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 Two Scoops: January 19, 2009 columns
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Hitchhiking on Déjà vu Street
For the Week of January 19, 2009
When Robin and Patrick opened the door to their 'new' home, did you get the strange feeling you had been there before? Well, that's because you have been.
When Robin and Patrick opened the door to their 'new' home, did you get the strange feeling you had been there before? Well, that's because you have been. You might recognize the place as Ric and Elizabeth's old house. You know, the one where Ric kept Carly captive, chained to a wall in the panic room that's on the side of the house they haven't shown us yet.

When Liz dropped by, I was startled that she didn't show Robin where the secret button was to open the panic room door just in case Patrick ever loses is mind and decides to kidnap a pregnant woman. Or maybe Robin might want to lock her crying baby into a soundproof room.

It's no wonder Elizabeth was so speedy in her quest to decorate the place, she had done it before. Here's a question, while Liz was babysitting Emma, who was babysitting Cam and Jake? Did she leave them at the hospital day care? Were they out on the beat with Lucky? Did Gram take them to the zoo in subzero temperatures? Just checking.

As Oprah would say, the One Thing I Know For Sure is…If I had a friend like Robin who would just throw on her coat and bolt when I dropped by because she thought she found a chump to baby-sit; I would never, ever, ever stop by Robin's house again. Hey readers! I think they might be trying to drop hints to let us know that Robin is suffering from Postpartum Depression! And the reason I think that is because they have said the words Postpartum Depression more times in one week than I have heard them in my entire life.

Of course, this is the most minor of issues, there are much larger issues in Port Charles this week, but…we have no idea what they are yet. We have seen montages of possible crisis' unfolding, but we don't yet know just what is going to go down. What we do know is that Patrick very frantically wants to stop a certain surgery. Why? Is something going to blow up, or is a poisonous chemical going to be released into the air, or is it some new monkey virus? Does the tragic event take place on the night of Carly's fundraiser in honor of Michael? If not, why else is everyone in town in the hospital? Who is that chick that looks like Emily and why did she come to GH? So many questions with so few answers. GH does the offbeat brand of storytelling better than anyone in Daytime. When they decide to mix up the format, they hit a home run every time. We are time traveling, ala "Lost" into the future and back again. I am salivating to see what happens next. Rumor has it a major character will not make it through this crisis, but I don't know who it is or how they will die, or how major they actually are. But I know I am intrigued.

I adore Jason Thompson, just in general. But I am especially delighted with the interview segments he has done this week because they showcase his range. It's nice to see him do something besides bicker with Robin. His intensity in these few scenes make me excited to see what has made poor Patrick so distressed.

Spinelli was distressed enough to brave an audience with "Mr. Sir" this week. You know Damian was really worried about Jason because he's terrified of Sonny. Every time Sonny talks to Spinelli I am afraid he is going to pee himself.

Spinelli narrowly escaped the threat of lifetime imprisonment, and was curious about how that drastic change transpired. When Jason refused to elaborate (no surprise there) Spinelli went to Sonny to enlist his help in saving Jason from himself. All of Carly's begging and pleading seemingly had no impact on Sonny, but Spinelli's news that Jason cut a deal with the Feds made a difference.

Sonny suddenly realized that Jason hadn't stopped by to start a war, but to warn him. Jason pleaded with Sonny to distance himself from the Zacharra's. Of course, Sonny said no, but at least this time he explained. He told Jason he was working Anthony because he had a feeling that one of the Zacharras was responsible for Kate's shooting. Jason warned Sonny about 111 times to back off so he wouldn't get caught in the trap the Feds were setting for Anthony, but Sonny has always been a stubborn S.O.B, so he ignored Jason's sage advice.

Kate didn't ignore her gut feeling; she had a hunch that Claudia was up to something. Kate caught Claudia up in Sonny's bedroom digging around under the bed, and also saw Claudia watching a DVD with Jerry Jacks on it although I doubt she could hear the clue he was taunting Claudia with. Claudia will be busted one day, no doubt - my question is will it be before or after she actually falls in love with Sonny?

But why Kate cares is beyond me. She made a big point of telling Sonny she was done with him, and sleeping with Jax, so why is she now stalking him and sneaking around his house spying on his wife? Apparently she still cares. The thing is, if Kate and Sonny aren't together, there is no reason for Kate to stay in Port Charles. She's not really connected to any other characters in a significant way. That is of course except for her cousin Olivia who was invited to a wedding and never went home. Maybe not knowing when to leave is in the Falconeri gene pool.

Jax and Carly have openly admitted to one another that they purposely stalled their divorce and are very carefully attempting a tentative reunion. This probably means Jax won't be having any more one night stands with Kate. So, all she has left if her cruddy magazine that her 20 year old assistant seems to be running.

Maxie has become quite the adult lately- she's the one who can pay rent on the apartment, she apologized to Spinelli, and she's bossing poor Clarice around like crazy. Am I the only one who thinks of a cartoon reindeer every time they mention Clarice's name? Maxie said horrible things to Spinelli last week and broke all of our hearts, but made it right this week not only by apologizing, but by admitting she was jealous of Winnifred. I love it when people confess their sins, even if it's a self centered fictional character on a daytime drama. It still gives me hope for humanity. Maxie is growing.

On the other hand, Lulu and Johnny are a mess. Lulu had to borrow money from Carly to pay rent, and Johnny lied and told Lulu he got the job at the hospital. Sadly for Johnny, Lulu already heard from Epiphany that Johnny did not get the job. So, Johnny's lying, Lulu knows it, but she's also lying to him about not needing money - so they kind of deserve one another. Why doesn't Johnny offer to play piano at weddings or funerals or at the mall department store? They pay people lots of money for that. I wish he was real and I could mentor him. So much wasted musical potential.

Speaking of wasted potential, where is Jake Spencer? We keep seeing little family outings with Lucky, Liz and Cameron - has Jake been banished? He doesn't have red hair, so no one can call him the red headed step child, but he probably feels like he has red hair.

Sam wants to become a P.I. and Lucky was not being very supportive. Well, of course he's not, the writers want to break them up so they have to invent reasons for them to fight. If Sam told Lucky she wanted to be the French fry girl at McDonald's he would be lecturing her about the dangers of grease splatters and 2nd degree burns. Methinks that relationship is off like a prom dress.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Nikolas go fill out the papers that say his mom is an American so everyone will stop talking about his immigrant status? Will Matt ask a girl out who will actually say yes? Will Liz find any other people moving into her neighborhood and unpack all their boxes? Will I be able to convince my dear readers to help me pray for my Mama who is having surgery next Friday? Will the Equinox Corporation keep using Aunt Raylene's secret plow parts for weapons and just not tell Nadine? Will Un-Emily have the same voice as Emily? Will Robin turn the panic room into a new soundproof nursery closet for baby Emma?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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