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 Two Scoops: April 11, 2011 columns
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The "L" word
For the Week of April 11, 2011
Is it just me, or is anyone else already sick of hearing Brenda say 'Lucian?' The kid is adorable, and Carly nailed it when she said he looked like Sonny -- apparently Alexander was some sort of Sonny clone, but cuteness aside, I see the inklings of a lame storyline ahead.
Is it just me, or is anyone else already sick of hearing Brenda say "Lucian"? The kid is adorable, and Carly nailed it when she said he looked like Sonny -- apparently Alexander was some sort of Sonny clone, but cuteness aside, I see the inklings of a lame storyline ahead.

My predictions… (Note, I have no hard facts to base any of these speculations upon, just 30 years of soap viewing and a few clues from the GH contract world.)

Lucian will be Brenda's child; he's not a fake. Brenda won't want to raise her son in the mob, causing conflict between Sonny and Brenda. Brenda will turn to Jax for support. The two of them will reconnect, ride off in the sunset with Lucian, and Carly will have a fling with Shawn to get over losing Jax, or maybe even to mourn Josslyn, because I fear they will kill her off, knowing Jax would never leave his child behind.

Why would I guess such preposterous things? 1) Vanessa Marcil said her time at GH was almost over, and her contract is up in September. 2) Ingo Rademacher has had greatly reduced screen time and the rumor is he is the next person to be axed on the tails of Tyler Christopher. 3) They just put the actor who plays Shawn Butler on a long-term contract.

So, taking those three seemingly unrelated facts into consideration, I came up with my predictions. Check back in September to see if I'm right.

I briefly mentioned Tyler Christopher but want to explore his firing in more depth. Here are three reasons this is a bad idea 1) He's a Cassadine -- his leaving gives Alexis no family in town, and Helena, possibly GH's best all-time arch villain, no reason to visit. 2) He's a Spencer. Lucky and Lulu's brother. Laura's son. Luke's thorn in the flesh. 3) He's a prince in a town fill of mobsters, and we need at least one person in Port Charles who isn't a promiscuous brain surgeon or a misunderstood hit man.

In a very moving scene this week, Lucky and Nikolas reconciled. Lucky reassured Nikolas that in spite of all the ugliness that has passed between them, they are brothers, and told Nikolas he loved him. That scene could be the beginning of great things for these two characters who are dripping with history, but instead, the Powers That Be have opted to send Tyler Christopher packing over budget constraints.

ABC, much like the Federal Government, can't seem to make the right choices to meet their budgetary demands. Don't cut core characters and then hire the likes of Abby, Lisa, Terrell, Brandon, and other minor characters. I can't say that I speak for the entire soap viewing world, but I personally would rather see the writers write strong stories for the few remaining core characters than bring in a parade of characters I don't know or care about.

Even though I write this column and rightfully should watch every minute of GH, I confess to you, dear readers, that I fast-forwarded almost every Abby/Brandon-related scene. I'm glad he's dead, I don't care who killed him, and if we have to sit through another trial where Jason or Michael is falsely accused of his murder, I'll scream. If Abby did it, and she ends up in Lady Pentonville, oh well.

The actors continue to save the show, pouring their hearts and souls into whatever storylines they are given, and cranking out scene after scene of heartwrenching work. Through the tragedy of Jake's death, Lucky and Jason are both throwing themselves into their respective lines of work, while Luke is spiraling out of control, filled with self-loathing and anger.

Everyone in town has been by to see Luke, but he can't hear them; even Nikolas, who doesn't particularly like Luke, tried to reach out to him on Lucky's behalf. But Luke is convinced that "luck" has left him and that there is no redemption. His self-destructive behavior is true to form and reminds me of the Luke that Laura tried to save years ago. This would be a perfect time for ABC to have brought back Genie Francis to reach out to Luke, to help her son grieve over his loss -- and to not even mention that she exists is just wrong.

For me, it's all about story, and those of us who have been around the block for a while know how this story should have been told. If your son's child dies, you show up. Someone noted that ABC can't bring back Monica or Bobbie because they've had plastic surgery... So, you think Joan Rivers' family doesn't let her come to family funerals because she's messed up her face? I mean seriously, that's no reason to tell a bad story, is it?

But enough of that -- my whining won't change anything. Luke is torching the Haunted Star, Lucky and Jason are butting heads over Brandon's murder, and apparently Elizabeth has gone underground. We'll just have to see how it pans out.

The one breath of fresh air for Luke was Ethan -- he might be the only character in town who sees the world the way Luke does and can relate to Luke's worldview. Finding someone who sees the world through the same lens you do is a precious gift.

Lucky is ready to reexamine a wedding to Siobhan -- but seriously, if my name was Lucky, I'd be looking at the omens. If in the middle of your first wedding to someone you get a call that your child had been run down, would you really try to marry them again? Not me.

Robin and Patrick are reconciled, but Lisa isn't going to give up without a fight or at least another crazy meltdown. I still can't get past the week Lisa was waving a gun around and ended up in the mental hospital but was back at work on Monday, but they still want us to take her seriously as a character. While I love Brianna Brown and think she does great work, I'm not invested in Lisa's character because they've never made an effort to redeem her or even have her realize she needs redemption. She just keeps stalking Patrick and probably won't stop. Kristina should be smarter after all she's been through, but clearly she isn't -- if I were babysitting and someone I barely knew stopped by for some random reason, I would know that was creepy. But, that's what we are expected to accept.

Lisa and Johnny don't hold a candle to Johnny and Olivia, but Olivia has gone M.I.A. I miss Lisa LoCicero's spunk and sass on the show; Olivia's personality livened up the joint, and it's a shame to see her get so little airtime.

Same with Nancy Lee Grahn as the quirky Alexis Davis. She's barely around these days. Why doesn't ABC say to its staff, "We have X amount of money to spend on payroll. We need to either cut everyone's salary a little bit, or fire ten of you." I'm guessing the staff would agree to a pay cut rather than being outright fired. That way they could stick to their budget, tell decent stories, and stop writing to make their budget work.

For the actors' protection, they could add a clause like, "As soon as ABC regains X amount of profit, the salaries will return to their former level" so the actors don't get shut out when the economy turns around again.

Just an idea.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Suzanne show up with another kid and tell Brenda she had twins? Will someone take Luke up on his offer to lap the spilled liquor off the floor of the Haunted Star before it burns down? Will Sam get pregnant just to shut Carly up? Will anyone ever notice Morgan is missing? Will anyone ever notice Molly is missing? Will Lisa let herself into Robin's with the key she stole to look for her missing earring? Will Elizabeth ever tell Lucky that Aiden is his son? Will Siobhan drop her fake Irish accent and admit she's an undercover WSB agent? Will all the GH fans move to Y&R now that both Robert Scorpio and Laura Spencer are in Genoa City?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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