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 Two Scoops: December 10, 2007 columns
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The happy phantom
For the Week of December 10, 2007
One of my astute readers pointed out that the Q's that are dead seem happier than those that are alive. She's absolutely right.
One of my astute readers pointed out that the Q's that are dead seem happier than those that are alive. She's absolutely right. Ever since Ghost Emily has been Mostly Dead, she's standing at Nik's side grinning like a monkey and fawning over him and that cut above his eye that may never heal as two weeks later it's still oozing blood. Alan all comfy in his jogging suit beams every time someone walks into a room. He was never that happy to see anyone when he was alive. What are they feeding those ghosts these days?

No idea, but I sure hope Luke doesn't join them anytime soon. Dr. Julian says Luke's heart can't take one more heart attack, and frankly, I can't take Luke having one more heart attack either. 3 heart attack scenes in 2 weeks are plenty. Okay, we get it. Luke has a bad heart. Maybe they are trying to show us that it will take a plethora of heart attacks to make Luke stop hitting the sauce. I don't know, but enough already. Rumors are that Luke is going to die on the operating table and have an otherworldly encounter with Hell. Wow, it must be Christmas, with all these joyous storylines. (In case you didn't catch it; that was sarcasm.) Of course, Geary will take whatever they write and make the most of it, so I am looking forward to it, but even so, there has been an awful lot of death, mayhem and heartache on GH lately, and not a whole lot of Love in the Afternoon.

I LOVED the scene with Luke and Bobbie when she tells him she can't imagine life without her big brother. I actually cried. I remember the first day Luke showed up in town with his wild perm. Back when Bobbie was not a highly respected nurse, but a hooker desperately trying to start a new life. Bobbie was a young woman always looking over her shoulder praying that no one would find out about her past. Luke protected and defended her at every turn. Their relationship in those days made me sorry I was an only child, as the whole brother/sister bond seemed amazing and strong. It was nice to see the writers' acknowledge that and it's sad that the younger viewers of GH don't often get to witness their relationship firsthand.

This would be a great time for Laura to wake up from her vegetative state to come and talk sense into Luke. He may love Tracy, but Laura's the only person who ever had any influence on him. She was in many ways, his savior.

Lulu is trying to fill that role for Johnny Zacharra, too - but he seems hell bent on taking over his Dad's mob holdings. He thinks he has no choice, and that makes me ache for him. I have friends in similar situations (No, not Mob Bosses) but people who think they are bound by the bad choices their families have made, who can't seem to escape the grip of their dysfunctional upbringings. I hope Lulu can use whatever influence she has to help Johnny see the light.

Maxie may never see the light again, as when we left off with Friday's episode she had that familiar strangling cord around her neck. My guess is that the strangler is Coop. I have heard many theories, but he's the character who seems the most expendable. I don't think his character has really caught on with viewers. I get letters every day from my wonderful readers, and have not gotten one letter ever saying "Boy, I sure do love that Coop, he's my favorite character." He's even less interesting than Maxie's last boyfriend Jesse. I think they had a storyline in mind for him which was never developed. His last name was Barrett, so when he first appeared and we saw the woman all bandaged up also named Barrett, we were teased with the possibility that he was somehow related to Brenda - but that whole thing was dropped and never pursued and they really don't have much for Coop to do. And when Maxie was being questioned and Coop was coaching her not to give the cops any details - well, I did the soap math and came up with him as the strangler. Or so I think. Of course, if you keep up on the rumors, you know that Maxie is not going to be the Jones' girl that dies; sadly it is rumored to be her baby sister Georgie. I am very sad to hear she is leaving. Lindze Letherman has been a gift since the first day she arrived. Her relationship with Dillon was one of the sweetest and dorkiest love stories GH ever told. I was crazy about the two of them together. The Powers That Be continue to weed out their cast, killing off characters we love, while simultaneously pushing characters we could care less about (Like Leyla and No Name Nurse) down our throats. I will never, ever understand the casting choices the networks make. I have heard a rumor they may do a Night Shift part 2 and I hope they do, but not because I want to watch it, only because I want to get rid of the uninteresting characters they brought over to GH when it ended. I don't want all my favorite characters killed off to make room for new characters I am not invested in. Leyla and Nadine are not an even trade for Emily and Georgie.

Speaking of Leyla and No Name, the "Girl's Night Out" drinking scene this week was annoying to say the least. First, half of the female staff of GH goes out drinking, leaving the hospital without a staff basically, and then Leyla ends up table dancing because Patrick whom she has gone out with 2 or 3 times still loves Robin… Worse yet was Elizabeth's self righteous tongue lashing of Patrick about what a worthless scumbag he was for not wanting to be a Dad and how he was throwing away a great gift. Well, it's not a gift if you don't want it. To paraphrase an old Gloria Steinem quote, Patrick needs a baby like a fish needs a bicycle.

In San Diego where I live, there are over 8000 kids in foster care. They have a website with kids' stories about their unbelievably hard lives. It's the saddest thing you've ever seen. If only some of *their* parents had realized they weren't cut out to be parents before they had kids an abandoned them, ay? Patrick isn't interested in being a parent, and that doesn't make him a horrible person, it makes him responsible, to my point of view. I kept thinking Robin would stop Liz and say "No, leave him alone, I respect his choice." But she didn't - she said she agreed with every word. The fact that these doctors and nurses go out about once a week and drink to excess is a bit scary. I hope this is not Art imitating Life. I would hate to think someone who was about to assist in or do surgery on me or a loved one had been out the night before drunk our of their mind dancing on tables and puking after pounding shots all night. You'd think at least Laynie, who is a shrink who most likely counsels people about substance abuse would say "You know, 8 shots of tequila really won't solve our problems." But no, she's licking and slamming with the rest of them.

I much prefer Diane and Alexis these days, their competitive legal maneuvering while dishing about designer shoes. They are a delightful pair. The reason they are together is ridiculous, but if it brings them in for comic relief, I'll play along. Kate suing Sonny over 3 inches of property all to get him to call off his guards and assert her independence would ring more true if they hadn't just all nearly died at the hands of the whacko Anthony Zacharra. Kate acts like she doesn't think the danger is serious, in spite of the fact that Leticia and Emily both died, and Carly was nearly strangled, too. If I were Kate, not only would I take Sonny up on his offer of guards, I would be cooking them dinner every night to make sure they knew they were appreciated.

I am not appreciating Lucky this week. I keep hoping Jason will punch his stupid face and grab Liz and her boys and move them all into the Penthouse. Lucky's demand that Jason never sees his son or Liz again is selfish and cruel, and sadly that's what Lucky has become - selfish and cruel. What happened to the gentle sweet Lucky who played guitar and wrote Liz love songs? Of yeah, Jonathan Jackson quit. Not that I don't think Greg Vaughn is fabulous - he's acting out what they write him very well, but the character of Lucky doesn't even resemble it's original incarnation these days. I have given up my pipe dream of Liz and Lucky reuniting as I decided this week I don't even like Lucky anymore. Jason, hit man with the heart of gold, is far more deserving of love, family and happiness.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Alexis keep pretending she doesn't dig Jerry Jacks? Will Ghost Alan get to read the Christmas story from the Bible at the Hospital kids Christmas party? Will Georgie see Ghost Alan and Ghost Emily in the afterworld? Will Luke's tour of Hell convince him to stop boozing it up? Will Logan cave in to Scott's suggestion and join the Police Academy after Coop is outed as a strangler and hostage taker? Will Spinelli's heart truly break when he realizes he missed out on having a real relationship with Georgie far too late? Will we have a week in Port Charles between now and the New Year when one of our favorite characters doesn't die?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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