Well, I'm officially sporting a black eye as I write this. No, I didn't try to get in the middle of Eric and Brady brawling and get banged up. No, I wasn't in the third car behind Nicole and Kristen. And no, I wasn't standing in the DiMera living room when Sami threw a drink, or being used as a ladder to help Sydney on the monkey bars. My malady is simple to explain. A cork hit me in the face when I popped the champagne to celebrate a superb Sweepstastic week in Salem!
I mean, really! Could last week have gotten any better? Methinks no. And that's saying a lot coming from me because it was allegedly Eileen Davidson's last week on DAYS, and you all know how I feel about her and all her fabulousness. I dunno. I heard a rumor somewhere she was leaving, but I don't believe it. Sure that may be my denial speaking -- okay, that is totally my denial speaking, but I digress.
Kristen herself not only went out with a bang, she went out with a crash, bang, and boom! The battles leading up to her high-speed chase will go down in DAYS history. I really can't pick just one favorite, but I'm always a sucker for Kristen and Marlena showdowns. I think Kristen herself summed up their vicious relationship best when she said, "It's always been about you and me." Which is true. Kind of. But you know Kristen. She and the truth aren't always on the best terms.
In fact, girlfriend can downright tell a lie and not even blink. Yep, it's one of her many, uh, charms. Thankfully, Brady finally wised up, although feeling sorry for him at this point is about as hard to do as threading a needle during an earthquake. It's a task to cough up sympathy for him when everyone from his family to the guy selling newspapers in the town square had warned him of Kristen's antics. But he didn't hold a grudge against Victor. That was pleasantly shocking. Actually, they're on good terms, which makes me happy. Ironically, they're about the only ones simpatico at this point.
Sans several Salemites going one last round with Kristen, most of them were going rounds with each other. Brady and Eric fought. Marlena and Eric fought. Nicole and Eric fought. Okay, Eric fought a lot last week, and I for one felt horrible for the poor padre. And Greg Vaughn completely wowed me with his performances.
In fact, every time I saw Eric, I just wanted to give him a hug and tell him it gets better, although in his case that might take a while. Like, Baby Ari might be in grad school by the time he feels okay, or Nicole feels things are okay. Eric hurt her deeply. He feels bad. She feels bad. I feel bad. We're really a sorry lot, and I can't blame her for holding a grudge. I was never accused or drugging and raping my bestie, but I did once have a friend accuse me of drinking their bottle of Naked Juice, and that hurt. So, Nicole, I know about pain too. Let's meet at the square and swap our sorrowful sagas over martinis, okay?
The moral of this sodid tale is simple -- Hurricane Kristen left endless devastation in her wake, and it's only going to make Salem a juicier place to visit while the cleanup process begins. You know, if everyone manages to dig out from the rubble, because things aren't looking too hot for Victor and Maggie right now, or Eric and Nicole, or Marlena…or E.J. and Sami…or well, just about everyone for that matter.
When it comes right down to it, Salem is an amazing hot mess right now, and I couldn't be a happier Scooper. With a Sweeps week as good as last, it made me stand up, cheer, and remember why I watch each and every day. Team DAYS is the place to be right now, and I'm eager to see what the healing process is for our fair Salemites. Yep, this should be good!
It should be noted that I'm not overly concerned about EJami. They've been through worse and bounced back, and I have renewed faith in them. The rest of the shell-shocked Salemites, I'm not so sure about. As much as I love Maggie, I'm definitely on Team Victor right now. Even though she tried to spray-paint his spots with sweetness, Victor is a leopard, and you know what they say about those cagy cats changing. And honestly, I wouldn't want him to. He was on fire last week and even managed to surprise me with an olive branch to Nicole. Yes, please!
Now, I could really go on with praising DAYS, but I don't want to scare you with "Happy Tony" as your used to snarky me. But I do have a favor to ask before I down my next glass of celebratory champagne. If Roman, Hope, or anyone else from the Salem P.D. asks about my whereabouts after the crash, I was with one of you having hot chocolate at the town square. Trust me, you'll want to comply. I have a set of keys to the secret room, and I'm not afraid to use them. So, I was not -- repeat not -- on a dirt road off Highway 41 picking up Kristen. Nope. Wasn't there. And homeless, woods-dwelling Brenda can't pin this on me. Unrelated, I will be traveling to the DiMera Compound in Morocco with a, um, good friend next week so I may be unavailable for conversation (and extradition).
Ding, ding! We have a winner. T has finally gotten a last name. Does this mean he's going to be more of a presence in Salem? I hope so. A lot! And if DAYS wants to do another spiffy movie parody like they did a few years ago around the Forth of July, they should remake Three Men and a Baby starring Sonny, T, and J.J. I'd pop popcorn for that!
Conversely, I also dig the idea of Abigail and Jordan becoming friends. No offense to Yo Gabi Gabba, but a part of me always cringes when Gabi and Abigail act like besties when we all know that Gabi played a part in Abigail's real bestie being Melnapped by a psycho. So, I wouldn't mind seeing Ms. Deveraux forge a friendship with Jordan, especially if it gently nudges Abigail into a new age set.
Speaking of Jordan, I don't mind her and Rafe's budding romance as much as I mind Rafe, Jordan, and Kate's budding triangle. The fabulous Ms. Roberts needs something a little more ambitious to sink her well-manicured claws into. I also think a Rafe/Jordan pairing will work better if it doesn't drag down Kate in the process because they have the foundation of a seen-it, yet it's still a sweet soapy storyline started.
Since I brought up seen it before storylines, I have a confession to make. Nick and Gabi continue to hurt my head. They're part annoying and part boring, which was a minor buzzkill during an amazing Sweeps week. Truth be told, I'd rather watch Cameron read "do not remove under penalty of the law" mattress tags at a factory filled with box springs than witness Nick ogle another one of Gabi's pictures and talk to himself. Not using Blake Berris to his full potential is like inviting Paul McCartney to karaoke night and only allowing him to hum a few bars of "Twist and Shout."