It's So Nice To Be Insane, No One Asks You To Explain… (File that title under "really good lines in really bad songs.")
After an unscheduled walk on the edge of the snowy rooftop in her "butt to the wind" hospital gown, Elizabeth agreed to sign herself into Shadybrook. Does anyone but me wonder why GH doesn't lock that damned rooftop door? Nothing good ever happens on the hospital roof.
At Shadybrook, Elizabeth was immediately sent to Laura's old room. Same window, same rocking chair, the only thing missing is the hairbrush. Seemingly, they haven't hired any new security guards, either, as Helena is freely wandering the halls dropping in to threaten Elizabeth periodically. Of course Helena did reference a big donation she made, so I guess if you give a lot of loot to Shadybrook, you get a free pass to harass the mental patients.
It's also clear that they don't have metal detectors in that joint. Lucky stopped by to visit Elizabeth packing heat and when he heard Elizabeth yelling at Helena, he pulled a gun on Helena right in the open doorway. No wonder people never get cured when they go there.
I wonder what sort of diagnosis Elizabeth will get… Is "adulteress-a-phobia" a real mental disorder? Uh oh, that line will get me a bunch of nasty emails from Elizabeth's self-appointed protectors. Perhaps I haven't made myself clear. I love Elizabeth. I'm just mad at her right now because I know she's better than this and I'm disappointed in her choices just as I would be disappointed in myself for making that sort of choice. And yes, readers, I do realize Elizabeth isn't the only cheater on GH. She's just the person who cheated on my beloved Lucky, so I suppose I'm being extra harsh on her. I also realize the most important fact, she's a fictional character. So to those of you who have written to say you are concerned about me hurting her feelings; reality check - Elizabeth Weber doesn't really exist!
Speaking of Lucky, if you missed Friday's episode of Soap Central Live and didn't catch the interview with the soulful Jonathan Jackson, I highly recommend downloading the interview at your earliest convenience. [You can listen to the show, download the podcast, or get more information simply by clicking here.]
Lucky Spencer is a phenomenal man. He has been hurt and betrayed by the people he trusted most in the world, and yet in Elizabeth's time of need, he set aside his pain and rage to care for her. That, my friends, is what true love looks like. His love is not based on his current feelings, because right now all he feels for her is contempt. Instead, it's based on a commitment he made long ago, a promise Lucky vowed in his heart to stand by her no matter what.
That's the trick of taking vows. When you say "for better or for worse," you assume there will be more "better" than "worse." But that's not always the case. Although Lucky and Elizabeth aren't legally married, they have made those vows to one another several times. It's clear that although the paperwork isn't currently legally binding, those vows are still valid in Lucky's soul. He's still honoring the promises he made years ago in spite of the hell Elizabeth has put him through.
When Elizabeth asked if Lucky forgave her, his mouth said yes, but it's clear he hasn't. Again, the remarkable Jonathan Jackson played this brilliantly. He never overacts. Everything he does looks so real, that's why it hurts us so much to watch. In the interview, Dan asked Jonathan where he had to go inside himself to draw out all that emotion. I really hope you'll listen to the show to hear his response. He's a great actor, but even more so, a very soulful and thoughtful guy in touch with his own heart and emotions.
It took all the inner strength Lucky could muster to return her embrace. Did you see how long it took him to move his arm into place when she went in for the hug? Each inch killed me to watch, I was sad for both their sakes. His hand was just hanging there in mid air for the longest time. Elizabeth is broken and absolutely craved his reassuring touch, but he dreaded the idea of touching her. Even so, selfless love prevailed and he pretended to forgive Elizabeth for the sake of her mental health and allowed his hand to gently rest upon her back.
I was glad Lucky brought up his affair with Maxie. Sure, he was hooked on pills at the time, but it's good to know he remembers that he cheated on her once, too. In truth, he put Elizabeth through the same thing -she walked in on the man she loved in bed with someone else, just as he walked in to catch her with Nikolas. Perhaps this will help him understand what drove her into Jason's arms all those years ago. His drug of choice to handle the pain is booze, and hers was Jason. Clearly she made the better choice.
As I predicted, Elizabeth is pregnant and doesn't know who fathered her child. Yesterday on the SoapCentral Live radio show, we bandied that about; who do we want to be the daddy of Liz's baby? Which outcome would make for the best storyline? Opinions varied, but I am squarely on Team Lucky. Lucky has helped raise Jason's son, and Zander's son, and it's about time he got his own child to raise. Luke put it a lot more bluntly and asked Lucky how he'd feel if the baby was Nikolas' and added "Haven't you had your fill yet of raising other men's children?"
This must all be very retro for Nikolas considering he already went through one round of "who's the daddy" back when Courtney was sleeping with him and Jax simultaneously. That union produced Spencer, and readers, let's face it, Nikolas is a rotten father. He already has one kid he ignores, why give him two? Team Lucky!
Helena is betting on the notion that Cassadine sperm is more potent than Spencer sperm. Helena has made no secret of the fact she intends to lay claim to Liz's unborn child. But I'm not sure Helena is right. Certainly, the odds are in Nik's favor. He got a lot more tail feather than Lucky did, but as we all learned in high school health class, it only takes one time to get pregnant.
