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 Two Scoops: June 6, 2005 columns
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For the Week of June 6, 2005
Nikolas is a Prince. Sure, Luke pilfered 15 Million bucks away from the Cassadine's - but one must assume that wasn't ALL their money, right? Emily is a Quartermaine. Her family also has some money, albeit a smaller amount than before AJ embezzled piles away...so Nik's brother and Em's best friend move into what looks to be an old boiler room where they will have to sleep on a pull out sofa.
Nikolas is a Prince. Sure, Luke pilfered 15 Million bucks away from the Cassadine's - but one must assume that wasn't ALL their money, right? Emily is a Quartermaine. Her family also has some money, albeit a smaller amount than before AJ embezzled piles away...so Nik's brother and Em's best friend move into what looks to be an old boiler room where they will have to sleep on a pull out sofa. Being the great Mom Liz is, baby Cameron (who has grown into his head and gotten really cute) has the one bedroom all to himself. I have to say "Hey! Cheapskate Prince! Give our brother some loot to get a bigger apartment." Or, "Hey, whiny Emily! You always said that 10 bedroom castle was too big for 2 people; why not let Liz, Lucky and Cameron have a wing at Wyndemere?" Of course if Liz is a nurse (and she must be as even though she just started nursing school, they seem to let her do official nursing stuff unattended.) and Lucky is a recently re-instated cop - shouldn't they HAVE enough money for a better apartment? And who, pray tell, is living in the Spencer house-just Lulu and Lesley? That's a pretty big joint in its own right.

Something that's not big at all is Sam's fist, but it sure made a great "thunk" sound when it hit NuCarly's annoying face. NuCarly got the funniest look on her face when Sam slugged her - it was so familiar to me. I finally figured out that the last time I had seen that particular expression was at the San Diego Zoo when one monkey through poo at another monkey who wasn't expecting it. NuCarly gets the "Shocked Chimp" look quite often so I am glad I finally pegged it. When Sam punched her, I actual cheered at the TV. I think Kelly Monaco should get a raise. Last week I started ranting about the recast of Carly, and I'm not done yet. She's just awful. Again, not that this Bransford woman is a bad actress, she really isn't - she's just a bad fit for a familiar character, and the bad fit can't all be blamed on the actress. The writers have taken to writing Carly meaner than she has ever been. Braun's Carly did crazy destructive things to lash out occasionally, but never things that were just downright cruel without provocation. I almost felt sorry for Maurice Benard when he had to kiss her, I can't imagine why Sonny or Alcazar would either one be interested in this woman and I don't want her with either of them. Give Reese to Sonny and Skye to Lorenzo and write Carly off the canvas until they can find an actress better suited for the role. When NuCarly proposed to Alcazar, I just thought 'EWWWW' whereas if Braun was still in the role, I would have been flipping cartwheels around my living room as I loved the two of them together. I honestly don't know how many more recast characters I can take. Maybe I'm just crabby today. Or maybe NuCarly is truly awful. I can't decide.

I can decide that if I were Courtney I would no longer be calling Carly my best friend. If any of my friends had shown up at my wedding and hijacked it, they wouldn't be my best friend anymore. I wouldn't even send them a Christmas card. I wouldn't even share a Styrofoam cup of punch with them at the class reunion. Unless of course they had some evidence that had just come to light at the last minute like "Tamilu! Don't marry him! They just discovered he's the one who gave Elvis his fatal overdose." Then yeah, sure, interrupt my wedding, but if it's just "I like it better when you're with Jason because you let me boss you around and Sam won't." then you're a selfish person who doesn't deserve friends. I have given my two dearest friends only one guideline as to whom I think they should marry; someone who can at least pretend to tolerate me. And Jax fits that bill; he IS capable of being civil to Carly for Courtney's sake. No matter now, they are married in spite of Carly, Rachel, and Monster-In-Law trying to break up their wedding. It's nice to see two nice people who make each other happy actually end up together, isn't it? But how come Jax's ex wives can come to the wedding, but not Courtney's ex husband?

Speaking of weddings, Mr. and Mrs. Luke Spencer have hit a small snag named Coleman. Coleman's a sleaze, but I confess I kinda like him anyway. It's a sickness, really. If I had a choice between Ned, for arguments sake, and Luke, I'd pick Luke. Ned is clearly the nicer and more stable guy. But Luke is...complicated. He has ISSUES. He has a dark side and that gets my adrenaline pumping. Now in a battle between Coleman and Luke, Luke would still win hands down, but I wouldn't mind being tricked into having a fling with Coleman the way Tracy was... I started to expound but thought better of it.

I noticed my bad pattern again in the battle of the shrinks this week; I prefer Dr. Thomas ("I'd never break a patient's trust") over Dr. Winters ("I'd have to turn my patient in if they committed a crime.") In general, I think society needs rules, but I find myself favoring the characters that bend the rules when necessary. I think it's because of my insanely over-developed Loyalty gene. Luke would lie to keep a friend out of jail, for instance. While lying is bad, bad, bad - having a friend's back is good, good, good. This weekend I am feeling especially vulnerable as everyone who has my back is miles away and it's just me and my trusty Schnoodle, Rex. I wonder how military wives DO this??? Bless you ladies for your courage and strength. Especially Sue.

You'll note I am not rambling on about Maxie and her heart. This is because I am refusing to watch that storyline with the wrong Maxie and the soon to be wrong Felicia. Na Ga Da. Tivo Rules.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will the 'One Night in Tracy' video be making its debut at Jake's Bar? Will Dr. Thomas know how to treat a 9 year old pillow smothering son of a mob boss? Will Rosie get to move into Jax's penthouse where someone might actually take her for a walk? Will Dillon dump Georgie before he, too, is replaced by a Pod Person? Will Luke take offense to Skye continually comparing him to booze? Do they air GH in Costa Rica? Will Reese and Ric decide for the 12th time not to tell anyone they slept together?

Only tomorrow knows dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.



Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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