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 Two Scoops: April 11, 2005 columns
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Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
For the Week of April 11, 2005
Michael's ghost is appearing on the swing set to Carly with messages from beyond, which is odd as he isn't dead.
Michael's ghost is appearing on the swing set to Carly with messages from beyond, which is odd as he isn't dead. This is quite reminiscent of Mary Poppins when Jane and Michael write their advertisement for a new nanny and Mr. Banks rips it up and throws it into the fireplace but the pieces all put themselves together in jigsaw puzzle fashion for Mary Poppins to read and so begins her Jolly Holiday with them. Michael wrote Carly a letter, which AJ torched, but Carly can still hear Michael's words as if they drifted to Port Charles by way of Cherry Tree Lane. What's next, a mob tea party on the ceiling of Jason's penthouse? While I admit to being kooky enough to believe in spiritual connections between people, (like getting a powerful feeling something is wrong with a friend and finding out you're right and ending up eating eggs at 2 AM at some greasy diner in L.A.) but I have not seen any ghosts on swing sets yet.

Not only is Carly seeing the ghost on the swing set, she is trying to get other people to see it, too - "Sonny, if Michael knows you want to see him, he'll come back." As if she's the Magic 8 Ball and can predict the future. Carly may be doing a follow up stint in Shadybrook if she keeps this up, as no one but Reese really believes she is having visions of her son. I've concluded that I like Reese a lot better this week than last for 2 reasons: 1) Her heartfelt confession to Carly about her own painful loss from the death of her child was incredibly moving, and helps me to better understand her character's motivation. 2) Finding out she can down multiple shots of bourbon in rapid succession - I like a chick who can handle her liquor. Some of you have written me that you think she's a bad actress, but I must break rank. I think she's doing a great job. Unlike some, I don't automatically hate all new characters. But I do hate bad recasts. (Beware NuCarly) My one hope is that Michael will be back in Port Charles before Tamara Braun leaves because if I don't get to see the reunion with the right Mom in place, I'm going to be FURIOUS. (Like I was when Lila's funeral had the wrong Edward. I actually got angry like someone really did something to me.)

Sadly, it doesn't look like I am going to get my way, as Tamara Braun's last airdate is supposed to be April 15th, and Sam and Jason aren't the best detectives - Michael walked RIGHT BY THEM and they didn't see him. You'd think Michael would have heard Jason's voice talking 3 feet from him, too.

Alan Quartermaine, or to keep with our Mary Poppins theme, let's call him Admiral Boomsince he is exploding right on schedule every single day, decides to swing over to the Po' side of town for a drink or 5 at Jake's. Reese decides that's where she'll go to drink as well, and our lovely Federal Agent in the peasant top and midriff jeans spills her guts to Coleman, an immoral thug who'd sell her secrets for beer money if he found a buyer. (But Coleman has really good hair and is cute in that sleazy bar guy way, so I can see why she'd be drawn to him if she was in the mood to...act out.) Admiral Boom overhears Reese lamenting about how she hates to turn Sonny in as he's a bad guy with a broken heart, and decides to hop up from the table, tell her she's just a "whore with a badge" which made me laugh almost as loud as when I heard Patrick Swayze say "No one puts Baby in a corner." Boom called her some more names and ended up slapping her in the face. Sonny witnessed this incident and - well, you all know how much Sonny hates people mistreating women. Sure, he'll gun down 9 men in cold blood, but he would never slap a chick. Several of you wrote and asked me when it became okay for men to slap women on soaps, and I don't know that it IS okay, but it sure seems to happen quite a bit.

Another thing that happens quite a bit is being in a coma @ GH. Someone should look into this phenomenon. However, this works out good for us, the viewer, as while Rachel is in her coma she is dreaming about AJ and how they met and got involved. Since this is soap and we can jump inside her head like it's one of Burt's chalk drawings on the sidewalk, we are privy to the world rolling round in Rachel's brain. Seems AJ and Rachel were an item, she fell for him legitimately (a.k.a Rachel got popular so they had to rewrite the story to redeem her so they can keep her around? Just a hunch.) Poor Rachel, AJ tricked her into this scheme of his and she really thought they were soul mates for 5 minutes. BooHoo. I have a soul mate, too - but if he tried to get me to frame someone for murder for him, that would be the end of the soul mate thing. Mac kind of believes Courtney when she says she didn't kill AJ, and now that Rachel is awake they are trying to pry the details out of her. It's about as painfully slow as when Ryan Seacrest stalls telling us who got kicked off American Idol until after the break. Rachel honey, just spit it out.

After John Durant got Diego falsely accused of drug possession, Maria spit out the truth about Jason being at the scene of the crime, and apparently John Durant's accomplice is a thug posing as a Catholic priest... Kind of bad form, ABC, to make a priest in a confessional booth a mobster the week of the Pope's funeral, but hey, maybe that's just me. Reese knows Durant bullied Maria into changing her testimony, so she's wandering around with the tape of said confession, which I think she left on Coleman's bar. Did any of YOU see her pick it up when Sonny dragged her out? No. Me either. Diego's drugs turned out to be Oregano so now Diego can make a GIANT PIZZA for Brook Lynn as he is the proud owner of 8 pounds of Italian seasoning. MMMMMM Pizza....

Alexis ("We're clearly soldiers in petticoats") took Sonny to court to try to get sole custody of Kristina (I cannot come up with a Mary Poppins character for Kristina, as all the kids in that movie spoke actual words.) and lost. She has finally decided she needs therapy. I hope she starts with that cheery tale of Helena cutting her opera singer Mom's throat and works her way up from there. There is a lot of therapy needed there - I mean the Cassadine's may be the world's most dysfunctional family. Ric needs to make friends with some chimney sweeps and get some rooftop dancing in to break free from the stress of living with Alexis.

On a personal note, my daughter Sarah's birthday is Monday and she's in Alaska, so if *I* could jump into a chalk painting and end up somewhere else, it would be to Juneau with a plate of cherry heart shaped cupcakes.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Steven get to do any more surgeries he has previously botched on more unsuspecting patients? Will Sam and her bikini round up any more sleazy men who slept with Faith and have info on her ties to AJ? Will Emily do anything worth writing about? Will Michael get in the same amount of trouble for running away from AJ that he used to when he ran away from Leticia? Will Reese use double condoms when she finally sleeps with Sonny knowing how potent he is? Will the pound call to tell Courtney that Rosie got loose as she is obviously lost again? Will Monica have to strip for Coleman when Alan gets drunk and runs into the wall of Jake's with HIS car?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.



Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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