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 Two Scoops: April 30, 2012 columns
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It's not right, but it's okay
For the Week of April 30, 2012
Could Lexie be paying the price for Stefano's evil? Will Nicole make it out of Salem? And, what former couple is into PDA's in the Horton Town Square? Find out in this week's Two Scoops.
When the news broke of Renee Jones's departure, I knew that saying goodbye to Lexie would be tough. Part of me wished that they would recast the role and give another talented African-American actress the chance to continue to be the strong, successful, compassionate female character that dingbats like Taylor and Madison failed to be.

But, the more I watched Abe and Lexie accept her diagnosis, the more I started preparing a place for Renee Jones in the Hall of Don't You Dare Recast This Character. Renee is Lexie. Big smile, comforting hugs, and all. A few of you have sent in comments about Renee, which I started compiling. Dan Kroll, soapcentral.com's fearless leader, is going to send them to the DAYS rep and asked that they be forwarded to Renee. If anyone else would like to join in thanking Renee, feel free!

And, as for her daytime counterpart, Lexie's storyline is making its way through Salem. Here's how it all happened.


LEXIE
Thanks to consultation from pretty much every doctor around, Lexie's condition is fatal and untreatable. The only hope now is a miracle. I've watched soaps for a long time, and nobody has more miracles than the DiMeras. I mean, their patriarch is called "the Phoenix" because he's risen from the dead so many times! So, perhaps it's a complete defense mechanism, but I don't believe for a second that Lexie is really going to die.

That isn't to say that I'm not tearing up each time Lexie breaks the news to another Salemite. Even Sami and Nicole -- who have both had their battles with the good doctor -- were sad to hear of Lexie's diagnosis. And while I'm still not feeling NuCeleste and Whats-his-head, reactions from Kate, E.J., Hope, Bo, John, Marlena, and Abe all but made up for it. It says a lot about Lexie's character that she was the one comforting them when they got the news.

Of course, Stefano took the news the hardest, especially when he found out that her tumor could have been caused by extended exposure to fumes commonly found in underground tunnels….say….like the ones that Stefano kept Lexie prisoner in for a while. I love the use of history! And, Joseph Mascolo broke my heart when he welled up over Lexie's picture. This is why the show has to stop taking Stefano's kids away from him. Without his children, nothing softens him, and he can verge on a caricature instead of a character.


E.J. and STEFANO
Rarely do we get to see both E.J. and Stefano so hurting and helpless. Usually one of them has his respective wits about him. But, they were both so frustrated that neither can save Lexie, their mutual anger had to collide somewhere. Turns out, like everything else, it happened right in the middle of the DiMera living room.

E.J. admitted that it's been his life-long task to prove himself to Stefano. I think he even used the phrase, "I'm a man!" But, rather than dismiss him, Stefano rattled off some things about the fates targeting E.J. and that loving any child is a privilege.

Hmm…maybe he's not going to disown E.J. That would be good. Despite the fact that E.J. is biologically challenged in the DiMera department, it doesn't mean that he hasn't been Stefano's son for a long time. That fact is what makes E.J. so interesting and Stefano so vulnerable. I call that a win-win.

On a side note, I don't like all these reference to Stefano's "last chess game." If the writers are taking Lexie away from me and un-DiMeraing E.J., then Stefano shall remain alive and well, thank you very much. The DiMera family cannot consist of Theo and Chad alone.


E.J. and NICOLE
In non-Lexie-related news, E.J. continued to beg Nicole for another chance. She flirted with the idea of taking him back if they left Salem (read: left Sami) as if somehow that was going to help or be fair to Johnny and Sydney. I really love E.J. and Nicole as characters, especially Nicole. So, let me put this in terms that my girl can understand.

Let's say I'm at a bar and I order a 32-ounce margarita. Sam Malone himself is the bartender. He's got tequila, triple sec, fresh lime juice, and even a supply of those mini umbrellas that I like so much. But unfortunately, he's only got 24-ounce glasses. No matter how much I promise to tip, no matter how willing he is to make me a drink, he just doesn't have the capacity to give me the margarita that I want. It's not his fault. But eventually, I'm just going to have to go to a bar that carries 32-ounce glasses.


