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 Two Scoops: March 27, 2006 columns
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Jason Cook
The wedding has left the building
For the Week of March 27, 2006
Shawn and Mimi have done it! They made it to their wedding and have finally become husband and wife. It only took forever and a whole day, but the deed is done.


Shawn and Mimi have done it! They made it to their wedding and have finally become husband and wife. It only took forever and a whole day; but the deed is done and we finally have all of the answers to all of our questions. Will Belle interrupt the wedding and declare her love for Shawn? Nope. Will Mimi reveal the truth about Claire's paternity? Nope. Will Victor do the right thing and come clean with his son and grandson? Nope. Will Hope return in time to see her son be married? Nope. Will Bo ever get a clue and kick his ungrateful demon-spawn of a daughter to the curb? Nope and Nope. Anyone who has watched Days for a significant length of time knows that the DOOL storylines have become famous for these types of cliff-hangers questions, but not so famous for keeping us guessing as to the possible outcome. Oh well. Though I am very happy that Shawn and Mimi did actually get married…I have this feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. With such a huge secret hanging between them; can they ever be happy? And (the burning question in my mind anyhow) WHAT will happen to Shawn and Mimi's marriage when the truth comes out? I can only cross my fingers and hope that Shawn does not dump Mimi. I realize that there are just as many Shawn/Belle fans out there as there are Shawn/Mimi fans so…I can't imagine where the writers are going to go with this one. Whatever happens, one group of fans will undoubtedly be mad with the final outcome.

I didn't enjoy the wedding as much as I thought I would. Probably because it was dragged out so long that I began to lose interest. It got me thinking though…when was the last time we saw a fun and enjoyable wedding in Salem? It seems to me that all the most recent ones have crashed and burned. I guess we should be grateful that at the very least…Meems and Shawn did actually get married, but it seemed like it was chockfull of one ridiculous stunt after another. Belle stopped the wedding because Chelsea appeared…Bo left with Chelsea even though Shawn made it clear that it would hurt him if he did so…Bonnie and Kate spent more time manipulating and plotting than actually watching the wedding. And what happened to Calliope? Bonnie locked her in a closet and that's it? Talk about lose ends. The worst and most disappointing lose end by far, is the fact that Hope did not attend her son's wedding. What a travesty. I can't imagine a more ridiculous thing than watching Shawn get married without his parents present. And don't get me started on the fact that Bo chose to leave in the middle of the ceremony because his selfish, spoiled brat of a daughter dared to show her face and was promptly given the boot as a result.

Recently…while scanning the Internet boards for soap chatter; I came across the following post. The poster (Jade) so clearly articulated everything I wanted to say about Mimi and the present situation she finds herself that I thought I would save myself some time and add her thoughts to my column (I hope she doesn't mind that I've taken the liberty but her post was too good to pass up)…
"Mimi - While I agree she should just scream it at him at this point, I still can't help but feel bad for her. I mean NO ONE, is helping her or supporting her in this. I mean she tells and then what? Shawn will be mad at her, Philip will be mad at her, Belle will be dancing on her grave, Bonnie will be saying "I told you so", and Kate will probably vow to make her suffer forever for it. So Mimi does nothing wrong in this relationship, has this "truth" dumped in her lap, is expected to tell the truth no matter what it does to everyone, has no support in doing so, and chances are when all is said and done will be hated by all and alone. Yeeeah… good times. Now please don't get me wrong I think Mimi should bite the bullet and tell. For no other reason then because she of all people knows this crap WILL get out sooner or later… better it come from her. I understand everyone's animosity towards her wishy-washy, tell or not attitude. And I understand being sick of this being dragged out. :) But I just don't get the lack of compassion. This is NOT the same thing as with Rex. Yes a lie is a lie, but Mimi holds in her hand the happiness of, not just herself but 4 other people. And she's expected to chuck it out the window for the sake of what's right… yes she should do it (no question about it!) but crap… have some heart for her! Not exactly and easy task!" You said it Jade! Mimi has born the brunt of something that has not been her fault. I will be extremely po'd if she gets blamed for this whole mess.

