The bride wears black…
For the Week of December 1, 2008
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Married in black, you will wish yourself back.

"Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you'll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you'll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen, Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you'll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink."

Even Elvira wouldn't really get married in black. Talk about your bad omens. I understand the symbolism that causes the powers that be at ABC to dress Claudia in black and to dress Elizabeth in white. Claudia is a bad girl with a dark side. Elizabeth is an angel of goodness and light. Yeah, we get it. But having Claudia get married in black was just too cheesy. Even red would have been better. Sure, this was a business arrangement; a marriage of convenience between Sonny and the Zacharra family. But even people in sham weddings try to make it look real.

Sonny must be emanating pheromones out the ying yang. He has Olivia, Claudia, Kate and Carly all dancing about him. But Claudia won the luck of the draw for the moment. No doubt they will eventually sleep together. If Sonny's magic sperm impregnate Claudia it will be harder for Anthony to follow through with his plan of taking Sonny out to make room for Johnny if a grandchild is in the mix. No wait, I take that back. Anthony treats his own daughter like trash so why would he revere a child of hers? Of course Johnny said he didn't want anything to do with this plan and refused to stay for the wedding in spite of Claudia's heartfelt pleas. You'd think he would be a bit more loyal after she lied to get him out of a murder rap. But, the wedding went on without Johnny, and a guest list of people who either despise Sonny or Claudia, or both. How festive!

As Sonny prepared to marry Claudia, Jax was across town hooking up with Kate while Carly peeped around the corner watching it unfold in horror. So, both of Carly's obsessions were out of her reach for a night. Maybe Jerry will wash up on shore and Carly can get even with Jax by having a night of unbridled passion with his scum ball brother.

Carly's normal inclination would have been to make a beeline for Jason, but Jason is a little busy right now. Spinelli did some geek magic with Interpol and got Jason sprung form jail, and he rushed to the cabin to check on Sam and Elizabeth. Sadly, he arrived too late. Elizabeth had already been sullied by having to kill a man to save Sam's life, and Jake had already been kidnapped by the vile Russian mobsters.

I was enjoying the girl bonding at the cabin between Liz and Sam up until the bloodshed began. I also like the friendship brewing between Olivia and Carly. Carly hasn't had a true girlfriend since Courtney died. Carly and Olivia are very believable together. Some of the girl friendships on the show seem so contrived. When they were doing those Girls Night Outs with Robin and her gal pals, it seemed contrived and unnatural. But Carly and Olivia have a great rhythm to their banter, it seems easy and real.

I want to talk about tradition. Everyone has things they do, or watch that makes them feel Holiday-iscious. GH had a tradition for many years of the big Quartermaine Thanksgiving, which always entailed something drastic happening to their turkey and required they order pizza delivery. It was funny. We came to look forward to the antics, and to seeing all our old familiar faces around the table for a day, just like in our own families.

But now, the Quartermaine family, one of the core families of the show, has been dismantled. Emily, AJ and Alan were killed off. Ned and Dillon were shipped away. Edward and Monica make occasional appearances. Tracy is only visible when Luke's in town. And all the other families who might have shared Thanksgiving, like Sonny, Carly and their kids, Lucky, Liz and their kids, and the Spencer clan have all been all split up or are involved in some sort of crisis.

So we lost our tradition and were instead given a hearty helping of Robin's nap and dream sequences about "What ifs" in the relationship between her and Patrick. It left me feeling hungry for some Quartermaine leftovers from days gone by. But, maybe some of you really loved it - I would be happy to hear your thoughts.

As to me, I am thankful for you, dear readers. Your kind words and encouraging notes never fail to brighten my days. I love it when you tell me I made you laugh. I love it when you tell me I moved you to tears. I even love it when you disagree with and tell me very passionately why my opinion is wrong. Your pour yourselves into my life and it blesses me every day.

What will happen tomorrow? Will Maxie's issue of Crimson kick Kate's issues butt in sales? Will Sonny start calling Anthony Daddy? Will Spinelli have to dress up like a Christmas Elf at the GH Christmas party this year to get back on Mac's good side? Will Lulu and Johnny run away and hole themselves up in his old piano teachers place and have Christmas with jailbait Lourdes? Will Eli Love try to woo Anna back by singing Christmas Carols?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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