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 Two Scoops: October 30, 2006 columns
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Christie Clark
Auf Wiedersen, Austin and Carrie!
For the Week of October 30, 2006
It was another fabulous, well-written week on our friendly neighborhood soap.
Hey scoopers, and Happy Halloween. Please forgive me if this is shorter than usual, but the weather here in Northeast Ohio is, for lack of a better term, tripping. It was raining ice yesterday and it's supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow, which makes my sinuses very unhappy.

But enough about me and my headache woes. It was another fabulous, well-written week on our friendly neighbourhood soap. First things first, let's talk about Marlena and Roman and their new tough love strategy as far as Sami is concerned. While I appreciate the fact that they are trying to make Sami responsible for her own actions and to stop blaming everyone else, I couldn't help but feel they were a little bit harsh. And for Marlena to call Sami a wench (even though it wasn't to her face) was just slightly over the top and kind of out of character for her. Another thing that kind of got to me was Roman banging on Sami's door like he was the police (yes I know that he is, but dang she lives in an apartment building. There are other people there that haven't done anything to be disturbed like that) and then basically kicking E.J. out of her apartment like she was some teenager. His ultimatum that unless she straightens up, he doesn't want a whole lot to do with her was in my opinion, useless. You can't raise grown people. Sami is an adult, even though she doesn't always act like one, and you can't make an adult change their behaviour unless they want to, no matter what you threaten. I did enjoy Sami telling her dad to basically take a flying leap. Yes, I know Sami is wrong, but I am tired of everyone treating Carrie like she is some saintly victim and Sami is the Wicked Witch. If you think about it, most of Sami's schemes are born out of insecurity. Here's to hoping that she grows up a little bit soon.

Speaking of St. Caroline (Carrie) and Grizzly Addams (Austin), wow was their wedding boring! The only part of it that interested me was Sami showing up soused to the gills. Nothing like a little curse on your wedding day. And I understand that Marlena is upset with Sami, but I'm sure that she told Princess Isabella that she and John were going to get married again. She could have at least shared that with Sami even if she didn't want her there. But I digress. I, for one, am quite happy to see Carrie and Austin go. I have never been a particular fan of theirs and their characters just got destroyed this time around. Plus, it cooks my last grit (those of you who watch Y&R get that reference) that everyone is so disappointed in Sami and disgusted with her, but it was perfectly okay for Carrie to sleep with Austin, the night he proposed to her sister and while she was married to Lucas (which I don't think anyone found out about that and probably won't). Everyone was like, "Well, you and Austin belong together anyway." WHAAAATTT?? So if you "belong" with someone else, that makes cheating okay? Whatever, I hope they have a happy life in Zurich or Mars or wherever the heck they're going.

Max is just having one heck of a week isn't he? It wasn't enough that his car "exploded" (which is why I can't understand how Shawn made it go vroom-vroom into Victor's living room), but when he went to let Stephanie down gently in the hospital, only to give her a purple, sparkly bear that Abby picked out with "Be Mine" emblazoned on a big ol' heart the bear was holding. And then to make matters worse, when Max tried to break things off with Stephanie, she freaks the freak out and starts hyperventilating. So, of course, Max being the nice guy that he is backpedals and pretty much un-breaks up with her. Just how I'd like to keep a guy. Poor Steph. And then, he has a hooker vs. wife drama in his garage, thanks to Shawn (who, by the way, died and made Shawn king of everybody?). My favorite line of the whole week (and I loved a lot of them) was when Max told Shawn that he was tired of Shawn saying who could and couldn't be in his garage and if he didn't like it he could get out. And then he said, matter of fact since you took my car and drove it through a wall, you can find another job too. Go Max! What cracked me up about the whole thing was Willow telling Mimi that if she didn't shut her mouth about Willow being a former (barely) hooker, she would shut it for her. What's she going to do, kiss her and give her a cold sore? Please.