I have to hand it to Billie, she's edging herself back in to my good books. Though I am still irritated with her "make Hope believe I slept with Bo" stunt…her behaviour this week proved that she isn't trying to steal Bo from Hope. Everything she's done up to this point, was to protect her daughter. It was wrong but understandable. I think that Billie is finally taking off the rose-colored glasses and seeing her daughter for what she really is - a selfish, manipulative, underhanded, immature and evil little brat. I loved how she told Bo that he was being too nice to Chelsea (while he was scolding her for showing up at Shawn's wedding) and tore in to her. She accused Chelsea of trying to drive a wedge between Bo and the rest of his family and Chelsea admitted it! She told Billie that she will do anything to keep from spending her "best years" (oh brother - insert eye-rolling here) in a jail cell. The horrified look on Billie's face said it all "oh my gawd, you are a monster". Chelsea did not stop there…in a move that was surely calculated to win back Billie's trust and support; Chelsea pulled out the "you don't really want me card" and threatened Bo and Billie with the notion that one day, she might just take off and they would never see her again. My thoughts? One can only hope my dear…one can only hope. I'm not really sure how much more of this story I can tune in on. Though I enjoy watching Billie tear in to Chelsea and though I am VERY thankful that someone sees this little snake in the grass for what she is…I cannot stand to watch her destroy Bo and Hope and the family they had built for themselves. I have little enough free time as it is and lately, I'm beginning to think that it is plain ole stupid of me to waste it on a show that irritates and bothers me so much.

I don't feel bad for Lexie. I don't. At all. She made her bed, and now she has to pay the Sami-Piper. Being blackmailed serves her right. Her decision to go along with Sami's blackmail floored me though…she should know better than that. Once Sami has your number - she'll use it to flog the proverbial dead horse until she can no longer squeeze another ounce out of it. I just couldn't believe that Lexie agreed to mess with Carrie's life in order to save her own sorry ass. Nice. She has now gone lower than low. It's one thing to cheat on your husband…but to manipulate someone else's life in an attempt to save your own neck? Wow. I am shocked at the lengths to which she'll go - though…given the history of this character, I really shouldn't be. Lexie should have realized when Sami attempted to blackmail her that the jig was up and that she needed to come clean with Abe. What a refreshing change that would have been. A character realizes the error of their ways and comes clean to the parties involved and deals with the fall-out like an adult? Hmmm…who am I kidding? Anyhow; Lexie should have refused to manipulate Carrie and Austin, and told Sami to do her worst. As if Abe would have believed Sami anyway - it's sort of an empty blackmail threat on Sami's part…especially considering that she had no proof! I watched with amazement as Lexie fabricated a reason why Carrie and Austin couldn't have a baby together…genetic markers and a high potential for birth defects. Poor Carrie, she just about crumbled to pieces. What a horrible thing to do to a person - especially given that Lexie is a doctor and has taken oaths to protect people. Although…since she is cheating on her husband; I'd say that 'oaths' probably don't mean very much to Alexandra Carver.

