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 Two Scoops: June 04, 2007 columns
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Trial and error
For the Week of June 04, 2007
The scenes between Luke and Lulu this week were heartbreaking.
If someone put me on the stand and said "Tamilu, I need you to tell me what transpired between Jack and Mary Lou Rorabaugh on their date at the Diamond Grille in 1957. And, remember, you're under oath!" I would say "Beats me, I wasn't BORN yet." Are the writers on crack this week? How in the world could Nikolas testify to something that occurred between Luke and Laura in 1979 when he wasn't even ALIVE yet? Seriously folks, *I* would have been a better witness than Nikolas, I actually WATCHED Luke rape Laura in 1979, and I can assure you, there was no baby Nikolas on the lighted floor of the Campus Disco. In fact, although I never attended law school, I watched a lot of episodes of Ally McBeal, The Practice, and Boston Legal, so I know it would be considered hearsay if you testified to something that you didn't personally witness. And the fact is, the only two people who were present the night Laura was raped were Luke and Laura.

The scenes between Luke and Lulu this week were heartbreaking. Tony Geary just nails it every time, and Julie Marie Berman matches his intensity. They could not have cast a better Lulu if they'd had a million girls audition. Imagine having you most regrettable act come to your child's attention in open court. Ouch. As I watched Luke slowly walk Lulu through what happened that night, I made a mental list of things I have done that I wouldn't want my kids or my parents or anyone to know I had done. I mean, seriously, it's even embarrassing to know that GOD knows the things we have done in our weakest moments, and He's more forgiving than most. And forgiveness is a powerful thing as Luke told Lulu; Laura's forgiveness is the thing that gave him the chance to have a life. Her forgiveness was his salvation.

But all Lulu knows is that her Dad did something awful to her Mom and no amount of words and explanations can erase the pain she's feeling. Will she be able to emulate her Mother and forgive the crime he committed all those years ago? Perhaps, but it will take time for her to reconcile the image of the Daddy she loves with the man who could violate her mother. When we're young, we see the world in black and white. As we age, we realize that every soul has some shades of gray where the good and bad overlap. Lulu's getting her first serious lesson in Gray.

As to Scott Baldwin, I wish he'd focus on Bobbie instead. Her ego must be taking a beating. How must poor Bobbie feel these days when 3 of her old flames are in Port Charles and not one of them even acknowledges her? 1) Dr. Noah Drake, 2) Jerry Jax, and 3) Scott Baldwin were at one time or another smitten with Bobbie. Bobbie is Carly's Mom, why hasn't Jerry said "You know I was in love with your Mom once." Or have Bobbie stop by Carly's and slap him in his Plastic Face and ask him how dare he take her daughter hostage and terrorize her? Noah and Bobbie work at the same hospital, instead of a scene where Noah is being bossy to Robin and Patrick, why not have Noah and Bobbie go out to dinner and reminisce about the old days with some cheesy flashbacks? Last but not least, Scott- the two of them have a 30 year long history, and although the writers did give them a 2 minute exchange outside the courtroom- I bet if they thought about it, they could give them an actual storyline together. *Sigh.*

Here's a question for you, dear readers, don't people get plastic surgery to get RID of wrinkles and lines in their face? Did Jerry pay good money to get more wrinkles? I have seen the old Jerry Jacks on the phone ads, and he doesn't have that many wrinkles. He must have gone to Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon. It's a wonder he still has a nose. What are the odds that Jerry Jacks got plastic surgery and ended up looking like terrorist James Craig? Who actually believes this?

If a man is so vile as to commit the crimes Jerry has been charged with, why wouldn't they strap him down in GH and do a DNA test while he waited rather than send the dripping O.J. vile of blood across town leaving it open to theft or tampering? If we ever catch Bin Laden, I sure hope we don't just ask him for a sample of his hair and let him go back to his cave until the DNA tests are completed so we're scientifically SURE he's Bin Laden… This whole thing is retarded.

