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 Two Scoops: October 17, 2005 columns
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I just wanna live
For the Week of October 17, 2005
If I were being held at gunpoint by a ruthless mobster, I think I would scan the floor for a mini purse tool kit and see if I could take the dudes with a 2 inch long dull screwdriver.
If I were being held at gunpoint by a ruthless mobster, I think I would scan the floor for a mini purse tool kit and see if I could take the dudes with a 2 inch long dull screwdriver. Oh wait. No, I wouldn't. I would have stayed outside and called "911"

If my boyfriend had holed himself up in a hotel to hide behind a flimsy hotel sofa all alone for a gunfight against a slew of men, I'd grab my pistol and throw on my power suit with some platform sandals and rush over and try to help him shoot them. Oh wait. No I wouldn't. I'd pick up my cell phone and call "911"

If my husband had just gotten some other chick pregnant while we were still married, and he came over to use my shoulder for a "Woe is me, What am I going to do?" talk, I'd be very patient and forgiving and blame myself for his carelessness. Oh wait. No I wouldn't, I'd call him lots of name and ask one of the armed thugs at my mob boss landlords house to toss his sorry ass down the driveway.

If I found a diary from a dead cousin I had never met, I would become enraged after reading it and suddenly become a stalker and drug my ex and take nude photos of her to get even for...murder? (In what world are cheesy porn shots and murder an equal punishment?) Oh wait, no I wouldn't. I'd never have read past the first paragraph of an unknown and deceased cousin's journal unless they were one heck of a riveting writer.

If I were into some dude who happened to already be married to a shrew who had gotten me kidnapped and a tall, dark and handsome mobster came to rescue me, it would be Adios Married Dude, Hello Criminal. Okay, I actually WOULD do that one.

We are gearing up for November Sweeps and everything is at its boiling point.

We had 2 unexpected shockers on the Teen Scene this week, Lucas has confided in Georgie that he is gay, and Diego has been revealed as the stalker.

Thankfully, when Lucas mustered up the courage to reveal to his cousin Georgie that he was gay, she was warm and accepting; she hugged him and he knows they are okay. I am looking forward to this tale unraveling, how will Bobbie react, and Uncle Luke, and his cousin Lucky and the other kids? Will they accept their friend, or reject him? Will he face ridicule or be embraced? Right now, he's told Georgie and she's made it clear she loves him.

OTOH, Diego is not going to get any love from anyone for confessing he's the perv. I have a very difficult time buying this storyline twist. They lead us along by the nose for weeks, dangling the unnecessary character of Seth around as though he is the stalker, and then suddenly, the have Diego reveal it's him. This is an abrupt change in plans, but why? Rumor has it that the actor that plays Diego is a bit annoying and that some of the big guns, like Maurice Bernard, aren't crazy about working with him. So, maybe he annoyed the wrong people at the wrong time and ended up being morphed into a stalker. His motive, the flimsy "I read Sage's diary" excuse just doesn't ring true for me. Diego and Brooke were in love for awhile, and it stands to reason to me that if Diego read the diary and was upset by it, he would have gone to Brook Lynn and said "Hey, why were you such a witch to my cousin?" and gotten her side of the story. But instead, the writers want us to believe that he read Sage's diary - a girl he didn't even know and had never met, and immediately went out and bought a pile of rufies to go to the pizza shop and drug and torture his only friends? That's a big dumb leap, in my opinion. Even so, that's the plot we have, and Brook Lynn is trapped in the freezer. Maybe she can sing real loud and Ned will hear her and let her out. I hope so, because the girl can really sing, so any excuse to get her to do it is fine with me.

On to other "big moments" - Ric and Sonny actually... HUGGED. Sonny actually called Ric his brother and didn't wince. He came an inch from actually admitting he loved him. Now THERE is some good TV and a love scene we have been waiting for! I am quite serious about that. I have wanted those two boneheads to stop bickering and make nice for a long time and this scene was the pay off I wanted. Ric is willing to get his hands dirty, he's willing to sacrifice his principles to protect Sonny, but Sonny won't let him and insists on protecting him. Ric of course didn't listen and ran off to meet with...who? SPOILER ALERT, skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to know. The who is rumored to be Ric's Dad, Mr. Lansing Sr. The guy who Sonny's Mom Adella ditched years ago causing the big riff between the two brother. Apparently, Mr. Lansing has some Mob ties himself, and Ric is going to Daddy to call in a favor.

Luke is back, and I am glad. I missed him while he was away. My husband Jeff was teasing me about it this week; he said "You actually think those people are real." And I had to confess he was right. I have watched GH for nearly 30 - and those people do seem real to me. I know Luke Spencer. I know what he believes. I know what matters to him. I know his ethics or lack thereof. I know his family. I know his birthday and his anniversary to Laura and I know why he drinks too much. I know his sins and his crimes and I know what he feels guilty about and what he doesn't. I know he's fictional, and yet I like as well as some of my friends. I count on what he brings to my life and I look for him in people I meet. When he says lines that touch my heart to the point of tears, I never think of it as corny soap drivel because I suspended my disbelief about him when I was 16 years old and it's still hanging there above me ready to believe anything Luke asks me to believe on screen. Right now, I am expected to believe Luke would let Tracy rot in a kidnapper's hole rather than fork up a million bucks that he thinks belongs to him. Now Luke would never let Laura rot in a kidnapper's hole, but he LOVED her and he doesn't love Tracy. We all know Luke has no real use for people outside of his family circle.

Emily is being way too nice these days. When Nik, her husband came to the door and said "I may have knocked up Courtney and I don't know what to do. I know you really aren't the person I should be talking to about this but..." Emily said "Oh no, dear, you come on in and talk to me. You can talk to me about anything." Since when? They couldn't talk about her rape, and they couldn't talk about their marriage falling apart, and they didn't talk about his time in prison and how that affected him, but now they can talk about him getting some other woman pregnant. I know we are split on this issue at about 50/50; that's my count according to my mail bag, but I sure hope this baby is Jax's. Jax wants to be a Dad, and Nikolas doesn't, just for starters.

Well, we got our first glimpse of Robin this week, or actually we got about 50 glances of the back of her head, and one glimpse of her face. I realize it was supposed to be climactic, but I'm sorry I'm just not that into Robin. I adored her as a little girl when Anna and Robert were around and she was little and precious, and I loved her in the storyline with Stone, a very moving tale. But as she got older took a big Self Righteous pill, and started making life decisions for other people, I became less enamored of her. I like Jason with Sam and if Robin is coming in to become the spoiler for that relationship, I'd just as soon pass on having her back. OTOH is her coming back will bring Anna and Robert back, too - then Welcome Home, Kid.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will we all start singing rousing verses of "Jesse's Girl" when Rick Springfield blows back into town? Will anyone find Brook Lynn in the Q freezer, or will Alice see her and leave her there so she has one less person to pick up after? Will Crazy Neck Tattoo Guy bust out of jail and come back for more of Sam's soft lips without Jason to protect her? Will Reese trip in her clunky shoes while diving behind the sofa from a bullet and break a perfectly pedicured toenail? Will Dr. Meadows tell Courtney that the paternity tests reveal that Sonny is the father, since she is wrong a lot and Sonny actually has fathered most of the babies in Port Charles in the past few years?

Only tomorrow knows dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.



Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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