Nanny McFreak had to temporarily cripple Prince Nikolas, waiting for him to recognize her "sterling qualities." Hmmm. What might those be? Spock eyebrows? Being able to slash a horse saddle with a steak knife? Poisoning a sweet old butler without a trace of poison showing up in medical tests? The ability to stay firmly under a beach umbrella all summer? Remembering that Nik digs ham on his sandwiches instead of turkey? Lying about her imaginary brothers' imaginary intervention? Keeping a supply of Huggies on hand so baby Spencer doesn't leak on the expensive heirloom furniture at Wyndemere?
She does think quick on her feet though, I'll give her that. Just as Alfred and Emily were about to put 2 and 2 together and come up with her name as a possible suspect in the poisoning scam, Colleen darted in with some lie about Helena accosting her on the docks. Say, has anyone else ever heard of a student just out of med school who had to attend a medical seminar in Athens Greece for two weeks? Um, me neither. Colleen had to quickly switch gears from the Helena on the docks lie to the pretending to be a matchmaker for Nik and Em lie.
Of course, Colleen couldn't have been on the docks, as that is where Lorenzo was hanging out to put all the people he is annoyed with in a choke hold. All these actions in the name of finding Skye and his unborn baby from the guy who was able to find Carly 50 times no matter where she went. Maybe he's slipping in his old age. Before Lucky went to rehab, there was a solid police presence on the docks, but with Lucky out of commission, it seems Mac hasn't been able to cover that beat as in one day; Lorenzo had Ric, Robin, and Robert Scorpio all in chokeholds with nary a cop in sight. Maybe Lucky's partner got suspended for helping Lucky by snatching Jason's file.
Jason doesn't have to worry about Lucky trying to frame him this week; instead he has to worry about whether or not he's a Daddy. Liz finally came clean and confirmed to Jason that he could be the father of her child, at Emily's urging. Jason is concerned for the safety of the child given his dangerous lifestyle, but even so, after a little thinking expressed to Liz that if the baby is his, he'd be willing to marry her. Liz looked a little shocked by that suggestion. Where will it lead? Liz is very confused right now, on one hand, missing Lucky, but being unwilling to be hurt by him anymore until he gets himself clean. She even attended an Al-Anon meeting with Patrick this week, which helped give her permission to consider herself valuable and not always put Lucky's needs before her own and Cameron's. On the other hand, Jason is pretty appealing too, other than that whole being a hit man thing…
In the meantime, Lucky is sitting in rehab at Shadybrook, and doing some very poignant acting. Who knew that Shadybrook had a 12- step rehab clinic just across the hall from Laura where any Skanky Ho who wants to see you can just come busting into your room after visiting hours? When Maxie came bursting in, unwanted and unwelcome, Lucky was writing Liz beautiful heartfelt letters trying to win her back and convince her that he is changing and getting clean from drugs. Adding into his renewed hope is the unexpected news from Robin that his Mom, long in a vegetative state, might be cured. Wanting to be at his best when she finally awakens, Lucky is determined for her to come back to see a son she can be proud of. But, hey, this is a soap opera after all, so things can't be that smooth. Just as Lucky is beginning to feel positive and hopeful, Skanky Ho comes in and tells him that she is pregnant with his baby. Is she really pregnant? I don't know, but the fact that she was reading magazine articles about "Celebrity Bumps" signals to me she might be trying to find out how to make herself LOOK pregnant. Have I mentioned how much I hate what they have done to the character of Maxie? If she really is pregnant and has to give birth by caesarian, maybe she can get another invisible scar to go with the two scars we can't see from her heart transplant and open heart surgery.
Lulu is judging Maxie, Maxie is judging Lulu, Georgie is judging both of them while prancing around Kelly's in her "Everyone loves brunettes" t-shirt - and I can't decide if she really believes that, or is just trying to convince herself? Dillon is still sporting the Wall Street Ken doll look, and has himself convinced who he was before was all an act. God I hope not. We need more Dillon's in the world, nerdy film buffs with creative vision and personal fashion sense, and crazy hair and big dreams. Give me Dillon over 100 suits. I can't decide if he is punishing himself over Lulu's abortion, or if he actually has himself convinced he needs to be what his family wants him to be as penance. It's difficult to allow yourself to live the life you want when you feel you don't deserve it and have a sick need to punish yourself. How do I know that? I just do.
The Enduro Condom scandal is just about to heat up and Dillon asked Lulu to keep quiet, but being her father's daughter, she loudly refused to play dead to protect the Quartermaine's. Now with Liz, Lulu, and Maxie pregnant, there is going to be quite the baby boom at GH. Hopefully they will hire another OB/GYN before all the blessed events, as otherwise poor Dr. Meadows will really have her hands full. But wait…she retired. And of course, we had one other couple who had unprotected sex that week, Sam and Ric. Imagine if Sam ends up pregnant, she will have a daughter who is both her sister's half-sister and her niece. This family tree is getting pretty tangled. Personally, Sam is driving me nuts, so I don't care what happens to her at this point. Jason is in some life or death Mob meeting with Bernie (Not to be confused with Benny - HA!) and Sam calls and tells him she must see him NOW and that it's URGENT. Jason, not realizing she's crying wolf leaves his business meeting to meet her on the secret hospital roof rendezvous point, as Sam doesn't have enough backbone to tell her Mom she is still speaking to Jason. Turns out the dire urgent meeting was called so she can explain why Ric's hand was on her knee. Hey Sam, that wasn't an emergency. Your house burning down would be an emergency, but some dude's hand on your knee is not a reason to call Jason 911.
Sonny keeps calling Carly 911, mostly to irk Jax and keep the two of them apart. His ploy to irritate Alexis into agreeing to chemo worked though, as the thought of Carly raising her daughter sent Alexis crawling back to the doctor to change her mind. Jax is a patient man and is willing to play along if it means saving Alexis' life. Jax watching Alexis die and examining his own life was the motivation he needed to finally act and confess his true heart to Carly. They have danced around it before, but Jax and Carly finally expressed their love to one another openly, eyes wide open this week. They are truly willing to dive into this love head first even knowing the obstacles they will have to overcome. I like that about them. It's too easy sometimes to let fear get a stranglehold on us and paralyze us. My Dad used to say the opposite of love isn't hate, but fear - and he's right in that. Fear keeps us from loving, fear builds walls instead of bridges, fear convinces us that love is too risky and so all the love we hold inside has no place to go because we're to scared to make ourselves vulnerable enough to use it and give it as it was intended. Jax and Carly have overcome their fears and in doing so, the promise of love shines brightly like a star inside them making their faces glow with hope and joy.
Edward Q has no glow inside him right now - he's drunk and angry and antagonizing Lorenzo which could leave him as the next person to get hooked by goons on the docks. It's good to see the vets this week, John Ingle is always a delight to watch, and we also got some actual lines from Audrey this week, even though it was merely pleading with Liz to call Lucky on the phone, at least she got to speak. Maybe she can take up drinking, too and she and Edward can have a one-night stand with Enduro Condoms and have some old people unplanned pregnancy. I saw on the news this year some sold 60-something woman gave birth, so why not Audrey?
What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Lulu's professor irritate her into bed? Will Georgie go crawling back to Diego now that Dillon's lost his quirky charm and gone all respectable on her? Will Sam buy stock in waterproof mascara? Will Sheba kick Colleen and knock her creepy self out of the stables? Will the people of Port Charles ever notice that the docks and hospital corridors aren't a soundproof booth? Will the back of Laura's head have the same hair color of the front of Laura's head when we finally see her face?
Only tomorrow knows dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.