Readers, you're going to want to set up your Tivo. If you don't have a Tivo, plan to be home all week. So much is going to happen on GH the next few weeks, you do not want to miss a single minute! You feel it building, you know it's coming; several major storylines are about to blow wide open -- so brace yourselves!
For instance, Elizabeth is about to give birth to a premature baby. We know Nikolas is not his real father, and Lucky lurks in the hallway. I was assuming they would go the usual route -- the baby is born too early, needs medical care, and the doctors realize Nikolas couldn't be the father.
But that's not going to happen! (At least not right away.) If you don't like spoilers, stop reading now and jump to the next paragraph. Are you gone yet? Seriously, stop reading… For those of you who do like spoilers -- Elizabeth's baby will be kidnapped. However, is the kidnapper going to be Crazy Granny Helena, or Charming but Psychotic Serial Killer Franco? The baby's bracelet is going to bear the numbers everyone has been focused on -- 66. But does that mean Franco is the culprit, or is it just another crafty ploy by Helena? Liz, Nik, and Lucky are going to team up to try to find the baby.
Okay, back to the safety zone for now. Dear readers, I took an impromptu poll on Twitter last week to see if I was the only one who was secretly digging Franco. I was NOT the only one. Many GH fans admitted that even though Franco is a seriously twisted serial killer, his role this time around is entertaining and engaging.
Soap villains are best when they're just evil for no discernable reason. Franco is just plain bad. He's mentally twisted. He kills for fun. He's horrible and yet so deliciously creepy and fun to watch. My favorite scene this week was when Franco taunted Lulu and mentioned how disappointed he was in her boyfriend for leaving her alone when a serial killer was on the loose. Franco then proceeded to tell Lulu about how he could pose her dead body after he killed her to immortalize her. "Who do I have to kill to get some attention around here?" he snarled. Sick! But… I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I bet James Franco is having a blast playing such a twisted character without all the Spiderman FX.
I'd also like to go on record to say that Lulu is an idiot. If a serial killer strapped you to a bomb just a few months earlier, wouldn't his reemergence in town cause you at least a little bit of fear? Would you have let Maxie leave you alone in the same exact office where said serial killer kidnapped you before? No, me either. Maybe next time the girl will be sufficiently frightened and insist on guards! Or better yet, stay at home!
Many of my Twitter followers offered theories on what the deal is with Franco and the creepy cymbal-playing monkey dolls. Here are the top three -- 1) There is a Steven King novel called The Monkey where every time the monkey clangs his cymbals, someone dies. 2) James Franco was in a movie about James Dean and a similar monkey doll is in that film, and they think it's a nod to that film. 3) There is a similar monkey doll in Phantom of the Opera, and the Phantom, also an "artist," was a killer. Anyone have any others to add, or want to vote on these three?
Dante is supposedly trying to catch Franco with Jason's help -- but Ronnie "I don't know when it's time to leave town" Domestico put Jason back in prison. There has been some healthy debate from viewers who suspect that Ronnie is Franco's brother. That's not a bad guess. Ronnie showing up out of the blue and arresting Jason gives credence to that theory because without Jason, Dante most likely can't catch Franco.
Also, Dante is the only one who knows Ronnie let Franco go on a previous crime, so if Dante goes after Franco alone and gets killed -- that ensures Ronnie's secret stays hidden. And, to point out another strange event, when Jason got back to Pentonville, there was a photo from Franco waiting for him in is cell. How did Franco know that Jason would be going back to prison without an inside tip? The evidence is starting to mount. On the other hand, Ronnie might just be an arrogant jerk who is accidentally playing into Franco hands. What are your thoughts, readers? Do you think Ronnie is in cahoots with Franco?
But no worries, Jason is going to be back on the outside soon with another deal from Claire. While Lucky, Nikolas, and Elizabeth are trying to track down Helena and NuBaby, Jason and Dante will be heading on a road trip to L.A., where they believe Franco's next Route 66 themed murders will take place.
