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 Two Scoops: October 12, 2009 columns
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Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1993
For the Week of October 12, 2009
'Someone wore a wire to get evidence against Sonny.' Hmm. That has such a familiar ring to it
"Someone wore a wire to get evidence against Sonny"…Hmm. That has such a familiar ring to it…If you have watched General Hospital as long as I have, you'll recognize this plot, because we've seen it before. If I made a list of my top twenty GH scenes ever, the "Brenda wears a wire and Sonny catches her" scene would most likely be on that list.

I posted the YouTube link for my Twitter followers to view that scene just in case I am the oldest one here. At least that way a few people will know about the scene to which I am referring. I watched it twice myself just for fun. It was a classic scene, and one that could never be replicated.

More importantly, one would think we had not had any technological advances since 1993. When Ronnie rigged Dante up with a wire, he used a mile of surgical tape and secured giant microphones to Dante's chest…

Hey writers! Ever hear of the wireless revolution? I can carry my iPhone in my pocket and accomplish the same thing by hitting the button that looks like a big microphone! That way someone could pull off my shirt without jeopardizing the mission by finding me taped down with a mile of wires. Just sayin…

On the up side that scene did accomplish giving us a glimpse of shirtless Dante, so if that was the purpose, it served us well. I find Dominic Zamprogna to be a very likeable fellow and not just because I saw him shirtless. As much as I whine about losing old beloved characters for new actors, I have to admit the latest bunch of new actors are splendid.

I can't decide who is going to kill Claudia. She has a plethora of enemies around town. The only ones still sticking up for her are the golden hearted Spinelli and Sonny who doesn't yet have proof that Claudia is responsible for Michael's shooting.

I can't decide who I want to be the one to take her out… Maybe Olivia, because I am deeply fond of Lisa Locicero and her portrayal of Olivia has been pitch perfect since day one. I'd kind of like to see her play "crazed out of control frightened mom." Olivia is a non-violent sort, but I can see her killing Claudia to protect Dante and their family secrets,

Then again, maybe it will be Claudia's brother Johnnie. When he stormed in and put her in a choke hold last week I am ashamed to admit I enjoyed it. But only because Claudia is so evil and keeps getting away with stuff, not because I am in any way advocating violence against women.

Jax has reasons to kill her, Jason, too, and Michael has a terrible temper these days and one more memory flash could push him over the edge. If Carly found out about Claudia's role in Michael's shooting, I could easily see her body slamming Claudia with her big pregnant belly and knocking her down the GH staircase.

The end is near, but I honestly have no idea how she's going to go out. Maybe the fashion police will kill her for wearing that hideous red leather skirt with the giant zipper up the back! Sarah Joy Brown has been taunting us on Twitter, dropping hints, but I haven't figured out the mystery yet. Maybe she won't die at all but escape with Anthony into the night to return someday for future chaos.

When Sarah Joy Brown first came back to Port Charles as someone other than Carly, I didn't think it would work. I was completely wrong. She erased Carly from my mind the first day she slipped into the slinky leather Claudia outfits and snarled her first lines. I never thought of her as Carly again. The Bold and Beautiful is lucky to get Ms. Brown. Thankfully for me, I watch both shows so I won't have to miss her for long.

If Claudia dies, I suspect her brother Johnnie might have some regrets. If we're lucky, he will sing sad mournful songs to recover from his grief. Brandon Barash could easily have a second career as a singer, and frankly I hope he does. After hearing him sing and play on Friday's episode, I secretly hoped L and B records would reopen so Johnnie could get out of that greasy garage and make a living in the fake soap music industry.

Of course I don't want to ignore his acting. The scenes where he was getting dumped by Olivia were heartrending. But it was the scene where he confronted Claudia that he truly shined. He wore every emotion on his face; the pain was raw and vivid. When he tearfully explained that Olivia was the one thing in his life that was pure, I was blotting my teary eyes. I didn't even mind the dark circles the next day that is how good he was!

Dear readers, I know it speaks badly of my character to admit this, but I am a fan of Helena Cassadine. She is evil, devious, manipulative, and treacherous yet, I really kind of dig her. I love the twisted relationship between Helena and Luke Spencer. There was some brilliant dialogue this week when Helena wanted Luke to help her escape. "Luke please don't let us end this way, don't you want the satisfaction of killing me yourself? Priceless.

Last week I guessed Stefan was still alive, but it's clear I am wrong. A new and as yet unseen Cassadine named Valentine is supposedly behind their captivity. A new batch of Cassadines in town makes me giddy. They are like a better dressed Adams Family.

Okay, here's a poll. Even though I know that many of you and diehard Jason/Liz fans are you able to admit that Jason and Sam are pretty good together? When Jason and Liz were a couple, they never really were a couple. They met occasionally in secret, had a few stolen moments and nothing more.

But Jason and Sam actually work together as a team. They compliment one another and Sam can live in Jason's world without flinching. I think Steve Burton and Kelly Monaco bring out the best in one another - the only time we get to see Jason be playful and light is with Sam. Also, when Jason was furious after Sonny told him to back off Claudia, Sam was actually able to talk Jason down. You have to give credit where credit is due.

Mind you, I loved Jason and Elizabeth back in the day, but they just don't make sense long term. Liz is a mom whose kids will always come first. Maybe after Jake and Cam head off to college Liz and Jason can try again. Knowing the whole Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome, Jake and Cam could be in college next summer! Liz has enough trouble on her hands at present with Lucky and Nikolas both pining away for her. I can see why she needed to get away.

Dear readers, when I am right, you applaud me, and when I am wrong, you tell me! Last week I mocked Rebecca for dying her hair Emily color, and your reminded me that Nikolas asked her to do that a few weeks back. So much happened between then and now, I forgot all about that line, but you reminded me! I should make more mistakes so I can get you guys to write to me more!

My laugh of the week was Space Robin all dolled up in her 'Ground Control to Major Tom' outfit laid out on the back of the sofa in her "come hither" pose as Patrick and his pal Louise walked in. Hilarious.

Readers, I have a prediction, but I hope I am wrong. A few of you have e-mailed me variations on the same idea this week, so I know I'm not crazy. Kiefer is a creep, we all know that. He has hit Kristina around on more than one occasion. She has done nothing to stop him. Michael punched Kiefer last week and took a lot of flack for it.

Alexis has made a big deal about telling Kristina to stay away from Michael because he is damaged and dangerous. Add all that up. I predict that the next time Kristina ends up with a black eye, a fat lip, or a bloody nose, everyone will assume Michael freaked out and hit her and Kristina will let him take the fall. That's my prediction. I think the entire extended Corinthos family needs to be in group therapy with Lainie. (Or whoever is the resident shrink these days, I haven't seen Lainie for ages.)

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Carly decide to name her baby Jocelyn Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt? Will Sam have to explain herself to Lucky 1 or Lucky 2 come Monday? Will Claudia pick another hotel for her next attempted sperm drop? Will former American Idol contestant Chickezie Eze become Coleman's regular bartender/karaoke star, or did he just need gas money? Will the new Cassadines go to France and kidnap Laura and hold her hostage because that's what Cassadines do?



Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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