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 Two Scoops: October 11, 2004 columns
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The girl without a face
For the Week of October 11, 2004
How desperate would an actress have to be to go out for this role? Wanted: Woman to sit in a chair wearing a blond wig.
How desperate would an actress have to be to go out for this role "Wanted: Woman to sit in a chair wearing a blond wig. Your face will never be seen. We will be showing your hands though, so get a manicure." How much do they pay for that sort of thing? I mean, I can be bought - for the right amount of money I would sit in a chair wearing a blond wig having my hair brushed by another actress who makes WAY more money than me, as her face shows and she actually has lines to speak.

Here are my thoughts; I love Genie Francis. Genie, Kin Shriner, and Tony Geary are the ones who sucked me into the GH Vortex back in the 70's. However, Laura has been a faceless blond head in a chair for 2 years now. Either A) Give Genie enough money to make her want to hire a nanny and come back to work, or B) Hire a new actress to play Laura, as anyone who has started watching in the past 5 years probably wouldn't recognize Genie if they passed her in Wal-Mart buying dish soap, or C) Grab the lead in the ratings Sweeps by doing a "Genie Francis- Extreme Makeover" edition where some normal looking woman gets enough plastic surgery to be Genie's identical twin. At any rate, the hair brushing thing is getting a bit old. How ratty could her hair BE, just sitting there all day? Not like she has been out in convertibles taking joyrides in the breeze or anything.

So just what IS Heather's big plan? As I understand it, she is going to marry Edward, kill him, and take his money. (Um, WHAT money? Didn't AJ embezzle ELQ's loot, and didn't Edward lose Lila's inheritance?) Then Heather plans to get Luke to marry her... (HOW, we do not know) and does she plan to TELL Luke she is brushing Laura's hair in the Q attic, or just keep her hidden there? Insane people don't really think out their plans very well. And the real question of course, is why after a 25 year absence from Port Charles, would Heather suddenly become fixated on Luke? She did manage to stay out of jail by ambushing Stephen and crumpling up the evidence against her in the big Luke Letter Scandal.

And, instead of just one crazy, we have two lunatics plotting things against people, as Helena and her Curse Book are still making progress. Oh my, do I wish there was a real Curse Book! I would use it to curse people who pull in front of me in the fast lane and then proceed to go slower than the speed limit, people who talk on their cell phone in movies in loud voices (and inevitably during the most crucial climactic scene in the film) and people who bring crying babies into my personal space. Doesn't anyone hire neighborhood teens to babysit anymore? But, I digress. Emily is cursed, and being bitten by Spiders (like the one who crawled on Peter Brady when Bobby found the evil Tiki Idol in the Hawaii episode?) feeling weak and faint and whiny when nothing is really wrong with her. Hey...kind of reminds me of... (Wait, Tamilu, censor yourself. No mean jabs at your husband's ex...) As Nik chokes Helena in the interrogation room at the PCPD, Em begins losing her breath. So what, Helena has turned herself into a human voodoo doll???

But I must take a jab at the Writers... I have friends who are foster parents, and from what I have seen I am pretty darned sure they wouldn't give a 17 year old boy to a 25 year old single Mom with a NO bedroom loft. That's pretty much asking for trouble. And are we supposed to buy that Billionaire Hunka-licious Jax is jealous of a 17 year old punk? Not buying it. I can but the tease of a Brook Lynn/Diego pairing though - that might be fun.

Luke is finally back and even as a toothless homeless guy, a very welcome sight. Finally Skye will be able to say "SEE! I told you so!" to all those who doubted that Luke cared for her. Ever been there? Ever been 100% absolutely certain of someone and have everyone tell you that what you believe is impossible, improbable or wrong? Ever been certain of someone and have others tell you not to trust them, not to count on them, or to run for your life? I have, and I never listen. I trust my heart about people no matter what trash other people tell me, I always make up my own mind. So hooray for Skye for not letting other peoples' opinion of Luke change what she KNEW about Luke from her own experience.

Carly, on the other hand, trusts her experience, and she's wrong. Not that her instinct to trust is bad, but that Durant is a scum willing to use his own daughter to make an arrest. He "passed" her test and didn't use Michael's drawing to bust Sonny's shipment, but he did blow stuff up and is trying to pin it on Lorenzo. Lorenzo keeps telling people "Durant asked me to partner with him to take Sonny down." and no one believes him. Kind of like all those warnings the government got about terrorists wanting to blow up the U.S. and ignoring them. (And NO, this is not a political endorsement for anyone, so don't bother scolding me - both Clinton and Bush's White House knew Bin Laden was a threat...) So, Lorenzo can watch Sonny go down with a clear conscience. Lois refused Sonny's request to spy on Alcazar for him, so I suppose he will have to make up his mind on whether to trust Lorenzo or Durant on his own. Jason in the meantime has made it clear he doesn't want to be given an order to shoot Carly's Dad. Man, I love it when those hit men flex their morality. :

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will I ever get over the flood of adoration I have felt for you these past few weeks as your beautiful letters of prayers and condolences on the loss of my Daddy filled my mailbox? Probably not -I'll carry that love with me always. Will Skye get a homeless girl get up on and panhandle with Luke on the docks, or wrestle Justus for some of Lila's fortune so they can sleep in some 5 star hotels in luxury? Will Helena put a curse on Tracy for stealing her curse book, or are her powers gone without those dusty old pages? Will Edward die mid-sex with his new bride Heather, or will she wait and kill him after getting pregnant with a new Q heir? Will Diego have any place to sleep once Courtney remembers to let Rosie inside?




Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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