Kind of a shame the only two cops who ever do anything will be out of town, because mayhem is brewing right within the Port Charles city limits, too. Warren Bauer is on the edge of madness over Kiefer's death and filled with revenge. He's hellbent on making Alexis and Kristina pay for Kiefer's death. And let's just say the man has some serious rage issues. There was a reason Kiefer was messed up and that reason, as you've probably guessed, was his father. Hopefully Mac can hold down the fort in case Warren snaps while Lucky and Dante are on the chase. And trust me, he's going to snap.
Maxie and Spinelli's romance has ended. And not one to sulk for too long, especially when there's an emergency backup man in the wings like Matt, Maxie will continue to explore her feelings for Matt. This week, I tweeted that I understand Maxie completely. That's a dangerous thing to admit because she's awful and self-absorbed! But, really -- I totally get her. I fear that Spinelli will have a hard time focusing on catching serial killers and framing Dante in the midst of his heartbreak. He might need to hit some sauce a little harder than orange soda. Spinelli, Aunt Tammy recommends Patrón.
Sonny is embroiled in chaos as well; he is still denying he had anything to do with the bomb in Johnny's car. Sonny casually wondered if Lucky might look the other way and remove himself from the case. He wondered if the long friendship between their two families held any sway. Lucky's response to the request was priceless; "I am a cop and you're the Crime Lord of Port Charles." Well, that's that then.
Sonny is also dealing with the D.A. trying to seduce him (and don't forget she wants a baby SO bad…I can do the math). Also on Sonny's radar is anger over the fact that Jax just waltzed off to sea with his family. Readers, I have to ask the obvious question here -- don't you think Michael's ankle monitor will go off while he's out sailing?
I'm glad to see the Jacks family working through their issues, but I'm concerned. Jax is being an idiot right now taking advice on his marriage from Skye. First, it's obvious that Skye still has feelings for him herself, so he can't really trust her to act in the best interest of his marriage. Second, you should only take advice from people who are successful in the field in which they are advising you and that leaves out Skye. She is not successful at marriage, so her advice should serve only as a cautionary tale. Jax should probably do the exact opposite of what Skye suggests. Carly has finally realized she wants Jax back, and uttered the saddest line: "I never know what I want until I've ruined any chance of having it." -- Been there, lived that, Carly!
But I digress…In the Claire/Sonny "Who's Zoomin' Who?" game -- I wonder who will be the victor? Will Claire fall for Sonny for real and be the Baby Mama of the next Mob, Jr., or will she string Sonny along until he tells her all his mob secrets in the throes of passion. C'mon, we all know THAT won't happen. Claire looked genuinely flustered when Johnny caught her looking all moony-eyed at Sonny at Mob Pasta over a glass of red.
The next interesting turn in this story is that we're less than a month away from the return of Brenda. I believe Brenda was Sonny's one true love. Perhaps she will be the one to catch Claire wearing the wire this time, bringing her story full circle! If you missed Brenda the first time around, ABC will be airing a Brenda-themed marathon the day prior to Vanessa Marcil's return. For details, read the Soap Central article by clicking here.
Last but not least, the saga of Patrick, Robin, and the newly scorned Lisa. Readers, you haven't seen anything yet -- Lisa is going to get way more Fatal Attraction crazy before this storyline ends. Although Lisa will get all the blame for this, in truth, Patrick is just as guilty. She was dating Steven, and Patrick followed her around, interrupted their dates, and got visibly jealous. That's not how a happily married man acts, right? Not that she should have gone for it, just that Patrick isn't totally innocent in the situation.
One more thing -- a reader forwarded a video to me this week that's making the rounds on YouTube. The video is called "Why GH is Unbearable to Me." You can follow the link and share with me your opinion. Has the show become too Sonny/Dante centric as the video suggests? I'm curious to gauge how many people are on each side…
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Lucky have to shave off his oddly placed facial hair to go undercover in disguise and find the missing NuBaby? Will I win money for betting that they name the baby Shirley? Will Maxie and Lulu buy a Pit Bull for their apartment now that Franco has stalked them both again? Will Brooke Lynn sing Before He Cheats right to Patrick's face when Robin finds out about his dalliance? Will Claire tell Sonny she wants a burrito some night instead of pasta to throw him off his game? Will Spencer ever get to take off his sweater vest and slacks to dress in shorts and a t-shirt like a normal non-prince kid this summer?