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Recalled!
For the Week of August 28, 2006
In the news this week, a gazillion laptop batteries are being recalled, and now apparently, a batch of substandard ELQ condoms, too.
In the news this week, a gazillion laptop batteries are being recalled, and now apparently, a batch of substandard ELQ condoms, too. Just imagine if Ric and Sam used one of the bad condoms. Or maybe Liz and Jason. Or Skanky Ho and Lucky. We could have a whole slew of new babies in Port Charles. ELQ must have really diversified if they are now making condoms. Maybe that's the deal Ned's been working on in Ja.k.arta for the past year that we haven't seen him. Maybe that's a deal AJ made right before he absconded with all the Q loot and headed to the Bahamas to be done in by Rachel. Who knows, but for me, it was quite the revelation that ELQ had branched out into condom making. Is Lulu going to have this baby? She keeps hinting around that she might not want to, but no one is responding. Let me just say straight out, I really hope the writers aren't going to have her abort the baby. That would just break my heart. Hey, I have an idea, give the baby to Aunt Bobbie to raise - now that Lucas is gone she needs something to do. Or better yet, have Dr. Noah Drake and Bobbie sleep together with a substandard ELQ condom and let's have a storyline about an older woman's pregnancy complications.

Several months ago, there were rumors floating about the soap world that GH was actually going to cease being mob-centric, and move back towards it origins - hospital drama. (Thus the title General HOSPITAL) Quite frankly, I didn't believe them. But now - Wow, did the writers ever prove me wrong. We have Sonny's bi-polar storyline, Alexis's lung cancer, and Patrick's AIDS scare culminating this week with April's death, Lulu's pregnancy, and several people having therapy sessions with Lainey. And, just to keep real, we keep running into the obnoxious 'by the book' hospital administrator Ms. Sneed and GH has delved into the exploration of uninsured patients receiving inadequate treatment. That's not even taking into account Laura's upcoming storyline, where a woman who has been catatonic for years is going to finally come to, Skye's about to give birth, and we have some more baby Spencer/John medical scenes coming, too.

In the past, I have given Robin's character some bad reviews. But finally, the Robin that I loved in the past has reemerged, and I am delighted to see her. April's death caused something to snap inside of Robin. She has spent so long trying to paint a pretty face on HIV and AIDS for everyone else, reassuring people that she can live a normal life, that when the reality of April's death hit her, she came unglued. She was discouraged and rendered hopeless - they had worked so hard to give April a fighting chance by doing surgery on her, and then to have that hope evaporate was more than Robin could bear. She started flashing back to Stone's death and relived the emptiness, the agony and hopelessness of it all. Robin was all set to withdraw, to go scurrying back into her lab and to rebuild those walls, and keeping her distance from people. She had determined that she would guard her heart against caring too much for someone else who may die before their time, but April left Robin a letter imploring her to keep giving AIDS patients the sort of hope and renewed sense of value that Robin had given her. Armed with a fresh dose of faith and a renewed sense of purpose, Robin scrubbed up and went back into battle to save another patient by assisting Patrick in surgery. Kimberly McCullough shined this week; the tough exterior was betrayed by the pain and weariness we saw in her eyes. She gave Emmy caliber performances this week; I hope I'm not the only one who noticed.

I don't want to choke you on all this sugar, so let's switch gears. I despise Maxie Jones. I hate her. I see nothing redeeming in her character, I can't make any reasonable justifications for her characters behavior, I have no sympathy or compassion for her, I just loathe her. She knows Lucky is addicted to pills and is detoxing, but in order to get him back in bed with her, she goes to a drug dealer and scores some more pills that she waves around under his nose for bait. How sick is that? Not to mention stalking Elizabeth and dipping in on her conversations with Emily.

The co-ed hospital locker room is the 2nd worse place to have a private conversation in Port Charles, the first of course, being the docks. Anytime you have a private conversation on the docks, no doubt the person you would least want to hear said conversation is lurking on the stairway beside the bench on which you are sitting… But lately, the new trend is if you are in the co-ed hospital locker room changing into your scrubs and talking about your deep dark secrets, inevitably, the person you would least want to hear it is lurking on the other side of the lockers with their ear pressed against the wall.

Maybe the best all time lurker is Ric, he always overhears things. He found out that his wife had cancer by lurking in the hallway, although she intended to tell him, his lurking made that unnecessary. Sam has decided to stick around and help her mother battle cancer, and Ric and Sam are promising they will play nice and try to get along for Alexis' sake. Sam is helping out with Kristina and no one has yet noted the irony here - Sam's deceased baby Lila's stem cells are the thing that saved Kristina's life, and now, Sam is getting a hand in raising Kristina. Bittersweet, no? Something that made me laugh this week - Kristina wanted to go for a boat ride on Jason's speedboat, and Jason just happened to have a toddler size life jacket aboard -last time I saw said speedboat they were chasing some drug arms dealers years ago - I hope he didn't have any toddlers with him then. Secondly, Alexis said to Jason "Can you promise me that there won't be anyone shooting at your boat if I let my daughter go for a ride with you?" and Jason says "Yes - I promise she'll be safe." - Um, isn't this the same guy who won't let Sam move back into his penthouse which is surrounded by armed guards because she will be in so much danger? So, no one will try to shoot him out on the open water in a speedboat, but they would in his penthouse which is heavily guarded? C'mon. Be consistent.

Between Alexis's cancer, and Lulu's pregnancy, Nikolas and Emily have a few family situations that keep pushing them closer together, much to my delight. I have always liked the two of them together, and like seeing them move back in that direction. Colleen is not as pleased as I am, and keeps trying to find ways to kill, maim, or discredit Emily. She has not been successful thus far; she's getting to be the Wile E Coyote of Daytime. Maybe next time she rigs up a booby-trap for Emily the box of tools will read "ACME".

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will the back of Laura's head have some great unwed pregnancy advice for Lulu? Will Jason take the business away from Sonny again as he wouldn't let him mess with Lorenzo? Will Max have to see Lainey on a regular basis when Carly comes home with Jax? Will the lady doctors find Rosie's dead doggie skeleton inside when they try to move into Courtney's old apartment? Will Georgie tell Mac that Maxie is a Skanky Drug Pushing Ho and have him ship her off to Texas with Felicia? Will Jason and Liz keep finding reasons to run into one another? (I hope so.)



Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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