BO, HOPE, JOHN, and MARLENA
Bo came home from the hospital to hear the whole Alamainia saga. Thankfully, we were spared reliving it with him. I know that the guy spent the last few weeks in a coma, but I had to watch the Pawn and Princess Gina shenanigans, and I have to tell you -- hands down, I got the worse of that deal.

Now the four of them are ready to take on Stefano, and I am excited about it. I love the mystery of "Yvette" and her presence on the encrypted coin half. It's very old-school Stefano. I have a feeling that this will be one storyline that will fall to the new writers to resolve, so I hope the ending is something good. I just don't think that Stefano would ever kill Marlena, no matter what foolio comes after her with a knife. So, I'm thinking that the outcome will be a DiMera secret and not an injury for one of the fab four. I'm all for that!


BILLIE
Dolly McJazzercise interrupted E.J.'s perfectly pleasant stress attack to continue being the most inept ISA agent ever. Having been caught multiple times snooping around the mansion, she decided that the best move was to tell E.J. more secrets about Stefano in hopes that E.J. would forget the fact that he neither knows nor trusts Billie, and team up with her to take down the biggest villain on the show! What could go wrong?

It's not that I want her to break up Bo and Hope again, but without Bo and Chelsea, Billie is not as interesting. So, I really need her back in his orbit. Since there's a gang of four people, including Bo and a fellow ISA agent, out to get Stefano, why can't Billie join them?

To make it an even half-dozen, there's still a hunky ex-FBI/detective out there who would love to give Stefano some payback. Something tells me that Billie and Rafe could pull off a slightly cougar(ish) yet very interesting love story.


GABI, MELANIE, CHAD, and ABIGAIL
Whoa! Rafe remembered that he had a sister for a whole five minutes! Of course, it was all so that we would remember that Rafe used to be a cop, and thus his sister knows better than to misuse police funds by having cops investigate a crime that she made up. I'm all but certain that Gabi was so bummed when she heard about Mel and Chad's excellent adventure that Gabi whipped up a stalker.

Although, I would pay money to see Roman take Gabi's statement. "So, you're tellin' me, dat some crazypersonloon is rippin' heads off this innocent doll here and leavin' 'em 'round for Ma to trip over upstairs? I wanchoo to stay put. Keep out of trouble. And call me the second the other half of this doll turns up, yougotme? This has DiMera written all over it."

Sadly, the police should really be investigating Melanie's missing brain, since the former schemer can't see what Gabi is up to. But, at least we have Abigail! She's onto Gabi. And as a card-carrying member of the Kate Mansi Is Stellar Club, I can't wait to see where this goes. Gabi excluded, I haven't liked a teen scene this much since the Last Blast days, and I'm actually a little optimistic about what summer adventures these kids could get into!


NICOLE and SAMI
Hurrah for Sami and Nicole scenes! If you follow the Lady Sweeney on Twitter, you'll know that she tweeted this week, "I tuned into #Days just in time for 'whose bun is that in your oven?' ha!! Freeze frame on @Ari_Zucker trying not to laugh!" Their scene did not disappoint last week in its catty brilliance!

First, Nicole had the audacity to give Sami 'tude for being underqualified for the job at Countess W, which is rich, considering that Nicole was for some reason qualified to be a campaign/PR manager for a mayoral candidate just a few weeks ago.

Then, Nicole lamented that Sami has never eared anything in her whole life. Look, Nicole is not wrong on either account, but has there been a blacker pot ever? What is the last job that Nicole went out and interviewed for? Didn't Sami's soon-to-be-ex just step in and claim to be Nicole's baby daddy?

