Is it just me or did Ridge spend all last week thinking of Ashley and her safety and not one hot second thinking of Brooke? I thought so. For weeks now the writers have been dancing around the issue of Ridge not feeling like he could go forward and marry Brooke since she clearly loves Nick and Jack more. So my question is why we have to wait so damn long to see this train wreck of a 438th engagement between these two end for Pete's sake! Just put it out of its misery once and for all. But wait! There is more for me to kvetch about…but first things first!
This storyline between the flattest and most boring couple in daytime has dragged on too long as it is. All these two have been doing is the 'Don't get together with Nick' dance for the last 5 years. It's always been about Ridge 'peeing on Brooke's leg' and marking his territory from the wiles of Captain Marone. Now the one thing that made them a lame duck couple (no kids) has happened and there sits Baby Jack…quite possibly the most doomed child in soap history. Why, you ask? Well, his bio-mom is Brooke (that just starts it all off on the wrong foot), his real Mommy is Taylor who is doing his half-brother, and there is a cat fight brewing between his half-sister and his aunt to see who will be his new Mommy. Ok…any doubts now? You have heard of these pay-ahead college savings plans? Well, this kid needs some savings to be put aside NOW for the years of therapy he will need!
But I digress. Ridge clearly still has strong feelings for Ashley and I have always felt they made a better couple anyway. She has a sassy no-nonsense streak about her that Taylor, Brooke and Caroline did not have. She's smart and is not co-dependent (well, at least not now…it looks like she is over that). I thought they had chemistry and a truckload more than him and Brooke. That has just become so predictable and I swear I only have heard from one or two people consistently over the years that even wanted them together (a big shout-out to my girl Linda in NJ…she is a faithful Bridge fan to the end!). It's dead…their dialogue is stale, the actors both look like they phone it in every scene now and they are as hot as Detroit in January. Do the humane thing, writers…end it now!
Ah, so many potential Mommies, so little time right Nick? Must be tough auditioning two beautiful women to see who the next Lady of Marone Manor will be. It's a little like a sleazy prize fight…"In this corner, weighing in at 130 pounds, wearing her doctor's robe and sporting a king-sized case of obsession…Bridget Forrester!!! And in the other corner, weighing in at 135 pounds, wearing her Lakers jersey and dealing with a mountain of repressed sexual urges for our sponsor Nick Marone, Katie Logan!!!" Sound silly? It is.
These two are just jockeying for the position of 'next notch in the bedpost' until his true love finally wakes up and realizes she can't be happy without him. Hey…PSSSST! Brooke…that's your cue! Seriously, Nick and Bridget remind me a little of 'Fatal Attraction'. She is getting in way too deep and way too fast. She even has that crazy look in her eyes when talking about having a relationship with him again. He has not exactly been very honest with her either which doesn't help. She is obsessed and has been every since they got together. I still swear this and their past are all a result of revenge on her part. If she can take her mother's 'Holy Grail', she will.
And then Katie FINALLY let herself go wild and out of nowhere kissed Nick…WOW! What a kiss! I haven't seen one like that in a long time around these parts! Maybe I am getting senile or something but I am thinking there could be something there. Maybe I have underestimated this couple a bit…maybe this is the passionate romance this show has needed for awhile. Slightly illicit yet very hot. Bridget will go crazy (we saw her do that Friday) and Brooke will come unglued at the thought of being alone because let's face it…it's only a matter of time before Ridge (hopefully) sends her packing and rides of into the sunset with Ashley. Wait, I need to stop typing to knock on wood, rub my lucky rabbit's foot, and cross my fingers. Ok, that's good. It will happen for sure now! Hahahaha…
Now for what bummed me out about last week…how did Storm go from dutiful and troubled brother to Ted Bundy all in one episode? That's just not fair! We finally have a decent male character that hasn't been soiled by the inter-family sexcapades and we are setting him up to either be written off by going to jail or by getting killed. I actually like him and thought he was a great addition to this aging cast but NOOOO! With the rumors that a character or two will be bumped off in the coming weeks, I'm sure I know who it will be. Ashley and Storm would not have made such a good pair anyway, I suppose but it would have been fun to see him with Felicia. Yep, they are writing him into a corner…how many more close ups with scary music do we need to show us that, huh?
