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 Two Scoops: October 2, 2006 columns
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For the Week of October 2, 2006
Hey Lulu, do you want some French toast? 'Why are you asking me that? Is it because I had an abortion?'
Hey Lulu, do you want some French toast? "Why are you asking me that? Is it because I had an abortion? (That one's for you Joe Davis.)

But seriously - Dillon got Clark Kent glasses and some Brill Crème or whatever dudes use to slick down their hair and went all button down on us and decided to drop his film classes and take a whirl at ELQ…And that's his way of dealing with the loss of his child? Well, okay I guess, we all grieve in our own way, just that I never saw anyone grieve by turning into a nerd before. Lulu saw Dillon and blurted out the line above, asking him if he had changed his hairstyle and college major because she had an abortion- which cracked me up - I imagine we're going to be hearing that line a lot, which is why I opened with it. I just wanted you to get used to the sound of it…

Thanks to Dillon, we had an Edward sighting this week and it's always such a pleasure to see John Ingle in action. This was a banner week for GH vets; we actually had scenes with Alan, Audrey, Mac, Monica and Edward - amazing. Of course Noah, Bobbie, Robert, Anna, Holly, Grandma Leslie, and a host of others have been in short supply lately.

Speaking of short supplies, Lucky's pill supply has run dry as Maxie finally got a clue and is no longer going to score pills for Lucky. She summoned Mac to Mercy Hospital to sport her Boo Boo Lip and spin her sad saga of rejection to get Lucky fired. Her ploy worked and Lucky got fired, but through his drug addled brain he really didn't grasp the concept of being fired. As in- turn in your badge and gun and don't try to arrest people anymore. But, Lucky decided he would get back into Mac's good graces by busting Jason, so he tossed a Ziploc bag of cocaine at Jason's feet and held a gun on him demanding Jason touch the bag so he could get prints and frame him. Liz who has an internal GPS that guides her to Her Baby's Daddy(s) knew exactly where to find Lucky and Jason and Lucky fired a shot in her direction nearly killing her and her baby.

I once worked for a cable company. I put in my two week's notice to quit, and 3 days later they "fired" me. Umm…Hello, I already quit. In protest, I went in the day after they "fired" me and pointed out I had turned in my two week's notice prior to them letting me go and that I intended to keep my word and work out my two weeks. Unlike Lucky, I understood that I was fired; I just wanted to cause a scene. Liz caused a scene too as she unintentionally blurted out something about "the baby" and both Lucky and Jason now know her big secret. I am simply amazed they heard her say it directly rather than overhearing her talk about it in the hospital lobby to anyone who passed by.

Poor brain damaged Jason doesn't grasp that he may be the father, as he probably hasn't heard about his family's substandard batch of condoms, so both he and Lucky assumed that Lucky was the father. This snapped Lucky into action and he voluntarily went into rehab vowing to come back a changed man for the sake of his unborn child. Liz told him she wasn't coming to visit and that she wasn't going to be there waiting when Lucky returned which I thought was uncharacteristically cold for Liz. I mean it's not like Lucky is Robert Downey Junior and has been to rehab 14 times, this is the first time he's had a problem like this and he's always been a decent and good man. I hope if he sticks it out and comes back clean Liz will give him another chance.

OTOH, Jason may well be the father of Liz's baby who would indeed complicate matters, and I like Jason and Liz together, too - so whichever way it goes I won't be disappointed. Jason has already volunteered to help Liz, and we all know how wonderful Jason is with kids, so this might be his chance to actually have one of his own. And heck, who knows, maybe Sam is knocked up from her night of passion with Ric.

I used to like Jason and Sam together. I used to hope they would reunite…But now? Sam is far too weepy, needy and generally annoying these days. Between her passive aggressive behavior with Ric, her lying to Alexis by meeting Jason behind pipes on the hospital roof, and her spineless refusal to speak up for herself with her mother, she's lost all that feisty edge she had when she first appeared in Port Charles. When Alexis blamed Sam for the nanny bringing Kristina to visit her in a coma when Sam stepped out for 20 minutes, I couldn't believe my ears. If I were Sam I would have told the doctor to put her back in her coma. And the irony of such a tirade coming from Alexis who usually works 18 hours a day and barely comes home at all, as if SHE would have been around to keep her eye on Kristina 24/7… HA!

Sonny wants to keep his eyes on Carly 24/7, but she has other ideas. She would rather be with Jax, but Sonny is determined to come between them. Tampering with cars and breaking pipes and repair crews who are told to take their time fixing things so he can keep her in his house (Um, you own a hotel, Carly, stop letting him control you.) And here's the thing. While Sonny is unbelievably charming and those dimples of his are incredibly cute, Jax is clearly the better choice simply because he doesn't kill people for a living.

Well, our Young Doctors in Love are back on canvas, and Patrick was treated to a night on the sofa at Casa de Cute Girls as he called it, and Robin's roommates did their best to hover about Patrick and boost his already healthy ego. Not that I blame them, he's still cute even when he's supposed to be sick. I am still mystified about all the rooms that are suddenly in Courtney's old apartment, as when she lived their and was taking in foster kids, they all had to sleep on the sofa as she only had one bedroom. But maybe one of the new roommates has Rosie's old room. Wouldn't it be cool if GH brought back old pets like they do old actors - have a doggie reunion with Foster and Annabelle and introduce them to Rosie? No, of course I am not serious, so please don't write to tell me the lifespan of dogs.

Did I miss something? When Monica was chewing out Emily for not answering her pager, I think she called Emily a "First Year Resident"… Did I not notice Emily finishing med school? As I recall, just a couple of months ago they were threatening to kick her out of school as she was so far behind while she was living at Sonny's. Did she suddenly get all caught up and graduate when we weren't looking?

Here are some random thoughts -

-Ted King is terribly underused. The once a week pop in for he and Ric to discuss taking down Sonny isn't enough Alcazar for me, give the man a real storyline.

- I heard that Maxie is going to end up pregnant, too, and I certainly hope that's not true. -Where is Ned? If you are going to have a character vanish, at least explain it, something like "If only Ned weren't in Ja.k.arta handling ELQ business, he would come be in the hospital visiting you, Alexis"

- A reader suggested a romance between Audrey Hardy and Edward Q and I thought that was a fine idea.

- I love that Morgan Corinthos is finally talking.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Lulu's new professors keep her mad enough to stay the whole semester? Will Edward let Dillon sign checks so he can embezzle funds like AJ did? Will the people in rehab laugh when Lucky says "Hi! I'm Lucky, and I'm an addict."? Will Patrick keep faking the flu so Dr. Lee can feed him more soup in her red silk teddy? Will Georgie still want Dillon now that he's trading in the artsy and edgy thing? Will Diego give up on Georgie to go for Rebound Maxie who is guaranteed to be a sure thing? Will Liz be able to find cute Maternity Scrubs at the P.C. Wal-Mart?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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