Every time Jerry orders a waffle in the hotel and some staff member passes out, it just gets more and more ludicrous. THE WHOLE TOWN KNOWS HE IS MR. CRAIG. And the promise that there would be some big revelation to explain how Jerry got to be this way fizzled, in my humble opinion. So he let his girlfriend die to save his own skin? Well, sure, that would make you look at yourself and realize you were a creep, but it certainly wasn't the first time Jerry dumped a woman to save his own skin, so why did it turn him into a psychopath this time? Speaking of psycho's, Sam's "You better give me a baby or else" rant bordered on Serious Nut Job, too. Maybe Mr. Craig and Sweet Sam should hook up - she could get some good Jacks family DNA, a baby, and someone to blackmail for money. All the things she wants most. Rumor has it that Amelia will let it slip to Sonny during some pillow talk (Or desk talk as it may be) about Sam's gold digging past. Said rumor suspects that Sonny will warn Jason that all Sam ever wanted from her relationships with Jax, Sonny and Jason were new candidates to swindle. Sounds about right to me, she seems to think about herself most every minute of every day. When's the last time she called Alexis to see how she's doing with her cancer? When's the last time she visited with her baby sister? Christmas? Don't get me wrong, I think Kelly Monaco is fabulous, this is in no way a slam on her acting - she does a wonderful job with what they give her, but they keep writing Sam to be more and more desperate instead of having her be strong and confront Jason face to face with the fact that's he's the father of Liz's baby. I'd much rather see her ask him face to face for the truth instead of all the stupid games and manipulation.

Okay, enough ranting for now; here are some other things I loved this week. Spinelli and Sonny. In fact, I love them every week. The scenes between the two of them were High Comedy. Sonny simply does NOT get Spinelli. The lines the writers are writing for these two are just brilliant. I don't know how they even get through them without cracking up. In case you missed it, here's one of my favorite exchanges of the week:

"Spinelli: Uh -- it's a most, um, complicated situation we have. Um -- in fact, one might say it's reminiscent of a Greek tragedy. In fact, it's almost identical to the myth of the sun god Apollo. Um- see, Apollo was -- yes, Apollo was conceived, um, when his daddy, Zeus, had a lustful encounter with this really tasty chick named Leto. And, um, she was on -- she had this kid on the isle of Delos, which was being tossed hither -- hither and yon -- huh -- by winds and waves. Um, and -- but, see, the thing was when she decided to call Delos her home, all of a sudden it morphed into this beautiful land of -- of bounty, which is kind of -- which is -- which is kind of foreshadowing because -- because, see, some online hackers think that Apollo was -- was the god of civilization. And I think it was, um -- yeah, yeah, I think it was the -- the scholar skulldeath -- the hacker skulldeath that said actually -- ow! Oh!

Sonny: I don't know if you're doing this to deflect me or you just can't help being a freak, but whatever you're saying doesn't tell me what's wrong with Jason. You got 60 seconds --

Spinelli: Ahem.

Sonny: To learn English and spill your guts, otherwise I will spill them for you."

Spinelli is always blathering on and on and Sonny always looks like he wants to snap him in half. They make a great comic duo- like DeNiro and Stiller in Meet the Parents. I hope they're having as much fun working together as I am watching them.

I also loved the scene between Liz and Jason - where she contemplates the fact that perhaps she keeps lying about her life and her baby's paternity simply because she doesn't want to look bad and have people know what a mess she's made of her life. Sometimes we make mistakes, we sin, we make choices that make sense at the time, but then later… not so much. While we can live with what we've done, sometimes we cannot live with how others will judge us for it. We can accept that God forgives and move on, but we can't accept the responsibility of humiliating our families or shaming our children or letting go of our reputations of being "really nice girls." And Liz is considered a good girl. So if she tells the truth about sleeping with Jason and getting pregnant with his baby, no matter how justified she was in making that choice in the moment that she made it, people will change their opinion of who she is- they will toss aside her entire lifetime of honorable behavior and define her whole character by one moment of weakness, and she isn't sure she can live with that. Certainly safety is a big factor - she doesn't want people knowing Jake belongs to Jason for his own protection, but it's deeper than that for Liz - her character is on the line and she's not entirely ready to part with her stellar reputation. Now of course, it's gotten far more complicated as Lucky just showed up to arrest Jason and Liz is protesting. Will the truth finally come out, reputation be damned?

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Skye pretend to mourn for Lorenzo while Ghost Alan tosses down some thunder? Will Ric suggest Molly and Lila Rae have a play date? Will Amelia's cameraman fake being another one of Sam's ex boyfriends as she has apparently slept with so many men she can't recognize their voices anymore? Will Spinelli get some orange soda to flush Sonny's booze from his system? Will Jason get an Olympic Gold Medal for Marksmanship for being able to shoot a cable on a moving helicopter and destroy Kate's Very Special Statue?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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