So E.J. really is a baddie. Sigh. I knew it was coming, but I just hope that they don't paint him into a villain corner that he can't get out of, because I love him, bad or not. We all know that he is probably a DiMera and will continue to do bad stuff, but I hope that he is more like Stefano or Tony and has some longevity, unlike the Alex North fiasco that I'm still trying to rid from my brain. But I do wish that E.J. would stop sleeping with Kate. I just hate her. She could fly away on her broomstick tomorrow and I wouldn't miss her. And what I don't get is apparently Kate wants E.J. to seduce Sami so that Sami stays away from Lucas and Will, but she's sleeping with him herself. Um, ew.

I thought the boldest move of the week was when E.J. told Sami that she would have to choose between Lucas and Will and him. Someone has a high opinion of himself, doesn't he? What mother, especially Sami, is going to choose some dude over her own flesh and blood? He should have known before that even came out of his mouth what her answer would be. But oh well, he's still cute.

I really enjoyed Chelsea and Steve's conversation, especially when she said "What I am supposed to do, sit on your lap and call you 'Dad'?" and he replied, "Do that and I'll poke you in the eye. And then you'll need an eye-patch, Captain Chelsea." Wow, I missed Days being funny. Then of course Chelsea has to try to humiliate her mother to get Steve to leave Billie alone. I still am not a Chelsea fan, but I love her portrayer, Rachel Melvin. If I can hate your character but love the way you play her, you are definitely doing your job. I don't understand why Chelsea wants Bo and Billie together. They haven't been together in about a billion years and she didn't even know them when they were together. Maybe it's because Hope hates her so much.

Speaking of Hope, she can really get on my nerves sometimes. With the whole Patrick and Bo thing, I really think she uses Patrick to punish Bo whenever Bo tries to have anything to do with Chelsea. She throws this big "You're never here for me and Shawn" fit every time Shawn (who the last time I checked is a full-fledged adult with a child of his own) does something dumb. I have said it before and I will say it again, Hope just can't stand the idea that Bo has a child that a) is not hers and b) with Billie. I know that Chelsea has done horrible things, but Hope wasn't so hot on the idea of Chelsea from the jump. And you know what, I can't wait for her to a) find out that Patrick bribed her doctor and the baby isn't his and b) that Patrick is partially to blame for all of the bad things that happened to the Bradys. But if I may make a prediction, I bet when it does come out she barely apologizes to Bo. If my spider-soap-sense is right she'll say something like "I can't believe I trusted him and he lied to me." And then she will expect Bo to just take her back and all will be forgiven. But that's just my best guess, I could be wrong.

Back to poor Stephanie. It's not enough that she ended up in the hospital and that Frankie ended up breaking up with her for Max, her mom and dad both inhale some bio-toxin that is attacking their lungs and could kill them. I just have a couple of notes about the bio-toxin scene. First of all, if I was mysteriously paged and locked in a room, only to have someone saying my name through the vent, once the door got kicked open, I AM OUT OF THERE. Second, if someone locked me in said room and the person who kicked open the door decided to investigate, there is no way in the world I would get down and put my face in the vent that someone was calling me from. Because I would be in the hallway telling someone what the hell was going on. I might be on another floor. Or in another building. But at the very least this whole story lets us see Grandpa Shawn and Caroline. I missed them.

Tek is a stalking lunatic. Doesn't he know that no means no? I used to like him, but he killed any affinity I had for him when he proposed to Lexie while she and her husband were eating dinner. Once again, that was bold. I really did enjoy Lexie getting fired, even though it gave Carrie yet another chance to be self-righteous. I really don't care about what she did to Carrie (and I just LOVE how they are spinning it to make it seem that Sami came up with the birth defects thing even though she just told Lexie to think of "something"), but she and Tek were doing it all over the hospital. That's just unprofessional. What if an emergency came in and she was too busy to treat them because she is half or more naked with Tek in some exam room? Whatever, like Sami said she is a really bad doctor anyway.

So what will happen next, scoopers? John and Marlena quit getting interrupted and get married again already? Who will be the town lawyer now that Frankie wants to leave (which I really wish they would keep Billy Warlock. He is fantastic) and Mickey is MIA? Who will be the town jack-of-all-trades doctor now that Lexie is no longer welcome at University Hospital? When will Patrick and E.J.'s dastardly deeds be exposed? Only time will tell!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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