I am a serious music geek. I mean, like the guys in High Fidelity. People at parties make a sport of trying to stump me with obscure pop songs; thinking I won't know who sings them...They fail miserably. I was a lonely child. I wrote down Casey Casem's Top 40 every week and memorized it for like 2 decades. I listened to Jaybird Drennan's country show, too. My Grandma lived next door and had Nat King Cole, Duke Ellington, and Ella Fitzgerald records. Thus, I am well versed in many genres. On that note, I often times find songs springing into my head as the GH events unfold, and this week, Walter Egan's great line "You are a magnet and I am steel" played itself in my brain.
Sonny Corinthos is a magnet. Any being with estrogen is steel. Karen, Brenda, lily, Hannah, Carly (3 or 4 times) Alexis, Sam, and now Reese. Did I miss any? Probably so, the number of women he has had is dizzying. (Says the woman who was engaged 5 times before finally getting married.) His tractor beam is so powerful I'll bet girl puppies and kitties follow him down the street. Reese was sent in to work a kidnapping case, previously a strong willed FBI agent who is now so weakened by Sonny's potent magnetism that she is reduced to stalking Sonny and all of his family and friends 24/7. She just shows up. Can you get a restraining order against a Federal Agent? Didn't she have misgivings about the loose ends of Michael's kidnapping, too? If she found Michael, Sonny would give her a quick Thank You roll in the hay, I'm certain of it. Then she could become impregnated by Sonny's magical sperm that pierces through any woman, regardless of birth control in one single night of passion.
Sonny cooked for her already, but he hasn't taken her to his island yet. That's generally the next step in his seduction. Make girl dinner, take girl to Island, buys girl a dress, lets girl win at his casino, has his way with girl. (I longed to use a bad word in place of "has his way with girl" but my Mom reads this column, so I refrained.) Reese has said the phrase "The burning question" so many times; I would like to propose we make it into a drinking game. Mix a pitcher of margaritas before GH each day, and every time Reese says "The Burning Question" you get to guzzle one drink. I guarantee you'll be hammered by the end of the hour. Her burning question yesterday was who was working who, and of course the premise is she is working him, he is working her, but OOPS they will fall "Accidentally in Love." (Another song. Counting Crows.)
I guess I can't say too much about Reese showing up in Sonny's living room any old time she wants, as it appears Sonny has a key to Jason's place and just shows up there any time he wants, too. He was concerned about Jason getting busted for the shootings. (I am waiting for Maria to blab. You know she's going to. I know she's going to. She just looks like a squealer.) Sam and Jason came down from the rooftop and we almost got to see them have groovy rainy wet leather jacket sex, but Sonny was standing in the living room as Jason swept Sam across the threshold. Seeing Sam makes me more committed than ever to makeup and hair styling. When I saw Sam on the roof when Jason first came in, and her makeup was on, and her hair was done, I thought - "Wow. She is truly stunning." But then a few minutes later when it rained on them and her makeup washed off and her hair was all stringy and hanging in her face, she was not all that stunning anymore. I am so vain I put my makeup on to take my trash out for fear a neighbor would see me looking un-glam, and seeing Sam sans makeup reaffirmed my commitment to that behavior. I observed that the weather forecasters in Port Charles must be pretty lousy at their predictions as everyone got caught in the rain; no one was prepared by carrying an umbrella. Obviously, the weather report didn't forewarn them. Of course I live in San Diego, and while the song proclaims that "It Never Rains in Southern California" - it has rained a little this winter, but not enough to warrant me buying windshield wipers that actually work.
Courtney and Jax also got caught in the rain, but she looked better wet than Sam. There was an exchange between them this week that really moved me. Jax said to Courtney "Whatever you have done, I'll stand by you." Do you have a friend who'd stand by you if you got arrested for murder? Not just send you a Christmas card while you were in prison for life, but help you fight the charge if it wasn't true, like in Courtney's case. She didn't kill anyone, but evidence will prove she did. And we know that Jax will stand beside her every step of the way. Last year a friend of mine was accused of doing something awful. I love my friend quite deeply and I determined in my heart that if they did the thing they were accused of, or didn't do it, I would stand by them either way. I made my friend that vow, but it was hard for them to accept because we can't grasp the fact that someone could ever love us enough to know the worst thing we have ever done and still accept us. It's hard to fathom how someone could know our sins and yet continue to see the best in us hard to imagine someone could see the light in us once they glimpsed the darkness we work so hard to hide. But the same gift has been given to me, so I know what its worth. If you hold unconditional love in your hand, hold on to it with all 10 fingers. Did you hear that Courtney?
I'd yell things to Rachel, but she's in a coma again. So she's IN a coma, then comes OUT of the coma and makes a phone call, then goes back IN to the coma again. That's a new one. I wonder who she was calling. Pedicure appointment? Chinese take-out? The Love Song Request Line to hear "I'll Be Watching You"? Or possibly AJ to say "Hey dude, can't keep up with our evil plot against Courtney as I'm in a coma, but am taking a short break to update you?
