Logic is a funny little thing. It's often used as a tool to justify completely incorrect conclusions. I should know. When I was a little kid I deduced that a cream cheese and Skittles burrito would be a great snack since I liked tortillas, cream cheese, and Skittles. Makes sense, right? Wrong. I was so wrong. And if I wouldn't have been such a hardheaded kid, my sainted parents would not have had to eat my putrid creation just to spare my feelings and encourage my creativity.
Likewise, Salem is in a pickle thanks to some faulty logic by some ladies who are a heck of a lot prettier and more convincing than I. Here's why the lady logic set up Salem for a spectacular month of sweeps.
I am going to miss the crap out of Arianna. She's one of the few female characters on the show who had some backbone. She didn't let Rafe guilt her into lying for Sami. She didn't buy Sami's bologna sandwich about being responsible for getting Rafe and Will arrested as accessories to attempted murder. And, she does the one thing that all soap characters should do -- carry a Flip camera for the purpose of recording confessions.
Unfortunately, as soon as Ari found out what some woman did to E.J., Ari got into a freak accident before she could tell him the truth. Where in the name of Tony DiMera have I heard that one before? The only difference is that Arianna had a chance to go to Sami and Rafe and give them the benefit of the doubt first. They both failed miserably to convince Ari, but at least they made their points clear. And then Ari properly told them both to pound sand.
If I put myself in Arianna's shoes, not only would I be able to fit into some awesome jackets and skinny jeans, but I'd be tripping over myself to keep my brother away from a woman who shot her ex. Would any logical woman not be worried?
NICOLE, BRADY, VIVIAN, and VICTOR
I knew it would only be a matter of time before Brady snapped out of it and realized that burying people alive might not be the nicest thing to do. I didn't imagine that it would involve Isabella sporting Princess Lei's dress from Episode V, which just indicates that I don't dream big enough.
Anyway, the problem is he realized that a little too late. Not for Auntie Viv. She's still looking amazingly fab for being locked away with no shower or curling iron access for multiple days. It's too late because Victor and Nicole aren't going to let Brady turn back. Victor is free of the old ball and chain schemer, and Nicole has something to keep Brady in her orbit.
The stroke of genius was Victor's reaction. He was plenty mad at Vivian for planning to hurt Maggie and moving Isabella's remains. But, he was furious because Vivian defied him. He got so mad, he cited Greek mythology, likening Vivian to the tragic character Antigone -- a gal whose accidental incestuous paternity turned out to be the least of her problems in life. Brilliant. It's always all about Victor, and he'll take over Project Vivian.
Furthermore, I love the idea of Nicole and Victor being on the same side. Arianne Zucker and John Aniston managed to pull off one of the most ill-conceived and mismatched romances in DAYS history, so there's no doubt in my mind that these two talented actors can handle a little attempted murder cover-up.
As nonsensical as it is for the one person who had a reasonable defense to be sent to prison, I'm thoroughly enjoying Hope's stint in the hoosegow. I want to know more about April, the mysterious situation surrounding her death, why Warden Lee is so adamant that Hope be preoccupied with anything other than April, and what will happen to Hope if she keeps asking questions.
The next best move is to have Hope team up with someone that we know. I say it's time to give Hope that best friend in prison that she's been missing. It just so happens that Hope has a niece who's due for some orange jumpsuit time. I would do backflips to see Sami play opposite Hope while the two of them try to figure out what's going on in that jail.
I understand why Sami shot E.J. in the head. Believe me, writers, I get it. I've fully comprehended Sami's motives. However, there is a BIG difference between understanding and accepting. And I happen to be one who thinks that Sami has a flimsy reason for shooting E.J. Listening to her, Rafe, and Will tearfully recap the aforementioned stupid reason doesn't exactly change my mind, but thanks for the flashbacks! At least I'm reminded of how beautiful Alison Sweeney is when she's playing a baddie.
Alas, Sami's missing a real human element right now. If you're a "good guy" on a soap -- which I've always believed Sami was -- you can't try to murder someone and then feel no remorse for it. (See: Brady's current storyline.) So, I'm a little confused each time I see Sami not only behave like a perfectly psychologically normal person when talking about E.J.'s shooting, but also verge on relieved and at peace with her decision. As a Sami fan, that really bothers me.
In other news, Sami needs to grab Rafe and whisk him to the nearest Justice of the Peace. Homegirl needs to hammer down Rafe under that whole "can't be forced to testify against your spouse" thing right away, if not sooner. Otherwise, Rafe's going to add "perjurer" to his list of impressive attributes, right under "bully" and "unemployed."
CARLY and MELANIE
To be clear, Chloe and Philip are the ones who screwed up. They are the bad guys here. Yet, neither of them has faced any heat. And it's starting to appear that neither of them ever will. All this time I've been saying that Chloe couldn't tell time with a digital clock, but maybe she's an evil genius after all. Somehow Chloe has managed to get everyone in town to lie and sacrifice for her while she shacks up with a hunky doctor. Well played, Ghoul Girl.
Carly is the first decoy. I'm not saying that she's an angel, but I'm tired of everyone in Salem treating Carly like she spends her spare time drowning puppies and giving wedgies to orphans. She doesn't. Her moral compass is just about perfect for a soap character.
