Okay, we get it. Sonny is bad, dark, ominous, and dresses all in black. Emily is sweetness, innocence and light and was dressed all in white as they lounged around on the sofa together before getting naked and having no color coded clothes on at all. ZZZZZZZZZZZ. I wouldn't care if they went to Sonny's island and dressed in grass skirts and coconut shells, I would continue to find them dreadfully dull together and fast forward through all their scenes. That's right advertisers, you heard me. I am spinning through your ads and not buying your crap because Sonny and Emily bore me. And I don't even have the grass skirts to look forward to, because Sonny *swears* it's all going to be different this time, and he won't be taking her to the island. Really? So Emily gets cheated out of the new dress? No dancing, no midnight moonlight swim, no winning rounds at the roulette table? (By the way, I am in Vegas right now and just won 40 bucks on roulette playing my Mom's birthday, and I have never ever played roulette before.) Maybe this vow to be different means he won't get her pregnant either. Of course he did impregnate both Alexis and her daughter Sam to which I am again compelled to say, EWWW.
Someone who used to bore me with his wooden acting has come back from prison with some sweet skills - Diego apparently took up acting while he was in the slammer as his thespian abilities have increased more sizes than the Grinch's heart before he sledded back to Who-Ville. So not only do Georgie and Dillon have Tracy trying to rip up their marriage and Mac breathing down their necks, now Dillon has to worry about Diego vying for Georgie's sympathetic affections, too. Diego is writing one of those "Letters I've written, never meaning to send." Letters, which of course he will drop at Kelly's and either Georgie or Dillon or Tracy or Maxie will find - just a hunch, no cold hard facts to back that up. A curiosity to me this week, while Georgie had on the "Don't Shoot The Messenger" t-shirt all week, Emily had about 11 wardrobe changes, so - are we to assume Georgie only has 1 t-shirt, or that Emily keeps spilling pasta sauce on her clothes and have to change 3 or 4 times a day?
Here's another mysterious turn of events this week - Jax was just heartsick over losing Courtney - truly beside himself, absolutely grief stricken. That was until he started lusting over Carly. Apparently someone visiting his premature baby in a hospital gown is a real turn on for him. Who knew? Courtney has been dead a whole 10 days and suddenly Jax and Carly are making out in his penthouse? Mind you, I like the idea of them together as it will make Sonny crazy, and because they actually have a great chemistry together and I like to watch Jax in love, happy and making out with babes - but the timing is a bit premature. When a person is truly grieving, there isn't a sexual impulse in their body; every single ounce of energy they have is caught up in simply trying to get through each day and deal with the harsh realities of loss. The onset of grief is simply not a time of great sexual passion - but Jax seems to have overcome the normal patterns and moved into the little known, newly discovered 8th stage of grief - horniness.
Skye and Lorenzo have a baby on the way and Luke is peeved. I do not feel sorry for Luke. I don't think Skye should feel guilty for her actions. Luke knew what Skye wanted, and what she needed and he actively chose to ignore her needs continually and follow his own selfish pursuits. He ignored her and disregarded her, and now he has lost her. Lorenzo actually saw Skye, and appreciated her and stepped up to meet her needs emotional and physical - and in doing so he won her love for life and gets a baby and a full rich life with a family as a bonus for his efforts. Good for him. I like Happy Endings and I like to see the people who should be together end up together. Call me a fool or a hopeless romantic, but I still believe in soul mates and magic and wonder and that people who truly belong together will wind up together some how, some way. Serendipity if you will. Lorenzo and Skye understand and accept one another and that friendship has blossomed into life altering and life affirming love and brought them both some richly deserved peace and joy.
In a moment of great irony, Ric, who assisted in getting Manny released from prison, is now asking Jason to kill Manny because Ric is suddenly sorry he's out of prison because he talked to Kristina. To add insult to injury, when Jason declined, Ric went to Sam and asked her to intervene, after Sam begged, pleaded and shrieked at Alexis and Ric for about a month not to work on Manny's defense. But Ric is on his own because Sam and Jason have no desire to help Ric get rid of Manny, and Manny is back to the business of crime. While Manny may be grateful to Alexis for getting him out of jail, I doubt he'd hesitate to hurt her or her kids if the need arose. He's a sick freak.
As I mentioned at the onset of this column, I am currently out of town and in Las Vegas and I didn't see Friday's episode. To the best of my knowledge, Sam still hasn't blurted out the truth to Alexis about her being her long lost Mom, but I am guessing when I get home this week and check my Tivo, I will find that secret is out of the bag…? Maybe you guys can fill me in this time.
What will happen next week, dear readers? Will Lorenzo want to name his baby Sage or Parsley or Thyme? Will Jax move into the house next door to Carly so she can babysit for him, or so he can have easy access Booty Calls? Will Lucas and Guy stop bickering long enough to discover they have more in common that being beat up by the same guy? Will Emily and Nikolas's impromptu meeting on the roof lead them to discuss the mystery of whatever happened to the elevator that used to be up there that lead to the crypt of Nikolas' frozen father Stavros? Will Mike let any more convicted felons move into Kelly's? (Thanks Joe D) Will Jason still want to marry Sam now that he knows Alexis and Helena are part of the package?
Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.