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 Two Scoops: October 20, 2008 columns
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Confessions of a mobster drama king
For the Week of October 20, 2008
Sonny has been a vast source of amusement for me lately. I know that he’s not supposed to be comical but he is.
Hi everyone, Tamilu asked me to fill in for her for the next couple of weeks while she takes some much needed time off. So before you fire off emails demanding to know if I had Tamilu whacked, I want to be clear, I did not.


Sonny, on the other hand, would have. The man is positively itching to kill someone.


Sonny has been a vast source of amusement for me lately. I know that he’s not supposed to be comical but he is. He has become a walking stereotype of himself, as odd as that may sound. At any given moment, I half expect him to yell out "You are dead to me!"


Just as a side note, I recently read that it’s an urban myth, that Sonny ever actually uttered those famous words to someone on the show. I however I don’t believe it. I could have sworn I’ve heard him say that to someone: probably Carly, possibly Brenda.


Back to Sonny, the mobster drama king. Between his yelling, childish demands, laughable excuses and nonsensical logic, it’s difficult to take him seriously. He is so eager to get back into the mob that he is willing to use any excuse. A month or so ago his justification was to protect Jason. He wanted to control Karpov from the inside so that Jason could safely carry on business. When that blew up in his face, he floundered a bit until he latched onto a new reason. Kate’s shooting is Sonny’s excuse du jour.


Yes, I know that Sonny suspects Karpov because evidence is pointing to the Russian mobster but Sonny should be savvy enough to realize that things are seldom that obvious in a mob hit. Not when the mobster supposedly responsible isn’t bragging. So instead of seeing Sonny behave in a rational, cool and deadly manner as he tracked the true culprit, we are forced to watch him run around town behaving like a fool. If I don’t laugh, I’d cry. I miss my old Sonny!


I’m not missing Anthony Zacchara though. The other day I watched my favorite show, CSI (the original version). I’m still grieving over Warrick Brown’s death and can’t stand Sarah Sidle but there I was glued to my set and who should I see? Anthony Zacchara . . . er Bruce Weitz. He played some sleazy loan shark who took a gambler’s car and daughter after she couldn’t pay off her debt. I totally cracked up. It was like Anthony Zacchara had a guest shot on CSI! I half-expected Ric to pop into a scene.


Then again Ric was busy running over to his brother’s house and taking advantage of Sonny’s latest snit. And Sonny, of course, is listening to the lying snake. To me, it’s further proof that Sonny isn’t in this to avenge Kate’s shooting. The very fact that Ric is at Sonny’s house, pushing Sonny into going to war with Jason, should have told Sonny all he needed to know. Namely, that everything that has been going on has Anthony’s stink all over it. Sadly it didn’t though. Sonny just nodded, taking it as further confirmation that he was doing the right thing.


If Jason were smart, he’d just pack Sonny off to Shadybrook for a little while. It seems to be the in place to be. Not only is Lulu there, getting some seriously creepy medication, but now Spinelli has been admitted. Into a padded room with a straight-jacket no less!


I howled as Spinelli just rambled on in his usual manner while the doctor became more and more convinced that Spinelli was certifiable. It was written and played to perfection and Bradford deserves a big hand for his performance.


By the way, did anyone else notice the woman in the background during that scene? Apparently she got the memo that the latest fashion accessory for this season’s best disguise is a pair of black rimmed glasses because, I’m quite sure that was Laura!


If you don’t like spoilers, skip this paragraph. If so, read on. From what I’ve heard, Laura is indeed wide awake and was not a part of Looloo’s imagination. Yes, I know it’s "Lulu" but Anthony’s version is just too funny not to use. Word is Laura is going to usher Luke off the show for the last time. It seems Tony Geary is done with the four days a year that he works, and is leaving the show. My reverent prayers are that Laura and Tracy kick him to the curb for the last time and he slinks out of town with his tail tucked between his legs. However, rumors suggest that Luke and Laura will ride off happily into the sunset and live forevermore in wedded bliss. The idea makes me want to vomit a bit in my mouth given how horribly Luke has treated his kids and the women he claimed to love. However, to quote the Stones, "you can’t always get what you want."


Elizabeth is learning that lesson these days too. Luckily, she's willing to compromise.


In one of my favorite Liason scenes, Elizabeth called Jason and asked to see him. Jason showed up as if he expected armed gunmen to be standing over Liz’s broken body. When she started talking about painting the studio, the look on his face was priceless. It was such a Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus moments. I loved that he took off his jacket and stayed to paint. And I loved that he admitted that the reason he tumbled off of that ladder was because he was distracted by her beauty.


Why, oh why, can’t Jason leave the mob to be with the woman he that he loves? Yes, I know that they’ve made some horrible choices and mistakes but they’ve paid the price. They’ve been apart and longing for each other for over a year now. Sam and Lucky not only have moved on but they have found happiness and love. Why can’t Liz and Jason have the same happily ever after? Sure they hurt the ones that they loved, but they were hurt too. Let us not forget that Lucky was a philandering drug addict while Sam let a baby be kidnapped and hired goons to terrorize a woman and her children in a park. No one was without sin so why must Jason and Liz continue to pay for theirs?


Speaking of Sam, she is in a pickle, isn’t she? Or, should I say a steamy hot tub with mommy dearest’s beau. I’m going to be honest, but I’m not going to blame Alexis for being upset. I’m quite sure as her eyes are taking in Jerry and Sam kissing in the tub of love, she was having vivid flashbacks of Sam and Ric rolling around on her living room. How could she not?


I won’t judge Alexis by her reaction because her anger at witnessing that kind of betrayal twice is more than a person should have to bear. What will matter is how she will feel about the incident after Lucky and Sam tell her the truth. If Alexis remains resentful then I will be disappointed. Sam’s methods might be questionable, but her heart is in the right place. In addition, Sam has the full support of her boyfriend so it’s not as if she’s in this alone.


Before I sign off, I just want to weigh in with my vote for the Scrubs baby’s name. I have to agree with Patrick. Georgie Rose does sound like a stripper’s name. My deepest apologies to all of you Georgie Roses out there, but I prefer Alyssa Rose.


Until next time dear readers, take care.


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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