Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you wonder if your daddy was daffy? Did you decide to be otherwise engaged? Was your favorite instruction "lather, rinse, repeat"? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!
'Tis I, Scoopers! Wasn't purposely trying for the Star Trek theme in the teaser, though it's appropriate because this week was that sci-fi classic's 50th anniversary. Speaking of classic TV, it's true I just columnized for you last week, but I'm doubling up because I'm off to the Mid-Atlantic Nostalgia Convention in Baltimore to spread the gospel of The Bewitched Continuum. My book is very similar to these columns in theme and style. Stop by, and we'll talk Stephenses and Forresters!
I'll be honest, gentle readers: I had a tough time staying focused on B&B this week, and not just because I'm prepping for Baltimore. There was just so much repetition, and a lot of the plot elements made less sense than the Forresters think Eric is making. Plus I feel like I'm watching The Quinn Show, which is giving me flashbacks to when I watched The Leffy/Lope Show and The Amber Show.
What saved it for me was some boffo attention to detail and the many dropped hints that Eric's time in the spotlight may dig deeper than it seemed like it would when it started. I think Sheila would be jealous, though, because even her presence didn't have her name on everyone's lips like Quinn's does. Sheila would be rolling in her not-grave 'cuz there's no way she's dead! Enough small talk -- let's Scoop about it!
A BRILL-IANT INVESTMENT
Well, Brooke couldn't stop gushing about her percent sign ring -- I mean her Spencer sword ring -- and texted a pic to Ridge like she just found something to help her along in The Amazing Race. Would you send your ex a shot of the new rock on your hand, even it's only meant to signify moving on to Phase II of your mutual plan? Brooke says she loves Bill, but I get the feeling the stock may be more important to her.
Bill was so happy to finally get back into Brooke's panties that he wouldn't have cared if Brooke pulled a Taylor and called out Ridge's name during the nasty. And The Great Drought of 2014-2016 finally ended for Brooke Logan; I don't think she's ever gone that long without male attention. You would even say she glows. But Bill, no whinnying. You've got the face and bod of a stallion, but that horsey stuff sounds like something off a bad kiddie show. Stop.
The next day, Brooke huddled with Ridge, Rick, and Thomas, not to mention Steffy, who seemed jealous to see Bill's ring on Brooke's finger. ("Still" want some of that, Steffy?) Usually things blow up when Rick and Thomas are in a room together, but they were united against Quinn. Hell, Ridge even acknowledged Rick's concern about never being CEO and told him that he, Maya, and Lizzie would always be taken care of! Wow!
IT'S TIME TO TAKE STOCK
Liam had amnesia this year, so I can almost forgive him forgetting he's got control of Bill's 12½% stake in Forrester. Liam must still have that control, because it never reverted back to Bill on-screen as far as I know. But everyone else? They're drinking Milk of Amnesia by the gallon, because they all still think Ridge needs to get Bill's stock to amass 62½% and force Eric out!
I don't know if someone in the writing room spaced, or if someone's trying to pull the wool over our eyes, but, like I said last week, this group already has controlling interest because of Liam controlling Bill's shares. Rick should know that, because it's how he got tossed out on his ass! Yet he says nothing. Liam himself lobbied for control of Bill's stock last year but never once suggests it to accomplish the same toss-out with Eric.
And then Steffy and Thomas are vague about what their ejection plan is, and Liam leaves it at that! If Liam knew the stock-amassing was happening again, he'd be the first to set the wheels in motion like he did before. This whole stock thing is such an up-yours to continuity, I can't begin to tell ya. Does the show think we don't remember these details?
Think about this: Liam could fix everything, and I mean everything. All he has to do to get Quinn away from Eric is declare "Adam's" love for "Eve!" Liam could even do it as pure manipulation to get back at Quinn for kidnapping him. How epic would that be? Yeah, that clears the way for Wyatt and Steffy, but so what. If I have to watch Liam pining for Steffy any longer, I'm seriously going to blow chunks!
SEND IN THE CLONES
Ivy figured out pretty quickly that Quinn was trying to turn her into nuSteffy. What I don't get is, why is Ivy going along with losing her Australian accent? Ashleigh Brewer's doing a good job of Americanizing her voice, but come on: Ashleigh can do it, but Ivy would never be able to do it instantly like that. Plus, I found it unnerving. As I said last week, Liam found Ivy's Aussie-ness charming. Making Ivy a Steffy twin is unnecessary.
It's especially unnecessary because Ivy still has the hots for Liam, which baffles me. "Maybe I don't want to risk rejection," Ivy said as Quinn became unusually direct in revealing her plan to have Ivy divert Liam from Steffy. Liam must be Son of Stallion in every way that counts because that's the only way Ivy would be able to forget that the guy dumped her at her best friend's memorial service. Down go those IQ points, Ivy!
