writing. However, this is my column and my opinion -- so I'm taking the liberty to express it in this column.
I loathe the stupid pen of Bob Guza. He has held GH hostage for years and turned it into a virtually romance-free, violent mob-fest, despite loud objections from fans and viewers leaving in droves. Certainly there have been good storylines in his years of writing -- I can't say I hated everything he wrote, or I wouldn't still be watching the show. I know he wrote some really exciting and beautiful things over the past decade.
What I take issue with is his destruction of key characters and core families. So many fan favorites were killed off that it left the show hardly recognizable to longtime viewers like myself. The past week seemed to be a last act of an angry man. One of my Twitter followers, @tashapork wrote, "I wonder if he got mad when he found out that he was getting fired and decided to take it out on the fans by trashing characters."
Yeah, I wonder that, too. We witnessed Sonny, Jax, Brenda, Spinelli, and various other characters do things they would never have previously done, and we were left with unhappy endings in nearly every storyline. Even little things like Maxie dropping Sam's engagement ring so the long-awaited romantic moment was celebrated with…a lug nut. Seriously? If I were Jason, I would have made Maxie go outside and crawl around in the bushes until she found that million-dollar diamond.
But, only Monday's episode remains, and then I am extremely hopeful about the future of GH. I have read a few interviews with Garin Wolf, and the fact that he respects GH history so much, and mourned the demise of core characters as much as the rest of us did, makes me inclined to trust him with our beloved show.
If Garin Wolf comes in and pulls the Dallas "It was all a dream" thing, and Alan, AJ, Emily, Justus, and Georgie come back to life, Ned comes back from Jacarta, Lois comes back from the L&B Music Fest, Anna shows up to say she is sorry that her super-spy self didn't come and rescue her daughter when she was being stalked by maniac Lisa -- whatever insanity Mr. Wolf has to use to get the show back on track -- I give him all the grace in the world.
I already know for sure that both Ingo Rademacher and Tyler Christopher will be back soon because Garin Wolf was dissatisfied with their exits and wants to give them a chance to wrap up their storylines more thoroughly. But frankly, I hope they both stick around. With Helena back on canvas, it only makes sense for Nikolas to be around because he's the reason she's always lurking about.
On the down side, ABC has recast the role of Kate Howard. I don't understand that at all. Megan Ward is beloved by her fans. Virtually everyone I've ever heard from adores Megan Ward. I get thousands of letters about GH, and people have all sorts of opinions and are happy to tell me when they dislike an actor -- but I've never heard any negative feedback about Megan Ward. Nonetheless, the role has been recast with Kelly Sullivan. I don't know her, I am unfamiliar with her work, but I wish her the best. But still -- why fire Megan Ward? Anyone have an idea?
If Megan Ward cost too much and they were looking for ways to trim the budget -- they could cut Erin Chambers and send Siobhan back to the Emerald Isle. I never disliked Siobhan until recently, but her deep-seated hatred and anger against Elizabeth infuriates me. Elizabeth just lost a child, lost Nikolas from her life, and can't be with Lucky, and I feel sad for Elizabeth and want Siobhan to stop being mean to her. I know that's ridiculous, but I wish she was real so I could call the INS and report her fake green card marriage and get her deported.
I do have to agree with Siobhan on one thing -- there is no way on earth that any hospital would invite a nurse who nearly killed someone in surgery last week to come back to work already. That's just insanity. "Hey, I know you're incompetent and gave a patient the wrong meds, but our phones are ringing off the hook and we need you!"
I'm sure it's just the first of many brilliant acts by new Chief of Staff Robin "I still look twelve" Scorpio-Drake. My hope here is that one of Robin's choices will go crazily awry, and Monica will have to reclaim the job. That way, Monica gets to work every week, and GH has someone with sense running the joint. Robin left her baby in a tree. Just sayin'.
I must give credit to the GH props department for making the rooftop set so romantic for Jason and Sam's proposal scene. I know there is a Jason/Liz and Jason/Sam debate, but Jason and Sam are a good love match, in my humble opinion. I am happy for them, and hope they actually are able to get married without any car bombs, kidnappings, or gunfire interrupting their ceremony.
Readers, I also want Spinelli back. You know, the dorky computer nerd with the amazing vocabulary, fast-paced speaking, shy but beautiful heart, kind to a fault? I love that guy. Jackal P.I. is an ass. Having Spinelli wake up as his alter ego was funny for about a day, but now, weeks later, I find myself rolling my eyes every time I see him. Please, make it stop.
Since Matt Hunter (Jason Cook) is leaving GH soon, maybe Maxie will cheat on Matt with Jackal P.I. and turn him back into Damian Spinelli. That would definitely be in character for Maxie.
It's also in character for Helena to chat up a new piece of man meat and try to seduce them, but how many weeks of vacation does Dante get from the Port Charles Police Department? He spent two weeks at the whorehouse with Lulu, and now is getting hired on as a bodyguard for Helena.
First, the way Helena watches the Spencer family like a hawk, I find it hard to believe that she wouldn't already know that Dante was Lulu's boyfriend. Second, if Lulu had half a brain and knew her family's history, she wouldn't put Dante in Helena's proximity. After all, Helena could erase Dante's brain and make him stop loving Lulu like she did to Lucky with Liz.
Lucky, of course, doesn't know the trouble his sister is courting. He is instead calling his old drug dealer, presumably to work on a case. Now that this story is Garin Wolf's to write, I hope we don't get the standard "addict falls off the wagon" story. I'd like to see Lucky be seriously tempted, but resist. But, I know whatever is written for Jonathan Jackson, he will hit it out of the park; he always does.
Lucky's cousin Carly has full custody of Josslyn now, and NotMorgan (seriously, I will never let that go; I loved Aaron Refvem and the recast still makes me angry every time Morgan is present.) But with Jax gone, will Carly run back to Sonny's bed, or set her sites on someone new? I've heard rumors that since Robin is being such a shrew as chief of staff that Carly and Patrick are going to buddy up -- that could cause a hurricane in Port Charles.
The romance I'd really love to see is Helena and Anthony. The forces of evil unite for all sorts of creepy plots. Imagine if Anthony knew about Helena's secret underground cryogenic lab and secretly had Claudia frozen down there! I seriously love wildly absurd soap plots.
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Guza's last episode Monday reveal that Sam is a transvestite and Edward is secretly in the mob? Will Kristina apply for a job at ELQ, since Michael and Ethan both have ties to Edward, and she needs someplace to wear her hip new wardrobe other than the docks? Will Josslyn get even cuter? Will Brenda find Suzanne when she goes back to Rome and say, "You were right and I was wrong"? Will we all like GH more a month from now than we do today?