Speaking of Carrie/Austin/Sami and Lucas, I think it's official now. Carrie will choose Lucas in her misguided belief that he is the only one who can make her baby dreams a reality. Forgetting for a second the multitude of other men in Salem - not to mention the world… why is Lucas her only choice? If she loved Austin with all her heart and soul AND they did actually share this genetic issue…why couldn't they adopt? Or borrow a genetic marker-free egg from her sister? There are lots of possibilities available…but we are expected to believe that Carrie is going to chuck her true love away for the sake of conceiving and birthing her own bio-child? What a ridiculous premise; especially when there is a couple like Shawn and Mimi who are in a similar boat and have decided to be together anyway and explore the adoption option (hey, that rhymed!). Of course, the nail in Carrie's baby-dream coffin was the scene on Friday with the child who came in to the hospital and had a genetic disorder. The baby died. Not to make light of a baby's death but…How freakin convenient that this would happen right at the moment that Carrie was trying to make her decision. This is the kind of baloney that drives me up with the wall with Days. Overkill people…Over-Kill. So I guess this means that Carrie will choose Lucas (genetic disorder or not…we know that Carrie will choose Lucas for the simple fact that the writers seem to be incapable of writing a love story unless the "right" people are with the "wrong" partners). I wonder what she'll tell Austin…if she tells him that is. Will we be expected to believe that Carrie would not mention to Austin the genetic markers they share? Will Carrie just go ahead and choose Lucas without mentioning to Austin that she cannot be with him because of the high potential for birth defects (though we know it's a lie…Carrie doesn't). Something tells me 'no'. And when it finally does comes out that Sami had a hand in all this mess (and it will, because it always does)…everyone will be angry with her; Carrie and Austin for keeping them apart and Lucas for ruining his fantasy life with Carrie.

Throughout the whole unfolding of "who will she choose"; I kept scratching my head. Why is Lucas even a possibility in this equation? I know that he's always fantasized about Carrie but she has always, I mean always made it very very clear that she views Lucas as a friend only. So I keep thinking that I must have missed something along the way because all of a sudden - Carrie see Lucas as being more than just a friend? Huh? It reminded me of that Friends episode where Phoebe, Rachel, Ross and Joey agree to be each other's backups (in the event that none have married by a certain age - they agreed to marry each other). Carrie has never been interested in Lucas, much else been "in love" with him. She has stated on more than one occasion that she considers Lucas to be a good friend only. It doesn't make sense to me that Carrie would turn to Lucas romantically if she can't have Austin. So there was both Lucas and Austin, hovering around Carrie and waiting with baited breath for her "final answer". I found it irritating to see them sit there like little boys who were waiting for their mother to decide who would get the last piece of cake. It was embarrassing to watch. [I loved Sami's line on Thursday when she asked the guys who had won the "Carrie Lottery". Seriously…that is exactly what the whole scenario has smacked of] On top that…for the past two weeks 'real time' Carrie has agonized over which man she would choose to be her life partner (would that we all had those problems). To me, it was a no-brainer. She loves Austin - therefore she should work things out with him. But…thanks to Sami blackmailing Lexie…Carrie now thinks that this is impossible. I go back to the question I asked above…what will Carrie say to Austin? Will she actually TELL him that she loves him but that they cannot have children together due to this mysterious shared genetic marker? I mean…in my mind; that's another given. "Hey, I love you and want to be with you but sadly…we both share a gene that could cause problems for our potential children". AT which point Austin would go "Huh? Huh? Double-Huh? What 'chou talking 'bout Willis?". But this is Salem and DOOL and we can pretty much guarantee that Carrie will go ahead and choose Lucas without mentioning the "reason" to Austin.

The whole business with Marlena irritated me this week. I'm not sure if I have the strength to talk about it…it annoyed me that much. First, I need to say; LEXIE IS AN IDIOT. I'm sure that's obvious but I just had to say it. It's been bothering the HECK out of me all week. Marlena - having been caught in yet another explosion/fire - woke up in hospital and wonders of wonders…she had regained her memory!!! Unfortunately; she spent a good deal of time mumbling in her sleep (uh-huh) about how she loved John and not Alex (duhhh) and as a result; Alex was the first one to piece it all together (of course). Enter Lexie. Did I mention that she's an idiot? Yes? Well, it bears saying again. Okay so, Lexie goes in to Marlena's room to check on her and Marlena goes "Lexie! I remember!". What does Lexie do? SHE FREAKING INJECTS HER WITH A SEDATIVE. Is that not THE most bone-headed thing EVER? WHY? WHYYYYYYYY??? (that's me screaming at the TV…after which I threw my son's legos, a plastic cup, the notepad I was writing in and my slipper at the TV). To top it off - Lexie then simply walked out of the room without telling ANYONE that Marlena had awoken and remembered who she was. Huh??? What the heck was that? How did that make sense? What kind of doctor is she? (these are all rhetorical questions I know but…I still felt the need to yell them out to nobody in particular). Lexie went about her business without giving a thought to the fact that she should TELL someone that Marlena woke up…duhh…like maybe, oh I don't know…just a wild guess but…HER HUSBAND would be nice (either of them…Marlena or Lexie's husband would have sufficed). Talk about an utterly ridiculous, pointless bunch of scenes. I might as well not have watched ANY of the scenes in this storyline all week until Friday's episode when Marlena (thanks to a timely injection by Dr. Evil Alex) returned to her memory-less persona. That's right…Marlena has lost her memory again (I've lost my 'memory' and I don't know where to find it) and is still bound and determined to re-marry Alex. One of the recent rumors (see below) indicated that this blight of a story would continue on in to the summer. Given what happened last week - I can see how this could become a reality. Somebody Saaaaaave Us!