Finally, in a move that was utterly un-Nicole, she let it slip that Rafe deserves kids of his own someday. Sami didn't let this one slide. Nicole tried to save it with mention of her high-risk pregnancy, but I'm not so sure that Sami bought it. Were Sami not so busy running a company, flirting with Lucas, and worrying about Will, Sami might be paying more attention to Nicole's lie. Stay tuned.


LUCAS
Take another drink. Lucas lost another "the one." Seriously, Bryan Datillo didn't even try to make that scene believable, and I'm not mad at him one bit for it. We all knew that Autumn would go out of season. (Ba da dum!)

But now we have to get real. Remember a few weeks ago when Lucas dropped a spectacular truth bomb on Sami about always needing a dude in her bed life? One must reach a certain level of love and trust with someone else to be able to do that and not get slapped. Lucas and Sami have that elite level of friendship, which I'd argue is much rarer than romantic chemistry on soaps.

So, I had an immediate and acute repulsion to Sami getting all sexytime on Lucas. It was like someone put a delicious double cheeseburger in a blender and turned it into greasy, vomitious version of its formally sublime self. Yes, their family day was wonderful, but that's not the storyline they were given. Lucas accepted a job as Sami's employee in order to stay between Kate and Sami.

Stop me if you've heard this before. Sami brings a reluctant Lucas into her scheme, but all he really does is cock his head, scrunch his face, and whine like a nine-year-old who was just told to be nice to his sister every time Sami says anything bad. Oh, and then they make out. Super.

Actually, no. Not super.

Lucas rivals Howard Wollowitz as the TV character who spends the most time with his own mother. So, he has zero need in his life to be pacifying yet another emotionally manipulative woman. The guy is powerless against them and has been for years!

I agree with people who claimed that Safe was really Lumi 2.0, but the main difference was that at least Rafe had hold of his own balls. (Okay, that definitely came out weirder than I meant it to. I apologize…or you're welcome, depending how you took that.) But the Lumi: Friendship Edition allows both characters to have complete possession of their courage without surrendering to the other. To give that up for a roll in the hay is utterly unfair to the progress that Lucas has made as a character.


AUSTIN
My jaw hit the floor when Captain Denial said that he'd be patient while Carrie got over her feelings for Rafe. Austin, sweetie, Rafe is not the problem. He's just the placeholder for your problem. Carrie having feelings, yet again, for someone else is the problem!

Heck, for once Sami's overreacting and accusatory tone was right on; yet, Austin still thought that he could save his marriage all by himself. His plan started by taking Carrie to bed. Yeah, that should help. It's not like she'll start picturing another man or anything.


LOOSE ENDS
Nicole experienced terrible cramping while looking at E.J.'s name and ended up in the hospital. She and baby are fine for now. But, once again, Rafe said that he'd take care of E.J., and Nicole passively nodded in agreement like a good little fembot. R.I.P. Real Nicole.

Shame on me. I was so busy rolling my eyes at "powerful" businesswoman Madison throwing a hissy fit about how Ian still has control over her that I didn't notice Justin Kiriakis was back on-screen! He told Madison that she's SOL and then invited the Sexingtons over for dinner. Talk about manners! Why doesn't this guy get more screen time?

E.J. told Will to hack into the hospital's computer system and (I'm guessing) get Nicole's medical records. Don't say Mama Sami didn't teach Will anything!

The tarot cards told Abigail that she has a future in journalism, but not one with a flirty older fella. Oh, and the lady with swords card means that Abigail might make a big decision, despite not having all of the pertinent information. Celeste assumed that meant doom for Cameron and Abigail, but it sounded a lot like Abigail's recent situation with Austin. Could it be that the tarot cards were just a few days behind?

Carrie and Nicole had a surprisingly civil conversation. Since we all know that Carrie is no E.J. fan, can Carrie be let in on the baby secret? If she really needs an excuse, Carrie could represent Nicole in her divorce, giving Nicole and Carrie attorney/client privilege.

I'm kinda over Will's attitude towards Sami -- not because I think Sami deserves his forgiveness, but because I want Will to be able to move on with his life. Although, I did appreciate his, "How's working for Stefano, by the way?" line, considering the lecture Sami gave Will about working for E.J.