Liam disappointed me, too, because the Steffy-izing of Ivy seemed to work for him. He grinned and shifted around as if he couldn't stand up, if you know what I mean. Sorry, Liam, you only haven't gotten any since Quinn; Brooke had you beat by years. I'll give Liam credit for twice mentioning that Quinn pushed Ivy into the Seine, and for filling Ivy in on Quinn kidnapping him. It's amazing Ivy was still Team Quinn after that one.
Hmm. Notice how Liam left out the part about sexing Quinn? He did acknowledge that "things got pretty weird there toward the end" with Ivy, and I appreciated Quinn recalling how she suggested Ivy's keep-me-in-the-country nuptials with Liam. But then Ivy decided to be more assertive, as if blackmailing your cousin with your best friend's snuff film wasn't assertive enough, and "The Plant" planted one on Liam.
This isn't how I wanted to see Ivy utilized, but it's exactly how I knew she would be. I want to see Ivy's half-sister, Jessica Forrester, come home for a visit. She's been AWOL since 1996; is she still with Dylan? And I want to meet Ivy's mother, Claire Forrester. How about casting Martha Byrne or Kim Zimmer or someone of that caliber to play her instead of bringing in another L.A. Dodger for a cameo? That's so 1994!
WRING AROUND THE COLLAR
What took up the most air time this week was the hand-wringing done by almost every character that wasn't Quinn or Eric. Quinn Fuller had to go. Eric's decisions had to be respected. Wyatt shouldn't be punished for Quinn's relationship. Liam still loved Steffy. Here we go 'round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, here we go 'round the mulberry bush so early in the morning!
"Don't ever try going up against me," Ridge warned Quinn. Oh no. He. Didn't! Last time he battled a nutcase, he was presumed dead in a furnace, plus Ridge knows he nearly got his brains scrambled falling out of a helicopter because of Quinn. Surely Ridge has heard from Liam how Quinn nearly skewered him. Ridge has crashed cars through houses and swung through glass on chandeliers, but he's no match for Quinn.
Fresh from having the same conversation he's had with his mother for weeks (must be easy to learn lines on this show), Wyatt found a new ear to bend: Thomas'. Would you look for sympathy from the guy your fiancée made out with? I was happy they recognized their "chaotic history"; it helped. But folks forgive each other way too easily in this rendition of Los Angeles, don't you think?
Not to be outdone, Ridge and Steffy repeatedly tried to yank Quinn's chain by telling the jewelry designer her days were numbered. Duh, Ridge! Duh, Steffy! You don't plan an ambush of a world-class manipulator and then hint to her about it. If that was for drama and conflict, it provided neither. Besides, Quinn's too into self-preservation to not at least go on yellow alert upon hearing news like that. (More Star Trek for ya.)
Steffy took down her wall for a second, earnestly asking, "Is what you did to Liam and Eric to get back at me?" I'm with Quinn on this one; what is Steffy smoking? Quinn absconding with Liam happened before Steffy ever wanted Quinn out of her life. Off that logic, Steffy went for reverse blackmail and told Quinn she'd go back to Wyatt if Quinn left Eric. Because threatening to walk out on Wyatt first was so effective.
The anti-Quinning I really enjoyed was Pam's, because Quinn is the first person to finally say, "It's a good idea not to bring lemon bars to the office anymore." Maybe Quinn's not so bad after all! And Eric, really, a corner piece? This from the guy who keeled over in a coma from eating Pam's poisoned pastry in 2008. Quitcher bitchin', Pam, and lace a lemon bar with cyanide for Quinn already instead of just talking!
When characters on a soap start bringing up a certain possibility over and over, it's sure to happen. It's called "telegraphing," and it's a great device as long it's not done to death. So far, so good, but we're on the borderline: Rick, Ridge, and Brooke all felt that Eric's devotion to Quinn may be a sign the Forrester patriarch is "losin' it." And I don't mean that sophomoric '80s movie about devirginizing.
Rick even suggested that Eric see a doctor, and Ridge gently reminded Brooke that they "went through" dementia with Brooke's mom, an excellent bit of history mining. Granted, Beth Logan had Alzheimer's, and dementia isn't always connected to that disease. I don't want to see Beth's storyline repeat through Eric. But the potential of Eric's choices being guided by dementia proper is too great to be ignored.
First off, John McCook seems to be having a ball depicting Eric's renaissance, but what a tour de force it would be for him to take Eric through dementia. And it would certainly explain Eric being okay with bedding Quinn after he saw Sheila go to the nuthouse and back. Man, getting to see Eric making increasingly erratic decisions for the next few months...that would be must-see TV.