In other…not so annoying news…I found myself enjoying the conversation between Frankie and Jennifer before they left for the wedding. We viewers are great at pointing out when the writers move things along too quickly or have the characters get over their partners too quickly, so for me, it was a nice change to see Jennifer actually struggling with her decision to pursue a relationship with Frankie. Jennifer expressed confusion because she loved and missed Jack so much and felt like she was dishonoring his memory by moving on so quickly; but at the same time, she does have feelings for Frankie and feels that she owes her children a loving, two-parent home. The other part of the equation is that Jennifer has convinced herself that her relationship with Frankie is what Jack would have wanted. Seeing as how this storyline has been back-burnered for a while; I wonder if this means that we'll finally find out where Jack has been hiding all this time and whether he has managed to cure his mysterious disease?

Can you give me A Hallelujah:
- Roman has returned from the great unknown that swallows various DOOL characters from time to time. He asked John why he hadn't been told about Marlena's accident (explosion at the cabin). I wanted John to reply "because no one knew where da hell you were!".
- Austin mentioned that Nicole had been permanently relocated to L.A. to run High Style. As we all suspected…the character's departure was neatly handled with a convenient behind-the-scenes move. Now…if we could only find out what the heck happened to Cassie…

Rumors…
  • Carrie and Sami BOTH end up pregnant and neither knows if Lucas or Austin are the fathers of their babies! [Now this is what I call a whole new spin on the old 'who's-your-daddy' storyline]
  • The honeymoon period for Shawn and Mimi comes to a quick end when Claire suffers a relapse! [Another rumor states that the honeymoon comes to a quick end when Belle busts in on them at the Horton Cabin…]
  • Don't look for the John/Alex/Marlena triangle to end anytime soon. Word is Alex is going to kidnap Marlena and leave Salem with her, with John in pursuit for a Summer Storyline. [Oh lord…would someone just shoot Alex and put us all out of our misery…]
  • Rumors have it that the characters of Anna Brady DiMera and Eric Brady may be making their way back to Salem in the near future. [I would love to see Eric return…maybe as a love interest for Mimi when Shawn dumps her for Belle and baby Claire?]


Reader Feedback: Thanks to everyone who wrote in and provided their feedback! I truly look forward to reading your thoughts and opinions so keep them coming!

From Ilene:"I have officially stopped watching the show after 30 years. I have taken it off my Tivo and tomorrow will probably replace it with something else. My proverbial final straw was reading the spoiler that Shawn actually marries Mimi and that she's pregnant?? That was it, I have had enough. It's insulting to us viewers what the writers have done to our favorite characters and couples. I mean really, like 2 YEARS ago, they break up Shawn and Belle over a "misunderstanding", the fact that he was kidnapped, but she thought he left town; whatever. But to keep that going this long, is pathetic. In my opinion, it just shows that the writers have no connection to, or respect for, their viewers that they profess to value. And characters repeating the same mistakes they "swear" they learned their lesson from is incredulous. I mean, you can't have it both ways. Mimi obviously couldn't have been that distraught over losing Rex, or she wouldn't be repeating the same mistake with Shawn. It doesn't work that way people. Well I guess, it does work that way in the small, pedestrian world of the writers, but I have better things to do with my time. And like I said at the beginning, the example I mentioned above was just the final straw. More examples would be Hope and Shawn's anger at Bo. Please, it's insulting. And the Sami, Carrie, Austin, Lucas insanity, AGAIN?? Billie trying to break up Bo and Hopes marriage AGAIN??? Enough is enough. Someone should inform these writers that not all drama comes from couples being torn apart."

