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 Two Scoops: June 19, 2006 columns
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Nanny McFreak
For the Week of June 19, 2006
After Nikolas interviewed about a dozen psychotic Nannies', he stumbled upon a candidate who seemed practically perfect in every way, but she sure wasn't Mary Poppins.
After Nikolas interviewed about a dozen psychotic Nannies', he stumbled upon a candidate who seemed practically perfect in every way, but she sure wasn't Mary Poppins. Colleen seemed like a reasonable choice, but with a fatal flaw; she is secretly working for Helena. Nik hired her not because she came with impeccable references, but because she managed to memorize a poetic line and regurgitate it at the right time. This proves my theory that you can B.S. your way into or out of almost anything if you're skilled with words. Major in English, I promise it will pay off.

The thing Jax feared has already come to pass; Helena has an evil scheme in motion to gain control of baby John. How appropriately time, right on Father's Day weekend, Nikolas finally found out he was John's father; this revelation courtesy of our town busybody and blabbermouth, Robin. Jax may have done the wrong thing, but he did it with the right motives, he wanted to protect Courtney's son from Nikolas's nut-job family. Nikolas was furious, and told Jax in no uncertain terms that HE would be responsible for protecting John from Helena. Well, fine job he's doing so far - his first fatherly decision was the exact wrong one, putting his son in harms way without even knowing. Did he bother to check out Nanny McFreak's references?

For those who are considering writing me to defend Robin, don't bother. Robin is a self righteous, judgmental, shrew. She didn't choose to tell Nikolas about baby John because he had the right to know, she told him because she hates Carly and was terribly annoyed that Carly looked so hot at the Christening and was holding Jax's arm. (It's a well known fact, everyone is jealous of beautiful blondes, especially uptight little brunettes like Robin.) Robin is vindictive and wanted to hurt Carly. Supposedly Jax is Robin's friend. If she had any kind of decent motive, anything pure in her decision to blab, she would have gone to Jax and said "Jax, my old friend, I want to forewarn you I am going to blow your world apart today and just wanted to give you the heads up." But she didn't - she blurted it out in a moment of anger towards Carly, it gave her great pleasure to stick it to Carly without any thought about John's safety, Jax's loss, or even Nikolas' shock. If someone has a secret and it's not yours to tell, you shouldn't tell it. I work in a church and all day long I find out people's deep dark secrets and anyone on staff could blab their secrets to the universe, but it never even crosses our minds. What sort of person does that? Robin's only motive was "I'm not letting Carly get away with this!" which is spite, pure and simple.

Am I saying Nikolas didn't have the right to know John was his son? Not at all, of course he had a right to know. I am merely saying Robin should have gone to Jax, as his concerned friend and convinced him to tell Nikolas on his own. She should have appealed to his morality and sense of decency and allowed him the chance to handle it in his own way. Robin didn't do that, she may have had the right impulse to make sure Nik knew the truth, but as always, she handled it all wrong. Patrick looked very peeved with her and I'm hoping he blasts her. But, she accomplished her mission- Nikolas knows, and is trying his best to be a good father, but his best efforts won't be enough to outwit his psycho grandmother who is already making inroads to stealing his baby.

This is a bad week for Creepy Freaks in Port Charles. The aforementioned Helena is up to no good, Manny is lurking around town stalking Sam at Kelly's and hanging up her clothes. (I wish someone would sneak in my window and hang up my clothes that are piled all over the bed.) And last but not least, Ric's dark side has turned pure black as he is purposely trying to make Sonny lose his mind. Ric's sick desire to get close to Sonny has morphed into something much worse - he wants to drive Sonny over the edge mentally so he can swoop in and take over. His dark obsession with his past is back with a vengeance and even though his life is full of love and family, that's not enough for him, he's still driven to take what little Sonny has left. He's pretending HE is bi-polar and asking Lainey for advice, and then he takes the advice (Stay away from booze and stress) and makes a beeline to Sonny's to pour him a Scotch and torment him with memories of his dead Mother and his dead wife Lily. Ric went so far as to buy a duplicate Lily gown for Emily after he saw a photo that Sonny was holding. Who knew Ric was such a great shopper, he tracked down a replica of a gown in a photo of a woman who died years ago in less than an hour. Maybe there is a White Gown O Rama in Port Charles - some outlet for rejected nightgowns and wedding attire. When Emily gracefully cascaded down the stairs in her new angelic gown, thinking she was ALL THAT, Sonny ran over and ripped it off in frenzy bellowing for her to TAKE IT OFF. That Ric is one sick b@st*rd.

Sonny covered by telling Emily he saw her wearing the dress for Nikolas in his mind's eye and that he fears now that Nik is a father, she will want to go and play Mommy to baby John. Hey, Sonny might be a little disoriented right now, but you have to admit, that's not such a stretch. After all, she did get involved with Sonny while babysitting for Michael and Morgan when Carly had her breakdown, and Emily sure did look sweet holding baby John in the hospital lobby. And Nik has never ripped a gown off of her unless he wanted to have Hot Prince Sex.

Jason busted Lucky and his dazed pain pill shooting episode and Liz confronted him. Although we saw him toss the pills over the docks (Some homeless dude under the bridge just scored!) I would put money on him kissing Maxie a few more times to get her to steal more drugs. They moved her pill buddy to another floor, so I suppose she'll have to break in someone new.

Sam may have to break in someone new, too, as Jason still isn't budging. Ever hear of the band Hinder? One of my friends turned me onto the just this week and they have a song that ABC should be using for Jason and Sam's theme song called "Better Than Me" whose lyrics read;

"I told myself I wouldn't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me"

Download it if you are so inclined, a great song. Sam found out that Alexis blocked her surgery, had her moved to another hospital and tried to keep Jason away during her recovery - and she is very annoyed to say the least She moved into Kelly's which is probably best as Ric has that crazed look in his eyes again and if Sam stayed there he'd be plotting ways to get her out of her sheer nighty and into some panic room I am sure exists in his new house even though we haven't seen it yet. Of course, Kelly's isn't the highest security place in town and Sam is braver than I am as if I believed someone wanted to shoot me, I would go to the safest place in town and not leave and have my groceries delivered via my local grocery store's online ordering system - but not Sam, she dropped off her bag in her room and went on about her day while Manny made a point of sneaking in and touching all her clothes with his sick tattooed fingers. (I want a tattoo so bad, but fear pain and haven't found the Hydrocodone pills Lucky threw off the pier yet.)

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Skye's baby weigh 14 pounds? Will Justus get $29.00 from Jason for a tip and buy a cappuccino at Starbucks just to make it an even 25? Will baby John continue to grow at such an alarming rate and look like he's 3 years old when he should only be 1? Is baby John secretly a 4400? Will Alexis ever teach Kristina to scream if a scary tattooed serial killer approaches her? Will Lorenzo chain Diego in his room with a backgammon board to keep him from doing stupid, illegal, and dangerous things? Will Emily ever get tired of being called Lily and kick Sonny where it counts?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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