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 Two Scoops: August 3, 2009 columns
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Hunter Tylo
Taylor Brooke Barcelona
For the Week of August 3, 2009
Thomas and Steffy are grown-ups who have been living on their own for a long time, but after Phoebe's death, they suddenly moved back home and became obsessed with their parents reuniting.
Here's my advice to Ridge. Ridge should log into Netflix, and add Vicky Cristina Barcelona to his film queue. He should watch the film, take notes, and then use it as a guideline for his pathetic indecisive life. If you haven't seen it, it's about an artist who can't really decide between a few various women. He solves the problem by living with two of them and sleeping with the third on the side.

This solution would be great for Ridge. He could sleep with Taylor when he was drugged up and in a Taylor kind of mood, and sleep with Brooke when he was in the horse riding beach babe kind of mood. And when he was bored with both of them, he could have a fling with Katie or Jackie M, or whoever else struck his fancy at any given moment.

Brooke and Taylor could co-raise all the kids, and when they were both sick of Ridge, the two of them could get it on. Ridge would never have to make up his mind which woman he really wanted to be with, the women could bond over being co-Ridge lovers. Everyone can have it all!

I only propose this because the "is he is or is he ain't" storyline is driving me nuts. Maybe he and Taylor will complete their vows. Maybe Ridge will hop on the horse and ride off with Brooke. But even if he did, he would be back sniffing around Taylor by the end of next week. He has been torn between them for decades. So, the only choice is the Barcelona.

Thomas and Steffy are grown ups that had been living on their own for a long time. But after Phoebe's death, they suddenly moved back home and became obsessed with their parents reuniting. I don't get it. Steffy was ready to toss her parents to the wind to be with Rick. But since Ridge moved home she has become obsessed with her parents. She has even resorted to sending fake text messages to her Dad's ex wife to keep her away. Why does she care?

Dear readers, it's a hard pill for me to swallow. At least we already knew Thomas was crazy before he started meddling in his parent's love life.

I find it hard to believe that Brooke would have stayed silent even one of the cold text messages from Ridge without barging in on him to demand an explanation.

Ridge irked me to no end when he told Eric he was startled and hurt that Brooke hadn't contact him after he expressly… told her not to contact him. "Head games, that's all I get from you," as the song says. Ridge instructed Brooke not to contact him, and begged her to respect his choice to marry Taylor and to leave him alone. And when he didn't hear from her, he was hurt? No wonder Thomas is whack; it's obviously a genetic defect.

Of course, Brooke didn't really follow Ridge's instructions, she obsessively text messaged him like a stalker, but Steffy and Thomas intervened. Do any of you have a magic cell phone that can get text messages sent to your Dad's phone, because I don't.

I think Hope and R.J. should text Taylor with Nick's phone and tell Taylor that Nick wants to dump Bridget and marry Taylor again to help him raise baby Jack. We could see if it works in reverse.

Ladies and Gentlemen: I smell trouble brewing at Jackie M. Is it just me, or did Whip forget that his goal was to try and seduce Brooke? It seems to me that Whip is far more interested in Jackie than he is in Brooke.

I can't decide if he is really into Jackie, or just thinks a debonair guy like himself can out maneuver Owen into Jackie M's wallet. While Owen is out surfing, Whip is whining and dining Jackie and trying to worm his way closer into her life.

Which reminds me… Owen followed Marcus to L.A. last summer and I don't recall them coming from Surf City USA, so just when did Owen become a surf-aholic? Just asking.

I'm already a little bored with Nick and Bridget. I liked Nick better as a rugged sailor who lived on his boat to a corporate type. But that's just me. I'm sure some of you really love this incarnation of the character, but to me it's dullsville. Zzzzzzzz. I want to be happy for them, but the truth is, I'm just not feelin' them this time around.

I was both touched and amused this week by the nod to Sally Spectra played by the late great Darlene Conley. To those of you who came to the party late and missed the delicious adventures of Sally Spectra, well, that's why God invented You Tube. Start here, with a little clip of Sally and Fabio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaLuIxe21C4&feature=related

As Clarke reminisced with Pam about Sally, I got a little verklempt. Trust me, Aunt Pam would have to do a lot more than put on a red wig to summon the spirit of the magnificent Sally Spectra. Even so, it was nice that they mentioned her name and nodded in her direction. She will be forever missed by her many fans, including me.

I also was touched by the tentative moves toward friendship between our formerly dueling divas Stephanie Forrester and Jackie Marone. These are two tough ladies who don't have many confidants in their lives. I loved the hug between them, and the surprising tenderness between these two touch ladies who work very hard at keeping up their guard. I like that they are finally on the same side and have chosen to set the rivalry aside for a common purpose.

Readers, I have pacing issues. In some storylines, things happen way to fast for my taste. For instance, the big scary love of Brooke and Ridge fell apart, and Ridge marries Taylor two weeks later. That happened way too fast. But when it comes to the impending relationship with Katie Logan and Bill Spencer? I think that one is moving way too slow.

The powers that be rushed to get Don Diamont on board when he was unceremoniously excused from duty at Y and R. But now they don't seem to know what to do with him. He was front and center when he first arrived, but lately he has been randomly dangled in front of us like an occasional cat toy. I'd be delighted with less of the Brooke/Ridge/Taylor nonsense and more Katie and Bill.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will anyone ever find out where Alexandria, Dominic, Jack, Hope and R.J. have been all summer? Will Pam put on the red wig again and raid Sally's closet hoping for a close encounter with Clarke? Will Whip whip Owen? Will Owen woo Bridget back from boring Nick? Will Nick hear the call of the sea and move back to the Shady Marlin II? Will Jackie M break out in a rash from Mr. Bubble after too many baths?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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