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 Two Scoops: January 5, 2009 columns
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Too many nerds spoil the broth
For the Week of January 5, 2009
One Spinelli I can take. But two? And a lesser wannabe version to boot?
One Spinelli I can take. But two? And a lesser wannabe version to boot? Too much weird for one small town, methinks. I can hear the writers concocting this plan. "Spinelli needs a love interest and no normal woman would ever be attracted to him, so I know! How about giving him a female doppelganger?"

Pass! Spinelli had a perfect love match, the sweet, smart, and gentle Georgie. But as is the way of things, the writers killed her off before their relationship came to fruition. So instead, we must suffer through a female computer nerd who supposedly worships Spinelli, but hacked him. Although she has not properly introduced herself yet, rumor has it her name is Winnifred. Ah, how cute. "Spin and Win." Eww.

My one question about her is this…Who is she working for?

Certainly not Sonny, he's never been able to handle Spinelli. I think that is mainly because Sonny can't follow any of Spinelli's references. Let's face it. Sonny has more in the way of dimples than brains. Maybe we have a whole new nationality of mobsters moving in since we are finally rid of the Russians. I just hope Winnifred is a temporary character and not a permanent fixture. If ABC is unable to afford Genie Francis full time, I propose that they trade in Winnifred, Kate, Olivia and Nadine and use that loot to hire Genie back.

Killing off Georgie and inventing Winnifred is nearly as annoying as killing off Emily and pairing Nikolas with the likes of Nadine. They have an actor of Tyler Christopher's caliber and the best storyline they can write for him is negotiating a deal on a patent for farm equipment? Really? That's the best you could some up with? Eeek gads. I don't care if Natalia is going to play Emily's evil twin. Bring her on now. I don't care about plows or patents or if Nadine got cow piss on her hands when she milked Bessie. I want to see Nikolas EMOTE again.

In a very enjoyable Spinelli scene this week, there was a dream sequence where Spinelli envisioned himself tripping the light fantastic with Maximista. Delightful. Dancing With the Stars, sign them up! The two actors really have a great chemistry together both in and out of character. If you happened to catch the fantastic General Hospital Christmas marathon on Soapnet where they aired three classic GH Christmas episodes from days gone by, the in-between bits with Kirsten Storms and Bradford Anderson were really adorable. But I digress.

The dance fantasy scenes were great, but they were just a taste of the wonder in store for us during Robin and Patrick's wedding. For a longtime viewer such as me, the flashbacks from Mac, Robert and Anna of Robin in her younger years were completely satisfying. That's the joy of keeping the same actors in the same roles over the years; you can actually USE your shows' history to your advantage. It was like an extra holiday gift! Thanks ABC.

One more bonus, the powers that be actually saw fit to acknowledge Michael's birthday and to allow Dylan Cash to return for one more day in the sun. Even though he only got to lay there in the bed, at least it was the right kid. They could have done a "Ghost Alan" kind of thing and had Sonny envision an older, wiser Michael offering his forgiveness. But I don't want to get too greedy. I actually got to see Michael so I will be thankful for that and not whine about the fact that he didn't speak.

The conversation between Carly and Sonny where they offered forgiveness to one another was well timed. The first wave of grief behind them, they have had enough time for soul searching to realize that they both made bad decisions that lead to Michael's shooting. Carly was thankful for Sonny's forgiveness, but told him the person he most needed to forgive was himself. And that's the hard part isn't it dear readers? It's a lot easier to forgive others when they mess up instead of forgiving our own flawed flesh and blood.

Sonny's new wife Claudia is trying sporadically to offer compassion on his loss and pain. This might be guilt since she is the reason Michael is in a coma, but she is too busy to get involved in the healing process. Claudia is preoccupied with Jerry's vile game of hide and seek.

I have so many questions about this… Are we to believe that Jerry is still alive? Did he sneak into town without anyone seeing him, sneak into Sonny's house past all the guards and security system, scale Sonny's walls and install things behind mirrors and paintings and such with no one walking in on him?

