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 Two Scoops: February 9, 2009 columns
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Rockabye Emma, in the treetop
For the Week of February 9, 2009
Robin tied her damn baby to a tree branch. Need I say anything more?
Robin tied her damn baby to a tree branch. Need I say anything more? I am sure one of you will write me to defend Robin with something like "In Girl Scouts they taught us to do that in case we crashed our car into a snow drift and tromped out into the snow with our feverish baby." But A) I won't believe you, and B) Robin was never in Girl Scouts. I know this because she has been on GH since she was 7. I would have seen her with a sash and badges trying to sell Edward Q a case of Thin Mints. My husband, who swears he doesn't watch GH, said he suspects it might be some French skill Robin learned while in Paris.

Thank goodness that Maxie and Johnny decided to drive drunk in the blizzard instead of having sex in the dirty garage. Did you see how many beers they had? I saw Maxie go to the beer fridge at least 4 times, and Johnny was keeping pace. So unless they only took one swig from each bottle, or that kiss was some sort of Supernatural Instant Sober Power kiss, neither of them should have been driving windy back roads in a blizzard. (Or even across the street to 7/11 for more beer, for that matter.)

But, Robin was so spaced out, be it from hypothermia, post partum depression, or a full blown mental breakdown that she didn't remember putting her baby in a tree. Robin also didn't seem to notice that the two people who were driving her sick baby around town smelled like beer. One lady wrote last week and demanded I apologize to Robin for being so hard on her. Umm…Robin is a fictional character, which means she is pretend, so I doubt I hurt her feelings. But let me clearly state for the record I am not making fun of women who suffer from post partum depression. I know it's real, and God knows I have hormone related issues of my own, so I get it. But I seriously doubt any real Mom's with PPD wandered out in the snow and hung their baby in a car seat from a tree branch in a white out and then forgot. If I am wrong, let me know. I was merely mocking writing with lots of holes in it because that's what I do.

On the other hand, when the writers do it right, I will heap praise upon them like there is no tomorrow, and they have done some of that, too. There is such an intricate web of intrigue right now with Kate, Trevor, Jason, Sonny, Claudia, Ric, and Anthony. Every bit of this is riveting; around every corner there are secrets, motivations, loyalties, betrayals, and shifts of power. I seriously cannot wait until Monday comes. I remember when I first started watching GH I was a sophomore in High School. GH started at 3PM back in Stow Ohio. I used to sit on the school bus ride home watching the second hand tick by on my watch, living in dread fear of catching a train and getting home late. There was no such thing as Tivo then, or even VCR's so if you missed it, you missed it. But for this Monday, I have both a Tivo in the bedroom and a DVR in the living room ready to record it. Not to mention SoapNet as my emergency back up in case of technical malfunctions.

What's so great about Monday? There was an explosion Friday and I am on pins and needles waiting to see the fallout. To recap, my adorable and heroic Damian Spinelli was in the room with the blast. Trevor was walking around the hallways with a sphere of deadly toxin in his pocket in what looked to be an old 35mm film case. Kate lost the DVD incriminating Claudia from her purse and compared it to coconut macaroons. Nikolas just caught up with Not Emily in her sassy beret and cute new 'do, but she probably got blown down the hospital corridors before he got to say hello. Sonny had Anthony begging him for Mercy (why won't he release him!) crying like a little girl with a gun to his head, but his bromance with Jason kept him from pulling the trigger. Robin, Johnny and Maxie finally got feverish baby Emma to the hospital and were turned away. Hot Aussie scoundrel Ethan just dropped Holly Sutton's name, and rumors abound that Ethan is either Luke or Robert's love child with Holly which means there is a possibility he is at least ˝ "American Boy". Jax is bullying the Feds. And Epiphany is making Lulu do manual labor! Monday will be a 'can't miss' episode. I

Don't hate me, but I loved Lucky sitting by Liz's bedside reminiscing about old times. They didn't come out and say "I'm Yours" but they might as well have. Those 2 characters have such a rich history. Sure Greg Vaughn is Lucky # 3, but I can ignore that and pretend he was the one in the box car and with a guitar writing ballads for Elizabeth. I have an incredible capacity for imagination. Jason and Sam both stood outside Liz's room and witnessed the chemistry and connection between Lucky and Elizabeth, and so did we.

