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 Two Scoops: August 7, 2006 columns
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Bryan Dattilo
You shouldn't have been a-kissin'
For the Week of August 7, 2006
Carrie and Austin are two people who really just don't care and want to get caught. Otherwise, why would they be going at it on the roof of the apartment building where anyone could catch them?
Hey scoopers, you poor people are stuck with me for the third week in a row! We will be back on the regular schedule with Pam next week, so you have to suffer with me, just one more time (until it's my turn again, anyway).

Let's start with Carrie and Austin. These are two people who really just don't care and want to get caught, otherwise why would they be going at it on the roof of the apartment building where anyone could catch them, especially Lucas and Sami? Oh yeah, they did the back and forth, we can't, but I love you, you shouldn't be with my sibling, you should be with me drivel, but I'm sorry, that in no way excuses their behavior. Carrie has been married for like five seconds and Austin just gave Sami a very large engagement ring. Cheaters! Both of you!

The only thing that saved their duplicitous butts was E.J. being the one to catch them and deflecting Sami and Lucas's cheating spider-sense. Didn't you love how offended Austin seemed that E.J. might be spying on him and Carrie having adulterous "activity?" Hey guess what people, if you don't want to get caught doing your dirt, don't do it on a tablecloth on top of a roof where people hang out. But the big question in my mind is why exactly did E.J. help them? Did he help them because he didn't want Sami and Lucas to get hurt, or because he has something a little more sinister in mind? He did come up with an ultraslick cover story for them, in any event.

Jack died. Again. But don't worry it wasn't for more than like five minutes. Didn't Jack used to be a reporter? Could they maybe do something with that and maybe him having a dangerous story that he's covering instead of killing him every three weeks for the past two years? When they were showing the montage of scenes where he returned to Jennifer, I could not figure out which time was which because he dies all … the … time. But I have to say, kudos to Ashley Benson this week. This was the first week I really enjoyed Abby's scenes. She is whining much less and starting to get a little bit of spunk to her. Good thing that Frankie found that miracle cure that none of the doctors at University Hospital did. Now the angst can continue indefinitely.

Speaking of University Hospital, if it was a real place, I wouldn't let them treat me for so much as a hangnail. Not only does the medical care suck, the nurses are loud mouthed busybodies who tell anybody anything they ask. What nurse would talk about kissing to some stranger on the phone? A nurse in Salem, that's who! Now I understand that Mimi is keeping Claire's paternity a secret (but so are a bunch of other people), but she still should have ripped Belle out of that bed after they found out the baby was okay and smacked her a little bit. And someone tell me why does Shawn always look like a three year old who got caught with his hand in a cookie jar when Mimi catches him saying something about how much he loves Belle, or kissing her in this case. His little lower lip trembles while he tries to hurry up with a lie or, as Mimi put it, a spin on his little slips of the tongue, literally and figuratively. I know there are a lot of Mimi haters out there, but I loved how she played it when after she saw Shawn and Belle kissing and acted like she had no idea what was going on, until the nurse came in. I loved how Belle was trying to get the nurse to shut up and the absolutely sick look on Shawn's face as that little tidbit of truth came rolling out of the nurse's mouth and splattered all over the floor. I can't wait to see what is going to happen on Monday, even though I know that Shawn will probably try verbally wiggle his way out of it somehow, I also know that Mimi is not buying it. This is going to be ugly folks and I love it.

Poor Kayla. She just found out that her husband is not a dead as she thought, but he is still a stranger to her. A stranger that likes seedy bars and women that look like they could wrestle you to the ground (no offense to the lady playing Della. She is very beautiful, she just looks like she could kick some butt). Since we all know this can't be the end of it, I think Steve/Nick will realize that he at least wants to get to know Kayla and his daughter before he just casts them aside and slides back into his old life. I really liked Kayla having a heart to heart with Stephanie and letting her know how she feels about the whole thing. It was nice to see a mother/daughter conversation that didn't involve Kate hissing at Billie that she belongs with Bo.

I would love if Max and Chelsea weren't chewing up the scenery in like four shows a week. I'm sorry, I just don't care about them that much to want to see them everyday. Chelsea does something mean or illegal, Max purses his lips because he is angry, and then he forgives her because he loves her so much. Gag me with a fork. Why do you love her Max? Because she's such a good person? Oh, oops, no she's not. Because she treats you so well? Nope, not that either. I really don't care if Chelsea and Max end up together, but I really would care if they dropped Chelsea down a convenient bottomless pit never to be seen or heard from again. I would care a lot. I would save it on video forever.

So what do you guys think? Will Carrie and Austin be exposed (in the other way I mean) before or after the truth about Sami's scheme comes out? What is E.J.'s real deal? Will Stephanie get her man after all? Will Kate and Victor ever find out that their youngest son bit it into a wall at 200 mph?

Well, guys I hope having me three weeks in a row was minimally painful. I hope everyone has a great week, and I will see you back in two.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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