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 Two Scoops: December 17, 2007 columns
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Why don't they ever listen?
For the Week of December 17, 2007
Imagine if you will that your sister whom you have known for your entire life, and who has always had your best interest at heart is warning you that the boyfriend you met as he was holding you hostage in a ski mask may be dangerous and trying to kill you.
Imagine if you will that your sister whom you have known for your entire life, and who has always had your best interest at heart is warning you that the boyfriend you met as he was holding you hostage in a ski mask may be dangerous and trying to kill you. Why would you doubt your sister and believe the masked gunman you're sleeping with? Soap characters and those in horror films always ignore warnings of impending danger. If your Dad was the Police Commissioner and the "Text Message (Serial) Killer" text messaged you, wouldn't your FIRST impulse be to call your Daddy and say "Hey Dad, I think if you set up a sting in the park, that's where the creep says he will be! Get some cop to disguise herself as me!"? But she didn't call her Dad and get the cops involved; she went to the killer's intended destination alone and told no one. Oh Georgie, my darling girl, how can someone so smart me so dumb?

Maxie is working hard to set a romantic mood and lounging in Sam's hot tub awaiting a lover who will most likely arrive with her sister's blood on his hands. After Georgie is gone, then what? Will Maxie finally believe Georgie's suspicions, or will she let Coop comfort her in her grief and keep her eyes wide shut?

Moving along to other stupid choices, let's imagine that you have just been to a ball where a madman has killed and maimed people all evening, and that you were nearly a victim. Imagine that another killer is still roaming around free, which you know because another cute blonde chick was nearly strangled in her own home. Imagine everyone you know has warned you to be careful and stop meandering around the docks alone. But say! Imagine that a dark brooding (but cute) unstable mob boy supposedly left you a hastily scrawled note with Bic pen on a sheet of notebook paper at the Hospital desk that said "Meet me on the docks at 7 PM, you know, when it's really dark and deserted?" Okay, I embellished what the note said, but seriously, how dumb can Lulu be?

And Sonny, the King of Bodyguards who insists on all of his babes having their own army for protection, goes out with the entirely untrustworthy Trevor, who has loathed him since childhood, alone and unguarded. Surely he would have known better right? Surely Jason is hiding in the plants someplace in that lobby with his own site set on Trevor's thug's head?

Dear readers, this has been a banner week for careless choices.

We had some great comedy thrown at us this week - brought on by yet another stupid choice. Monica, still grieving the loss of her daughter Emily, insists she perform bypass surgery on Luke only to freezes in the operating room. Luke "dies" in the table and descends into Luke's own twisted and (Very funny) version of Hell where he is an old decrepit man with a hearing aid, Lucky is a by the book cop with a weasely moustache, who claims that Luke is his partner, and Lulu has a passel of kids by Logan, which of course makes Scott Baldwin his in-law. In Luke's version of Hell, Scott is rich and successful, and has stolen Tracy away. Mac Scorpio is his plaid wearing golf buddy, and Leslie is decked out on Groovy gear from the 70's and proclaims to Luke that Disco is back, which causes him to shriek in horror. This was most likely funniest to those of us who have watched GH long enough to remember Luke's stint at The Campus Disco. : Luke's guide on this journey into the afterlife is Skye all in white, looking for gorgeous than I've ever seen her before, and let's face it, she's always stunning, so kudos to wardrobe, hair and make up for making her even more heavenly.

Will Luke's glimpse into his eternal future make him clean up his act and settle down? Oh, let's hope not. He still has some more adventures in him, or at least I hope he does. I saw Genie Francis on the View last week looking downright radiant and declaring she'd love to come back to GH and has told ABC as much, but they haven't made her an offer. So, let me make sure I have this right…The Powers That Be are not only killing off characters we like, and bringing in characters we don't like to replace them, but they are also withholding from us the most popular female character GH has ever had? Tell me how this makes sense? Think of the current canvas…Laura is connected to most everyone on it - Lucky, Luke, Lulu, Scott, Liz, Sonny, Bobbie, Monica, Edward, Robin, etc. She has history with all of these characters, and would be such a tremendous addition to the show. Imagine her finding out about Luke's marriage to Tracy. Imagine her finding out that Scott killed Rick. Imagine her talking to Edward about losing Lila and Alan, etc. The possibilities are endless. Maybe the Text Message Killer will rub out No Name Nurse and Leyla so the GH Budget will be able to afford Genie.

Some of my other favorite comedic moments this week featured the ever endearing Spinelli. One exchange I must note that had such perfectly executed delivery I almost cired… Diane wished aloud that she could get her hands on Johnny's police records and when they magically appeared in her hands via Spinelli, she says "How did you get these?" "He looks downright stunned that she has to ask… "I'm the Jackal. I rule the internet." The look on his face when he delivered that line made me laugh so hard I had to pause my Tivo so I wouldn't miss the rest of the scene. Spinelli (the extremely gifted Bradford Anderson) also had a great moment with Jason on Friday. Can you believe that poor brain-damaged Jason catches on that Georgie likes Spinelli before he does? That's how obvious she is! But as Jason tells Spinelli that Georgie likes him, you see his mind trying to wrap himself around that concept. It's visibly making it's way across his face. About 5 minutes later, he is obviously still puzzled and says to Jason "Just -- shifting to a topic of a more egocentric nature -- when you said that Georgie liked me, did you mean "like" as in "like"? He couldn't imagine it, he couldn't grab hold of it, and he was just so precious as he tried to envision what a brainy beauty like Georgie would see in him. Very sweet.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Lucky and Sam realize it would make more sense for her to move into his giant house rather than him moving into her tiny apartment? Will Tracy kick Monica out of her own house for letting Luke die on the operating table? Will Johnny and Jason both shoot Trevor simultaneously and not know which one killed him and have to form a truce? Will Luke take up golfing when he gets better so he can hang out with Mac? Will Alexis and Diane get into a catfight over some pumps? Will Santa find any nice people in Port Charles, or are they all naughty?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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