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 Two Scoops: May 15, 2006 columns
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Everybody uses everybody
For the Week of May 15, 2006
Amazingly, Lulu must have had a passport on hand, although I don't think she's ever been anywhere but at Grandma Lesley's house, and somehow she got some adult guardian to sign for her to leave the country unattended.
My dear readers, if you get that obscure pop culture reference you are either, A) a Gilmore Girl, or B) a Premium Geek like me. (Another obscure reference.) At any rate, a new player just dropped into the mayhem that is now the Maarkham Island Rescue and Resort and boy, has she got a wicked left hook. After Anna takes a few shots at Robert, I hope she gives Holly a slap or two as well. This escape plan keeps getting more and more convoluted. Holly called Luke for help, Robert went chasing after Luke to get the coveted 50K reward, Lulu, Dillon, Robin, and Patrick followed afterward to try to rescue Luke and Robert, who are peeved that their kids arrived as they did not desire to be rescued.

Amazingly, Lulu must have had a passport on hand, although I don't think she's ever been anywhere but at Grandma Lesley's house, and somehow she got some adult guardian to sign for her to leave the country unattended. Dillon got to live out a little adventure in real life instead of merely living vicariously through film. His wife, Georgie, however, is peeved that he will miss her prom and has asked resident teen thug Diego to escort her. He agreed and immediately started committing crimes to make enough loot to take her.

Robin got to drop the whiny shrew persona for a day and actually show a little Scorpio spunk and ingenuity. It's a welcome change for her character. Kimberly McCullough is a delightful young woman- I hope the writer's allow Robin to exude a little more joy to let some of Kimberly's light to shine through. It's nice to see her get to do something other than boss Patrick around.

Even though Patrick graciously tagged along to help Robin rescue her Dad - he quickly got called away to do emergency surgery on Sam, at Liz's request. (As all brilliant brain surgeons would cut their vacation short if a student nurse had a medical opinion and asked them to…)When Patrick arrived, he was willing to do the surgery, but Dr. Noah Dreamboat Sr. caused a ruckus and convinced Alexis the surgery would kill Sam, so she got an injunction to keep Dr. Dreamboat Jr. from performing the surgery. Let's start a drinking game - every time either Dr. Drake says "I'm trying to save her LIFE." OR "I'm trying to save your career" we, the viewers, get to down a shot of something. Can you imagine how drunk we'd all be? (Speaking of which, I was just at the beach having a Mother's Day Margarita,)

I'd like to note that Patrick made it back to the hospital in record time, and Carly, Jax, and the boys made it to Australia in about 45 minutes. If it was a 45 minute trip to The Land Down Under, I think more people would go. We dig kangaroos and koala bears and the cool accents - it's just the $3000.00 18 hour flights that keep us here on U.S. soil. If we could find that flight Carly took, we'd all be in Sydney by tomorrow. Carly and Jane Jax didn't hit it off very well, to say the least. Poor Michael accidentally let the Very Rare Endangered Lizard escape, which Jax will probably thank him for, as really, who wants a creepy ass lizard in a birdcage in their penthouse apartment in Port Charles? Um, no one.

And no husband wants to find a note in his wife's purse saying she's off to meet Dr. Delicious, but it's Lucky's own damned fault for snooping in Liz's purse and jumping to conclusions without communicating. I am convinced that 90% of all relationship problems could be solved by communicating. People shut down, make assumptions, draw conclusions and most of the time; they have drawn the wrong conclusion. Liz can reach out to him, but he has already decided she's cheating on him and the actual facts are unimportant to Lucky. He'd rather assume the worst of her than hear the truth. I guess that's when you know your relationship is actually hopeless - if one persons is talking, trying to explain, and the other person doesn't respond at all - what's the point of fighting when you're fighting alone? Liz could explain every thing Lucky is afraid of in one conversation, but she doesn't even know he is feeling this way as he hasn't bothered telling her. We so often settle for Safe Lies than diving headfirst into the Messy Truth.

Speaking of the Messy Truth - Maxie has stumbled onto the paternity test results and is toying with the idea of telling Nikolas he is baby John's father. Will she? Well, she should. She does owe Nikolas; he saved her life not too long ago. While I can agree with Jax's impulse to lie about the baby's paternity to protect John from crazy Grannie Helena, Maxie's loyalty should be to Nikolas and it would make sense for her to tell him.

Sonny was very cheery this week, and even drove his own car around which totally depressed Max who wanted to take it for a spin himself. Emily was absolutely unnerved by Sonny's happy demeanor. Imagine being in love with someone who is such a moody jerk that you have to be nervous when he is happy. But we all see it coming, don't we? Sonny, whose character is bi-polar, is headed for a downturn. We all know the Great High will be soon followed by a Dismal Low. Max is the only one around right now who has been down that road with Sonny before. Carly is on another continent, and Jason is glued to Sam's hospital bed, I fear that Emily is about to go through a Sonny meltdown all on her own with no back up. Will their budding relationship make it through one of his glass throwing, wall punching marathons? Time will tell, but I suspect the experience will make Emily wish she was back at Wyndemere feeding Sheba and having tea with Mrs. Lansbury. I predict that Nikolas is going to look mighty appealing to Emily after Sonny blows a gasket.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Diego steal enough cars to buy Georgie a wrist corsage? Will Lorenzo send back all the really cool baby stuff he got from the other mob dudes, or sell it on e-bay since Skye won't use it? Will Jason tell Robin to give it up for Patrick after he saves Sam's life? Will baby John cry if the Very Rare Endangered Lizard gets into his crib? Will Guy and Lucas teach the other kids at prom how to dance? Will Lucky get hooked on Vicodin and The Price is Right while he is home recuperating? Will the CW network please, please, please, pick up Veronica Mars?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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