Corpse #2 might just be Crazy Aunt Pammy at the rate she's going. Donna may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but you get the notion that she is on to her and will do anything to get rid of her and her little dog, too! I love how Pam acts crazy and says demented things around everyone and yet NO ONE acts like anything is wrong with her. If I has been Katie in the office listening to her 'Gollum-like' rantings at my sister, I would have run screaming to Eric to tell him myself that she needs a one-way ticket to the funny farm! I guess that secret ingredient in her lemon bars must be Prozac or something to have everyone so dopey that they don't notice she's a fruit loop! I'll say this; Alley Mills is doing a great job with her character…it will be a shame to see her go. Oh come on now!! We all know that quality 'crazies' never last on soaps. Some great examples would be Shane, Hector, and the grande dame of them all…Sheila. They are good for a few weeks or even a couple of months of scheming, sabotage, and even murder before they are sent packing. Besides…every minute we give to an in-house psycho is a minute Brooke is not on-screen. God forbid.
Taylor sure has changed, huh? I hardly recognize her these days. A drunk and now a mom willing to bed her daughter's ex-boyfriend and flaunt it right in front of his mother whom she is, curiously, taking all her cues from these days. In a thousand years I would not have thought she would actually do something like this. Ok, ok…for all you viewers out there that are happy she is moving out of the good-two shoes role, I understand that to an extent but this seems like the writers are creating a 'new Brooke' in Taylor that does all the same stupid and thoughtless things Brooke has gotten away with for years. Selfish to the core and now bent on thumbing her nose at everyone that is trying to get her to see how warped this really is. And poor Rick obviously has deep 'Mommy' issues to be chains her mother's rival and a woman clearly old enough to be his own mother. Bedding Ashley could be looked at as a hot young guy getting with a beautiful older woman still in her sexual prime, but this? AHHHH! Someone stop the madness!!! Maybe some people see hot passion between them but I still have a hard time trying to stomach it. It makes Taylor a 10 story tall walking hypocrite of EPIC proportions, that's for sure. And not to mention that every scene that Brooke and Taylor share together I do nothing more than picture them getting ass-deep in mud and slugging it out for an hour in a boxing ring. They always look like they are going to start punching each other out any minute. Taylor used to have more class than that.
As for last week's question, I had a mixed response. About half felt Katie should run screaming from Nick since he has become a man-whore of late and cannot be trusted. The other half felt there was some heat between them and that a Nick could be dating a boa constrictor and it would be better than another go-round of him and Bridget. I'll second that.
QUESTION---------Who was the best villain on B&B? Who is your favourite nut-job and why?
The Soap Box
Lovely says: 'I know I may be in the small boat here, but the passion that Taylor and Rick had was off the charts! I even like them together now, and the way I justify it because Phobe never slept with Rick so she is not like Brooke ;) Have a great week and I love your column.'
Nichelle writes: 'Okay, to answer you question about Nick. Yes, he has become the male Brooke. On the other hand I think that Katie would be perfect for him, she is nothing like Brooke or Bridget. Brooke can't make up her mind between him and Ridge and Bridget is too needy. As far as Rick and Taylor goes, of course I don't want her to go down the Brooke highway of shame, but I can kinda see why she would be going that route. Rick is one Brooke has totally no control over! She even has control over Stormy, look at how easy it was for her to manipulate him into going out with Ashley.'
Keisha proclaims: 'I love Stephanie's character! Eric, is too old to be with Donna the tramp! Ridge & Brooke need to leave Brooke alone, she's a tramp too! They both need to find happiness with other women! Please let Taylor have her baby & take Brooke out of the equation! I think there should be some mix up with the paternity test that removes Brooke from being the bio-logical mother! And can she please stop calling Jack her son?!!!!? Taylor carried him, so he's hers! As for Rick, he needs to find a woman his own age! Please create a storyline for Thorn, he needs some happiness. Thanks!'
Marilyn says: 'I love Nick and I have since the day he turned around in that chair. Bell has tried to completely change Nick's character and that is WRONG. Nick and Brooke love each other and should be with no one else. The fault does not lie with Nick, it lies with a sick Bell. Someone please do something!'
Have a great week everyone!!