From TreyD:"Hi Pamela, just wanted to say I love your column. I have to say that I'm sadly disappointed in the dedication of fans to DOOL. I have been watching DOOL for the last 15 years and yes I will agree, there have been many stories that have been less than desirable (i.e. the serial killer and island storyline). With that being said. DOOL is an entertainment staple in my life and I'm devoted to the characters no matter what turn they may take. It's almost as if these characters are people. And in real life people change, stories change. Hope and Bo have to be broken up because it's different and change is necessary in the soap world. One has to have faith that they will be brought back together. Lastly, I wanted to say that I keep seeing people comment on how the Austin/Sami/Lucas/Carrie storyline is the same from 10years ago. I was watching 10 years ago and it may be me but I see vast differences. Carrie and Sami never had heart to heart talks. Sami and Lucas were working together back then, and they're not right now. Austin showed no interest in Sami at all back then whereas now he generally seems to enjoy her. I just think we need to give DOOL a chance. If we are true soap fans, we'll stick with it no matter what. The point of a soap is too arise emotions no matter if they are excitement or disappointment. Stay faithful to our soaps and don't just abandon them. because no matter how much DOOL may disappoint me, if it were cancelled, I would be devastated."

From Tammy:"You are soooo right about Chelsea! There is nothing likable about her at all. She is scheming and selfish. The character has no redeeming qualities. Sami is scheming and selfish too, but at least she always does what she does for love. Misguided? Yes. But at least there is a method to her madness. Chelsea makes me want to reach into the television and slap her face!"

From Jean:" just wanted to wonder aloud, how did Hope:
1.- Lean over the cliff reassuring the little boy, everything will be ok..
2.- Fall headlong over that same cliff..
3.- Land face first but safely..
4.- Gather the boy to her bosom..
5.- Hang by a vine in order to be pulled to safety...and it took several tries and grabs to get the vine..
6.- And end up with…a still sparkly, crisp white outfit? No smudge no dirt no dust to brush off. I demand to be told the name of her tailor!!
Please don't tell me it is Lexi-the-WonderMedic of Salem. That woman can deliver babies with one hand as she is pulling a wisdom tooth with the other while giving Tek a lap dance without skipping a beat. I hope they pay her a good salary. I do enjoy your words of wisdom each week. Thank you for keeping the pot stirred."

From Marilyn:" Wow! I am so very, very saddened to see how far this show has fallen. For years I watched Days Of Our Lives, and I mean YEARS. I remember when it went to a 1 hour show and I can remember the glory days of the 80's years. If NBC wants to kill off a once-great soap opera, the powers-that-be are doing a great job of it. My hope is that the people who are in charge will realize that many, many fans are upset and want to see some major changes in writing. I think there are people right here that would do a far better job than the so-called "professional" script writers that DOOL has on-board."

From Carlene: "All I can do is agree with the rest of you, I do however want to add, the writers must think the fans are teenagers, no one acts the way these people do, Austin standing there with Lucas, waiting for Carrie to decide who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Give me a break. And how many Islands are there? It seems like there is one for everyone on the show. And amnesia??? One for every Island."

From Shannon B: TEK is so creepy. I am sick of him pushing himself on Lexie! I think the thing that really ticks me off about him is how he seems to enjoy making his moves on Lexie in semi-public places. I'd like to know what his past is. Remember when Celeste kept warning Lexie about "Thomas E. Kramer" before Abe came back from the island? Something is just not right with this "cop"."

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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