Melanie is next on the hit list. I feel bad for my gal. She can't wring Chloe's neck so she redirected that anger at Carly. Melanie knew it, too, since she wondered where she got off expecting Carly to be perfect. It's that whole self-awareness thing that I'm so fond of in characters like Mel.
Mel continued her winning streak when she apologized to Nathan for flipping out on him. And yes, I noticed the foreshadowing when Nathan said that he'll never hurt Melanie. *wink* Mel even went a step further and groveled in front of Princess Stephanie's feet in hopes that Stephanie would keep quiet about Chloe's affair. Too bad Mel didn't get there earlier, since Steph's already told two people about Chloe's affair…and more.
STEPHANIE and KAYLA
I imagine that Stephanie will get more backlash than Chloe, but that's one tail-whooping I am looking forward to seeing. I am going to LOVE watching Stephanie's world fall apart. Don't get me wrong. That's a good thing.
Stephanie is the perfect soap beeyotch right now. She looked right into Melanie's heartbroken face and patronized Mel with comforting words about how hard it must be to find out that Chloe is a cheater, knowing FULL well that Chloe cheated with Melanie's husband! Daaaang, Steph. That's cold.
It will be interesting to see what the incorrigible little minx does when mama Kayla tells Steph that Chloe's test results were switched, and the right thing to do is to tell the truth. Chances are that Steph won't back down so easily. Those Brady cousins have a mantra: "I know I'm right, and I'm running with it, damnit."
But while we're on the subject of Kayla, she seemed really eager to deduce that Carly had switched the results. I'm pretty sure Carly did, too, but Kayla would jump at any tiny chance to throw some dirt Carly's way. So, I say we need a mediator. Oh, Adrienne! Please join the table in the seat between your ex-roommate and your sister-in-law.
Despite how wrong I think he is, I love that Will is covering and campaigning for Sami. Unlike Rafe, E.J., Lucas, etc., Will is a permanent part of Sami's life. If all those years at ski camp didn't drive them apart, nothing will. So, it's best that they get along. Besides, he's a teenager. It makes sense for him to make irrational decisions. That's what kids do!
I'm also not mad at Bo for trying to stick it to E.J. Sure, we know that Bo is wrong for dismissing Sami as a potential shooter, but Bo has no evidence to suggest Sami pulled the trigger. Furthermore, Bo does have proof that E.J. kidnapped Sydney and then broke a court order. Bo has to follow the evidence in front of him. Plus, it was a super low blow for E.J. to bring up Hope's "crimes". E.J. doesn't deserve any benefit of the doubt if he's going to talk smack about Fancy Face.
I broke down like a baby when Melanie proclaimed Maggie to be her real mother. If I needed a mom in Salem, I would totally pick Maggie too.
Ian is still mysteriously hanging around Stephanie. I hope it's because he's going to be part of an upcoming storyline for Stephanie and not because he's in line to take the fall for the paternity switch. I'm just putting that out there.
The show has referenced Nicole's miracle baby more than once. We all know that the doctor told her that she couldn't carry a pregnancy to term, but then again, that doctor was Dr. Baker. Hmm…
Random Stefano/Chad run-ins are not going to keep viewers caring about the lost DiMera. With all due respect to Casey Deidrick, Stefano has never needed help in the popularity department. So no one is hoping the writers hurry up and throw Chad into the mix before Stefano is forgotten. I hope the writers have something better planned for sweeps.
YEAH!!! Dr. Walter asked Dr. Manning out on a date! Yes, the spirits of Mark and Chelsea rejoice!!!!
Rafe stepped in it this week. Big time. First, he told Arianna, in no uncertain terms, that he'd throw her under the bus for Sami. Then, Rafe went to Will and coached Will on how to make Arianna look like a fool with a grudge against the Brady family. Who needs enemies with brothers like that? I hope he feels terrible sitting by Ari's bedside. That's what jerkfaces should feel like! Boo!!!!!
LINE OF THE WEEK
Brady: "Maybe I just realized that I do have a conscience after all."
Nicole: "It happens to everyone, eventually. That's why there's alcohol…It will keep you from doing something that you might regret. Like, the right thing."
I've never actually had breakfast in bed. It sounds sticky.
Hi there, new SORASed Sydney! You've got super-cute curly hair like your brother.
I love James Scott's acting, but he may want to curb the head rubbing and scratching. E.J. did just have a bullet removed from his skull and I would think that the constant touching would be a bit painful.
Since we didn't see Kate at all this week, I can only assume that she's been tied up on the phone with Lucas, letting him know what kind of a situation his children are in thanks to E.J., Sami, and Rafe. Talk about a time when Will needs his dad.
My husband had to leave the room when Sister Ann started scolding Carly. He mumbled something about Catholic school flashbacks and how nuns can use disappointment as a lethal weapon. On the bright side, I have a beautiful new macaroni wreath to hang on my front door for fall!
That's all for this week! I'll be back next week to get Salem all straightened up in time for sweeps. In the meantime, how awesome was it to see Kristian Alfonso get to play the mom side of Hope again? Do you think Arianna will pull through? And, who's the scarier boss: Maxine or Sister Ann?