In conversation with Celeste, Cameron said that his dad is "gone." So, do we assume he's dead? In prison? Joined a traveling circus?


Extra Scoops


HOT:
I'd be lying if I didn't worry a little about Abe after Lexie is gone. (Honestly, we already have one Roman.) But, the work that James Reynolds is doing is so tremendous that I can't help but enjoy him each day. Abe had a regal, stoic quality about him that cracked in just the right places, the likes of which might only be rivaled by Victor Kiriakis. Indeed, Abe is a strong man. And since Abe has never been one to play the victim before, I love that his character is staying true to that despite the horrible hand that life dealt him. When Abe said, "It's going to be okay," I sniffled and nodded my head in agreement. We're all here for you, partner!


NOT:
So, if I follow correctly, Kate has no job, no clothes, no home, and no money. Then, Ian offered her the co-CEO job of another cosmetics company and called in a fashion fairy godmother to give Kate a brand-new wardrobe. Yet, Kate still found it necessary to complain about Madison and order Ian to fire Madison. Um, no. Kate has no power right now, so her demands come across as pathetic, and that's not something that I usually associate with Kate. Who cares if Ian has ulterior motives, Katie?!? Get in there and take advantage of a bad situation like you always do! Quit whining!


LINE OF THE WEEK:
Madison: "Ugh! Someone get me some gas and a match. I'm going to light myself on fire." Promises, promises, my dear Madsion.


RANDOM THOUGHTS:
I'm constantly surprised by how much characters can talk about what they need to say without actually vocalizing any information. (Looking at you, Rafe and Carrie!)

It cracked me up that Bo kept trying to get out of bed and fight somebody.

It was a little odd to see Billie go all "my company" on Countess W when she hasn't had squat to do with it in decades.

Bonus points to the writers for remembering Lucas' military school days!

You have to have legs up to here to pull off patterned tights. Go on, Ari Zucker!

Rafe was literally the man of two women's dreams last week. He's basically turned into this guy

I kind of like the scruff on Peter Reckell.

I like that Sami's color coordinated her water bottle, shoes, and shirt.

If Nicole really wants to keep her baby from E.J., why doesn't she just tell Rafe that E.J. was the one who framed John? It would be hard to gain custody while one is in prison.

Apparently, the other day when Carrie was wearing the cute pink top, she took a break from yelling at Rafe for sleeping with Nicole and agreed to pose for a picture for him to put on his phone. She's a giver, that Carrie!

I'm guessing that Nicole's nurse doesn't live in Salem if she didn't know who E.J. was.

I like that Sami reminded everyone that she was 18 when Will was a toddler. And, I like that she acknowledged that Marlena wasn't around for reasons that weren't entirely Marlena's fault. However, as a big sister, I vehemently oppose any younger sibling claiming that the elder "pushed" them off anything. Dirty lies.

Rumor Intervention: If John turns out to be E.J.'s father, then Sami and E.J. will be cousins, and their relationship would be incestuous. It would also make E.J. a biological Brady, which would blow the minds of every sanctimonious Brady who ever lived (which is all of them). However, if E.J. turned out to be the son of one of those seven other sons that we heard so much about, he would still be a DiMera, but not the flavor that would be related to his ex-wife. I'm just putting that out there.


That's all for now! I'm off to find a Barbie Doll to decapitate. I hear that's how you get Casey Deidrick to magically show up as your roommate. Tony will be back next week to help Gabi make her bed in the bathtub, since that's probably the only place that she can sleep in Chad's studio apartment.

In the meantime, who do you think has the other half to Stefano's best friend necklace? Don't you think that Ciara would be safer with Maggie and Victor than with Caroline? How amazeballs was Hope's pink leather jacket? And, with Lexie leaving and Daniel unable to operate, isn't it time for Kayla to come back to work at the hospital? Click here to share your thoughts with me.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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