Then there's the inevitability of the entire Forrester-Logan clan rallying around Eric as physical symptoms set in. If Quinn truly loves Eric (somehow I'm not convinced she does; I think she still loves Liam), she could prove it by standing by Eric's side; even Steffy would melt at that. Unfortunately, there's no cure for dementia, but Eric could recover enough eventually to keep him on the canvas for years yet. It's a win-win.
Given all the talk of Eric not being of sound mind this week, I think we're going there with him, and if that's so, I personally can't wait. It's awesome enough having John McCook front and center again instead of sidelined for the young'uns; giving Eric something that meaty would be a brucie bonus, as the British say. Then Eric could get better and go on tour. Record some albums. And dedicate them all to Stephanie!
When Eric started chatting with Stephanie's portrait, telling his departed ex he was back as CEO, I thought, wouldn't he have mentioned that over a month ago already? And I chafed at his mention of all the buyers he and Stephanie had to the house, because I don't recall any coming over at all until Mary Ann (I mean Dawn Wells) headlined such a party earlier this year.
But then it got good. Eric recalled how the house had once been brimming with company and family, and suddenly it was just him. As he started tickling the ivories, I lamented that we wouldn't get any "Steric" flashbacks. Boy, was I wrong! B&B filled the screen with Stephanie/Eric moments that dated all the way back to the show's 1987 beginnings. There was a tear in my eye, Scoopers. Yes, I was getting verklempt!
IT'S A NICE DAY FOR A BLACK WEDDING
Quinn came home to see Eric in heavy conversation with La Forrester's likeness, commenting "I'm sure she would have done a much better job of acknowledging" the sacrifices Eric made to be with her. And found a better way to handle the incoming hate and anger. I'm amazed Eric didn't set Quinn straight right there. Steric's relationship never caused that reaction within the family! Ever! Like, ever.
Both Eric and Quinn seemed to be rethinking their controversial coupling, owing to the backlash they were constantly under. "What if we got rid of the uncertainty?" Eric asked Quinn. And as soon as he did, I knew the next words out of his mouth were going to be "marry me." I was pretty close! Only had to get a few other paragraphs out of the way first. "I'm a very impulsive person, and I always have been," Eric admitted. You know it!
Oh, man, I didn't think we were doing it, but there Eric was, on bended knee. We're averaging one engagement a week lately! At least Quinn is already wearing black, so the Forresters can't come to Queric's wedding in dark colors the way they did when Eric walked down the aisle with Sheila. You know, "disinhibition and impulsivity" are symptoms of dementia. Could Eric's proposal be a warning sign?
If it isn't, maybe his not reacting to Stephanie's portrait falling off the wall could be considered one. That was silly, because the poltergeist portrait already went rogue the first time Eric kissed Quinn in 2013. Eric asked what Stephanie thought of Quinn. I would have loved to see the portrait spontaneously burst into flames! How funny and different would that have been? Take note, all: Mrs. Fuller Sharpe Forrester is on the way!
It has its ups and its downs, but Quinn is the reigning queen of our screens right now. Should she be commanding this much story? Plunk down your portraits in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!
• "Steffy always wants what someone else wants. So Quinn should tell Ivy to go after Wyatt. Plus it would be fun seeing Steffy telling Ivy all the reasons she should respect her marriage like Wyatt keeps saying to Liam. Well, maybe not fun hearing it another 100 times a week like Liam to Wyatt, but interesting. LOL" -- "bikette"Yet more than one of you let me know through Twitter that Quinn and Eric are "gross." I'm still all for anything that keeps Eric on my screen, but I'd love to see him flash back to his relationships with Brooke, Sheila, Lauren, Jackie, and Donna as well. And I think that Quinn is rebounding from Liam big time. She risked jail to beg him for another chance, and now she's all Team Eric? Bouncy bouncy bouncy!
• "I am sad to say I don't like B&B much these days. The storylines are being constantly recycled almost identically but with different characters not to mention that there is no continuity of characters personality and/or behaviour. They are all like [a] bunch of schizos with split personalities. I'm glad Ivy is back but...suddenly she comes back looking and acting like an Australian country bumpkin which I find quite offensive since I live in Australia... [it's like Ivy came back] with amnesia ([forgetting] what Quinn is like), unable to think for herself, begging Quinn for a job (instead of going straight to her uncle) and wearing horrible clothing like she lost all sense of fashion therefore needing [a] makeover...B&B [has] no respect for their characters [or the] past experiences that brought them to this point." -- Agnieskza
• "Wonderful Queric wedding!" -- Mimì