The pairing of Lucky and Elizabeth just makes more sense than Jason/ Liz or Lucky/Sam pairings. Opposites may attract, but really, can they sustain a relationship? Liz and Lucky are homebody's who like to play with their kids, and have normal 9 to 5 jobs; they embrace domesticity. Jason and Sam OTOH, are adrenaline junkies who gravitate to crime and danger. Can you see why one from Column A and one from Column B might not work in that scenario? I think there is balance in the force again as the people who fit together are finding their way back together again. I am all for as many happy couples as we can get our hands on. The world is broke, at war and a little scared right now, so by all means, divert us with romance and fantasy ABC. Please, I am begging you.

Random things that made me happy this week…

  • Sam said Spinelli reminded her of her late brother Danny. I hadn't heard her mention him in so long; it was nice to hear her speak about him again. I appreciate it when the writers acknowledge a character's history

  • Edward finally admitted out loud that he loved his daughter Tracy when he thought she was dying. Of course she broke the mood by waking up and rudely telling him to shut up. As always great comedic timing from the delightfully sassy Jane Elliot.

  • Edward also engaged in a heart to heart talk with Carly. Over the year he has called her names and blamed Carly for the Q's losing a relationship with Michael. But in this scene, he talked to her like a friend and recounted his list of losses - his fear of being alone when the rest of his family died. And Carly was actually compassionate to Edward. A very touching little exchange.

  • Here is a scene I would like to see - Carly admitting to Monica that AJ would have been a better choice of father for Michael than Mob Central. I doubt she will ever write the Q's a "Love Song", but a little recognition that they weren't so bad after all would be appropriate. Sure, AJ was an alcoholic, but there are 12 step groups for that, he could have gotten help. There are no mobster 12 step groups.

  • Claudia was in her hospital bed absolutely "Bleeding Love" - she told Sonny with what could have been her dying breath that Anthony was playing him. Claudia loves her Dad in spite of the fact that he's a murdering psycho, and with that act lost any chance she ever had to win his affection and trust. Sonny has protected her and been decent to her and I think she just might have a little crush on her husband.

  • Maxie and Johnny confided faults to one another and talked about "Viva La Vida" in general. They came to the conclusion that they were both involved with people who were nicer than they are Even so; they still opted to do the right before anyone got hurt.

  • Jax realized he made a bad choice and turned his plane around midway and started "Chasing Pavement" to be with Carly for the benefit. Sure, he is locked out in the hospital parking lot, but at least Carly knows he is there and fighting for her.

  • Jason's talk with Monica where she actually had an opportunity to be proud of him for working with the FBI during the crisis. Monica has always believed that Jason Q's heart still lives in Jason Morgan's body, and this week she got proof of that. I also loved Edward and Tracy dippin' in the hallway trying to catch their every word.

  • One of the few comedic moments of the crisis was when Jason yelled at Sam to take the shot after the weirdo guy took him hostage, and then screamed at after he got hit that he didn't really mean it.

    What will tomorrow hold dear readers? Will Spinelli decide he likes the HazMat suit look and talking through the Darth Vader mask? Will Winnifred realize girls stop wearing pigtails and braids somewhere around Junior High? Will Agent Raynor realize when you can only send in 3 agents to a mass catastrophe you shouldn't send an unarmed teenage girl to do a man's job? Will Mac's head explode if Maxie hooks up with Johnny? Will Luke's head explode if Lulu takes a shine to Ethan considering he could be her ˝ brother? Will the denizens of Port Charles be featured on an episode of "Stars without Makeup" after they all get their Silkwood showers? Will any of you get the secret puzzle I weaved through this week's column?

    Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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