Helena had some delicious lines this week - like when Elizabeth said "You'll never get near my child." And Helena sweetly smiled and gently replied "And who do you suppose would stop me?" Constance Towers is a gem as Helena. Helena is evil, wicked to the core, yet I can't help but adore her. She's just so much fun to watch. Not to mention, you just don't hear the word "strumpet" every day, but when Helena is in town, you do.
"Pretend-forgiving" Elizabeth must have pushed Lucky to the brink because his drive home from Shadybrook bordered on road rage. He was taking turns much too fast, had a crazed look in his eyes and gave a few bangs to his steering wheel. Pair that with Maxie in the oncoming lane, the new poster child for "Don't text and drive" on her way back from getting Kate's "pinging" car fixed, and you have all the makings of a good disaster. Maybe Lucky and Maxie will have "car wreck pity sex" in the snow.
By the way, I have to say it was very gentlemanly of Johnny to stop and tinker with Kate's "pinging" car before marching off to take over the mob.
Sonny is so wrapped up in the usual Corinthos drama, that he'll never see Johnny coming. Maurice Benard has done some amazing work this past week, and I confess it gets to me when Sonny cries. Yeah, I know he's a ruthless mobster who gets away with murder, but when he was railing at Olivia for never telling him about Dante and choked out the "I would be Dante's father instead of the man that he hates" line with a tear trickling down, it did me in.
Why? I have a vivid imagination. In my mind, if Sonny had known that Olivia was pregnant with Dante, he might have gotten out of the mob. He might have made different choices with his life. He was still a teenager at the time and not in deep enough yet to do any permanent harm.
When Olivia lied, she took away Sonny's chance to make the choice to change his life for his child. Who knows, he might have gotten a job at a shoe store, or put his culinary skills together at a local restaurant.
Sonny had a line, very simple, but he delivered it with such passion, "You lied to our son from the start; you really, really need to own that." And he is right. Olivia has to realize that everything that is happening now lies squarely on her shoulders. Olivia decided to keep Dante's paternity a secret even after about a bazillion people warned her how badly it could go. Those lies are what led to the tragic events that have impacted so many lives.
Sonny is angry at her and rightfully so; Olivia has regrets, but still feels equally justified in her choice to keep quiet. Sonny is playing on her guilt and has tried to enlist her help to get Dante to talk to him before Sonny goes to prison for life. Olivia has refused to intervene, because, let's face it, Dante doesn't like her much right now either. Lulu hasn't been open to Sonny's pleas either. Readers, is it possible Sonny is finally losing his mojo? Women can suddenly resist him!
On an unrelated note, one of my Twitter followers came up with a good GH drinking game for us; every time Sonny says "I wouldn't have shot him if I knew he was my son!" we all do a shot.
Dante still has plenty of mojo, but Valentine's Day nearly did him in. When Lulu showed up in her red va-va-vavoom dress she nearly gave our favorite horny, but injured cop a heart attack. Ladies, take some advice from Mama Tamilu. Men always want sex. Thus, if they are recovering from a gunshot wound, you have to be the one who says, "It's not worth dying for, dude." Because for them, it is.
Lulu wasn't Dante's only visitor this week. His scenes with his new little brother, Morgan, played by the phenomenal Aaron Refvem, were so moving. Morgan, stepping into the "enabler" role, is trying to fix things for all the messed up adults in his life. This kid needs to get an Emmy, but sadly, I think he and Drew Garrett would both fall into the "younger actor" category. This means they would have to compete with one another. That has always bugged me when a 7-year-old and a 20-year-old are considered the same age group…
But I digress. Morgan begged Dante and Jason to all make up and be a big happy mob family so his daddy wouldn't have to go to prison. His scenes were exceptionally moving. Morgan also gave Carly an earful about driving Jax away. I think Carly secretly wants to forgive Jax, but is too stubborn to let herself.
My most favorite Carly moment this week was the look she gave Jason when he implied she wouldn't be able to effectively lie on the witness stand. Rare is the person who becomes highly offended when you think they are a bad liar.
Things that made me laugh this week… First, Diane. Did you see her hair when they called her away from her romantic Valentine's Day with Max? That was JBF hair if ever I saw it. Did you see her flash Jason at the Police Station in her lingerie? Bazinga! Also amusing, Maxie and Spinelli's trip to Planet Love, and Maxie stuffing about 80 condoms into Lulu's purse. Lulu made me laugh unintentionally for mocking Elizabeth for being in Shadybrook, as Lulu apparently forgot she went nuts last year and spent a great deal of time at Shadybrook herself in the room across the hall. Also entertaining was Alexis getting busted making out with Mac on the couch to the delight of her Yenta-like daughters. Also, I see the impending humor of a major catfight between Carly and Olivia. When Carly tried to bully Dante into saying he falsified evidence, Olivia's claws came out and I distinctly heard some hissing.
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Robin Christopher's return bring a Tracy/Skye showdown? Will that church start locking its doors so mentally unstable women won't wander in and get hypothermia on their pews? Will Lila Rae be 17 and a love match for Michael? Will Skye cougar herself into Ethan's bed since she can't have daddy Luke? Will Sam give her sister's Jason's credit card again so they can decorate his penthouse with shamrocks and leprechauns for St. Patrick's Day? Will Laura finally come home from Paris now that Luke is acting all paternal? Will GH hire a nurse to replace Liz so when a patient turns off his own monitor to get laid someone will notice it's off? Will I be able to find those Chocolate Espresso Gold cookies Alexis was going on about?