While we're on that topic- AJ is a lying worm. I want Jason to catch his brother and kick his butt all the way back to Port Charles. Explain this to me. Michael ran away about every third day while he was at Sonny and Carly's while being watched by a nanny and guarded by bodyguards. Besides being slippery, he's a smart kid, too. So why hasn't he ditched AJ in the Bahamas yet and run off and asked to borrow the cell phone of a tourist or gone banging of the door of a Louisiana whore house like he did when Faith had him? They speak English in the Bahamas - their money is even exchange, and I bet SOMEONE in the Bahamas has heard of Sonny's island casino. And note to all, watch what phrases you use, as apparently AJ taped Sonny saying a variety of lines which he can store on the machine that I have only ever seen before on the Rosie O'Donnell show. It was a lot more fun when she used it. She used her power for good, while AJ is using his for pure evil - lying to a kid and making him think his parents don't want him is seriously sick. So, if you say "Leave me alone." To someone, AJ and his one lone goon may be taping it to use against you someday. So "be careful little mouth, what you say." (Another song, but from Sunday School when I was 5)
Courtney found Rachel's "Secret cell phone" and called it; AJ answered and said "Hello" to hear Courtney being arrested. Did she recognize the voice she heard was AJ's? She WAS married to him. I mean, I have been married for 16 years and I could pick Jeff's Hello out of a sea of Hello's - so hopefully her ears tuned in to AJ's weasely voice saying Hello.
Ric has said Hello to reason, but Alexis can't hear it. I used to really love the character of Alexis, but somewhere around the Dobson thing, she had a personality transplant and seemingly her hormones went into such overdrive that she went from being a brilliant attorney who could stand up against the likes of Helena to a cowardly whiny annoying wimp and I just don't like her anymore. My Mom was very protective of me growing up, and I am thankful for that. She kept me home on days when she thought there was too much snow, but the schools were open. She didn't let me go to really cool parties in the 70's and I would tell her I hated her, but then the next day when said parties had been busted for drugs or some kid had blown up the bathroom with a cherry bomb, or a friend of mine dropped acid and ended up in the mental hospital, I would have to concede that she was probably right to not let me go. I love the way my Mother loves me. But Alexis's protection of Kristina is smothering - no one can touch or spend time with her, she is hesitant to let Ric, her own stepfather, pick her up. She wants to take her away from Sonny, a father who indeed lives a dangerous life, but adores his child. She could at least be offered supervised visitation. And where has Dara been hiding? I love how people disappear for 2 or 3 years and then suddenly appear again. Hey, maybe someday Amy Vining will be back at the nurse's station.
Now that Alan has confessed he was the hit and run driver, there's one less piece of ammunition she has against Sonny. BTW, many of you got the Prince Charming reference, but for those of you who didn't - log on to Netflix and rent "Cinderella- Rodger's and Hammerstein" from 1965 to see our Stuart Damon in all his glory, and singing, too. Of course, I already have it in MY queue, so you'll have to wait for me to send it back. : Emily convinced Alan to confess in her NEWLY CHANGED CLOTHES! Hooray! Now if only she'd change personalities. And since this is an opinion column- here's mine...If the writer's don't write in some therapy for Emily soon, her character will be irreparably damaged and when Nikolas comes back, we won't even care anymore. You have to be able to ROOT for people, and I'm not rooting for Emily's happy ending right now because they have written her to be so annoying and over the top that I just want her to go away. I'd rather see Nikolas get out of jail and find Mary Bishop had a twin sister he falls in love with rather than have him go back to the screeching Emily of present day. Emily has been a decent loving person all these years, and fairly rational. Her response to rape is a slap in the face to all the women who have ever been raped and had to still get up and go to work in the morning while getting counseling and not having a mansion to mope around in, and servants to boss around and friends to scream insults at while they are trying to comfort her.
The sweetest bit of comfort this week came in the form of Lucky and Elizabeth who have finallyacknowledged the connection they share and the passion they have for one another which cannot be denied. They can't ignore it anymore after years of trying on other people and other relationships, they have finally admitted to themselves and each other that they belong together. Why is it we spend our whole lives looking for one true love, and then when it's in our hands we let it slip away? Liz and Lucky have grabbed onto it again, after it slipped away once before and I suspect this time they will hold on a bit more tightly. (And stay away from Helena so she can't brainwash Lucky into forgetting Liz again...)
What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Dillon ever share a secret with Emily again? Will any other patients have a phone in ICU? Will Jax's new hotel ever recover from having a pile of men gunned down in his restaurant? Will Rachel ever barge in on someone's lunch uninvited again? Will AJ introduce Michael to Conch Chowder? Will Durant go back to New York and take Emily with him? (Please?) Will Reese realize she could get more info by sleeping with Max? Will Sam go back to the rooftop and clean off all that crap she left up there? Will they ever put more than 2 rusty swings in Michael's newly dedicated playground?
Only tomorrow knows dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.