It's a little too little a little too late…
For the Week of December 8, 2008
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Elizabeth finally gets it. No really, she does. Liz has always been a little slow on the uptake.

Elizabeth finally gets it. No really, she does. Liz has always been a little slow on the uptake. Back when Liz was married to Rick, he kidnapped Carly and had her chained to a wall in their "panic room". It took Elizabeth a really long time to finally push the button that opened the door to that room. She always kind of knows something funny is going on, but works to drown out the voice in her head that warns her to run away.

After everyone, everyone, everyone told her that Jason was dangerous for her and her kids, including Jason himself, she finally understood and accepted it when the Russians stole Jake.

Although I don't think she really understands the full ramifications which is evidenced by the fact that she left home and her other kid, the one who was NOT kidnapped by Russians so she could go to her art studio and cut up her paintings with a letter opener. Yeah, that's an emergency alright. That had to be done right away.

Did it dawn on her that Patrick was unarmed and not trained in mob wars? Did she consider that when she was out walking around town in the dark she could have been taken hostage leaving Cam with no brother and no Mom? I don't think she did. I bet the next time Robin asks Patrick if he will go and check on Elizabeth, Patrick with say HELLLL no.

Of course Elizabeth's angst might be too late. Jason and Sam worked valiantly to try to retrieve Jake from his captors. But just about the time they killed all the Russians, the one with a remaining puff of breath hit the button and blew the place up with everyone still inside. I don't think they will kill off Jason and Sam, but I am not so sure about Jake.

I hate to say it, but GH has turned into a major bummer. Nothing happy hardly ever happens to anyone. Kids are kidnapped, end up in comas or die. Families are blown apart right and left. As soon as one mob family gets blown away, another shows up for a fresh new round of violence. And ABC wonders why The Young and The Restless have been @ # 1 for 1036 weeks. I can't say for sure, but it MIGHT be because every episode doesn't end in a gunfight.

Of course, not everyone shares my opinion. I got a letter last week from a bunch of college girls who told me I just take issue with the bloodshed and violence because I am old. I pray to God that someone their age has a problem with bloodshed too, or the world is in for an ugly future.

Speaking of an ugly future…Nikolas is in for a very bizarre existence should he actually marry into Nadine's family of inbreeders. (I got that word from a Pauly Shore movie. I know it's not real.)

Nadine's kin folk sure are colorful. Aunt Raylene seems to have a good share of common sense, but the rest of them are just loopy. Run Nikolas. You're a prince. You can find another woman who is cute quirky instead of annoying quirky. I just know it. Or better yet, hook up with Liz. She will shortly be in need of a castle to hide her and the boys.

Or perhaps the new Mrs. Corinthos could use some sexual healing from Prince Nik since her new husband is uninterested in consummating their marriage. I can hardly wait until they have the big Sausage and Peppers t Tournament. I can't decide which one of the 4 babes Sonny will go for - Kate, Connie, Claudia or Carly. Maybe all of them. When you're THAT potent, you might require multiple lovers.

On the up side, Sarah J, Brown signed a new contract through 2010, so we will have the fascinating character of Claudia around for awhile. That's the good news. But if they relegate her to being the newest woman that Sonny chases out of the room when he wants to discuss business, it will be a waste of enormous talent.

Tracy had high hopes of divorcing Luke, but got sidetracked in the Dominican Republic by Luke when he showed up uninvited to try to win her back. Sorry, I saw Luke and Laura fall in love and no one can convince me they won't end up together again someday. I liked Luke with Tracy just fine while Laura was in a coma. But now? Not so much. I want more Laura. I'm a Laura whore. There, I said it.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Carly announce Kate as Connie to the entire cocktail party? Will Jason reconcile with Sam just so he can have some backup at his next shootout? Will Robin's baby ever stop crying when Robin is around? Will Santa know where to take Jake and Cameron's toys? Will Lucky change his name when he realizes how ill fitting it is? Will Maxie buy Lulu a new dress for Christmas and then keep it?

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