There was not a new column this week, so instead, please enjoy a look back at what was happening in Salem during the week of January 10, 2005.
I know I've said it before, but it really does bear repeating. Why in heavens name would anyone in Salem want to get married?! It's been forever since anyone on DAYS actually married for the right reasons, and longer since anyone actually made it through the whole ceremony without being either killed or attacked by some flying object. It's a miracle that anyone even talks about marriage, never mind plans a wedding. Sami had the right idea - when in Salem - elope!
It's kind of amazing, anyway, that anyone would have anybody to marry, since all the reliable couples are being kept apart for one reason or another. You know, the usual stuff - lies, blackmail, that kind of thing. Even our long term sure fire super couple of Bo and Hope is being tested with Bo's silly loose lips. "I Love You" indeed! How dare he encourage Billie, knowing how she feels about him? That's beyond stupid, it's cruel.
Doesn't help the audience, either, that all the flashbacks of Bo and Billie's past have been re-shot, since the actress playing Billie is not the original actress, Lisa Rinna. Strangely, these flashbacks are being skewed. A long time viewer won't be fooled, but anyone tuning in recently without a handle on the couple's past could be forgiven for assuming that the daughter they are searching for was produced while they were together/married. And that Billie was just as strong and confident as Hope, while married to Bo. Not the case - Billie's weakness was the reason that Bo was attracted to her in the first place.
Meanwhile, Hope's looking pretty, well - hopeless, as she moons around waiting to hear from Bo. Strangely, Hope's behaving an awful lot like Billie used to! Ah, what a mirror world we've entered these DAYS. Don't get me started on how Hope has not yet let Bo know about his son's recent activities, either!
On the bright side, we should probably be glad that Alice's Tom pre-deceased her. Otherwise, we might be shuddering at the spectacle of Alice, Tom, and a third party whooping it up, ala Mickey Horton. Now there's a thought for you to squirm over!
I so miss the old DAYS, when a wedding, christening or a broken nail would inspire the whole town (well, at least the people we knew) to gather for a wonderful, overdressed gala time. The weddings now are not romantic, funny, or thought provoking. They are just horrible interludes in the middle of these character's horrible, depressing lives.
And the Powers that Be wonder why their ratings aren't what they expected ... sure wish somebody would buy them a clue. Here's a big one - viewers need a more balanced show to enjoy. Not this long, drawn out, seasonal affective disorder mood crusher. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!
See you in two weeks,
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