If so, why can't Claudia dig around for 3 seconds without someone popping their head in the door to catch her? Also, if Jerry is not alive and walking around Port Charles, then that would mean he planted the DVD's and clues before his boat exploded. So, he knew Claudia and Sonny would actually follow through on their wedding and knew Claudia would move into Sonny's house and knew she would bring her laptop. I mean seriously, Claudia is not Spinelli; it isn't as if w ever saw her carrying the thing around before. If I somehow missed the explanation of how Jerry did this, by all means, please fill me in.

I am a bit confused about the whole Sonny and Jason standoff right now. When Jason took over the business from Sonny, he did so extremely reluctantly. I understood why Jason didn't give Sonny control the first time he asked, because Sonny was hell bent on revenge on Karpov. Jason declined because he didn't want Sonny to have the tools to start a war and get everyone they love killed. But now, the Russians are gone, and Jason could easily say "Sure, here you go pal." And let Sonny take back his business. After Jake was nearly killed, I would think Jason would jump at the chance to walk away. His coffee house burned down, he can't even get an onsite Cappuccino anymore! There is the added incentive that the Feds offered Jason an immunity deal to inform them about Sonny and his link to the Zacharas, but I'm finding it hard to believe that Jason will really give Sonny up.

For our comic relief this week, we were treated to a behind the scenes tour of Johnny Zachara's job interviews. As each interviewer mentioned his family's name and business, he got increasingly peeved until he blew a gasket and punched a wall. Needless to say, he didn't get hired. On the up side, he had a magical snowy New Year's Eve with Lulu and beer, so all is well in Johnny-World. I suppose what we are leading up to is that Johnny will not be able to get work anywhere and will have to go crawling back to his whack job Dad's business. And the sad truth is, society often won't let a person change. When I was a kid, my dad drank. When I was a teen, he stopped drinking and became a pastor. His drinking friends kept a barstool open for him every night; just certain he would be back. But he never went back. People like to think a man can't change, maybe because if men can change that means all the naysayers would have to try to change. I would love to see Johnny prove them all wrong and start a piano school in the basement of the new and improved Kelly's diner, but let's be realistic. That will never happen.

I have been crushin' on John Travolta since he was on Welcome Back Kotter a gazillion years ago. I had a Vinnie Barbarino lunch box, a t-shirt, a slushie maker, and I actually bought his solo album. But even with decades of crushin' behind me, if someone told me John Travolta was alone on the 25th floor of a building and all I had to do to spend a nice quiet dinner with him was hoof my butt up 25 flights of stairs, I would be on the bottom floor saying "Damn, if only the elevator worked I would have met John Travolta." Carly walked up 25 flights of steps in an evening gown and heels to see Jax? That's crazy talk. If there was a Crazytown, Carly could be mayor. I would not walk up 24 flights of steps for anyone. I might walk up half that many for Prince though.

(All kidding aside, I want to offer my condolences to the Travolta family on the loss of their son Jett this week.)

On New Year's Eve Luke closed the Haunted Star to again try to woo Tracy back? I saw screw her. He should have flown to Paris and spent New Year's Eve on the Eiffel Tower with Laura. Tracy has become a shadow of her former self. Where's the Tracy who withheld her Dad's heart pills to try to get all of his loot? That Tracy would not be spinning for numbers on the roulette wheel to make her decisions. She always knew exactly what she wanted and stopped at nothing to get it. Give her back her dignity. Let her fight for Luke fair and square with Laura in town and see who Luke really loves. After watching Luke being in love with Laura for 30 years, it just rings so untrue to me for him to say "Oh, I have changed, I love Tracy now." What? You don't love someone passionately for 30 years and just wake up one day and it's gone. Tracy doesn't believe it, and neither do we. If you can't get Genie back on the show, at least come up with a more plausible explanation, like she decided to go back to Scott and show Luke dealing with the rejection. Something. Anything plausible.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Jax add a few more floors to the hotel to see if Carly will walk up 30 flights of stairs to see him? Will Sam realize men never see things that are dropped on the floor so she has no worries about Lucky finding that card? Will Nadine get a patent on being weird? Will Claudia install a rock climbing wall in Sonny's den to make it easier for her to scale the walls searching for random DVD's? Will anyone explain to me how Jax went from kissing Carly on New Year's Eve to tickle fight with Kate in her office the next day without blinking? Will Lourdes hire Johnny to be her personal music teacher?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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