As I began to wake up from another boring week at B&B, and in the spirit of last week's question, I began to come up with my own list of things I think this show needs to make it a 'can't miss' show everyday. It's my world and here are my commandments!! Brad, I am the Supreme Ruler of B&B, so grab some wood and listen up!
Commandment #1: This show needs to get back to what it was built on in 1987…FASHION, not singing! B&B has become nothing more than a weigh-station for artists either trying to boost their careers or trying to start them altogether. This is not American Idol. It's a crazy and unbelievable soap that centers on a family in the fashion business, PERIOD. More dresses, less cheap karaoke.
Commandment #2: Speaking of fashion, I hereby declare that someone has to dress the men on this show better and not like 70's disco bar flies. I haven't seen so many open-collared-down-to-the-chest shirts on grown men since I watched 'Saturday Night Fever' last month. Stephanie was right when she commented to Thorne that all he was missing was a big gold chain. As for the women, at little less cleavage and little more class would be nice. People may have issues with Taylor but she is the best dressed chick in town.
Commandment #3: I demand that we bring back the most intriguing and engaging character this show has seen in 10 years…Deacon Sharp. In my perfect universe, his return would cause SO much trouble for so many people and would define the concept of the 'ripple effect'. He would freak out Brooke, Bridget, Nick, Ridge, Stephanie….well, everyone in one way or another. I would have him flirt with Brooke but eventually end up making a play for Felicia. Stephanie would stroke out knowing her daughter would be mattress dancing with B&B's original bad boy. Deacon affected everyone's life at some point and I want him back NOW! That is all.
Commandment #4: I decree that Logan's can only be brought back into this show if they have something interesting to do. Storm couldn't defend me in traffic court and Donna is about as deep as a paper plate (and so are her storylines). Now all we need is Katie to come take out the trash at Forrester Creations and we'll have one big happy family in LA! Make the Logan's a family to be feared or axe them. 'Nuff said.
Commandment #5: I command that Ridge and Ashley hurry up and get married so there is no chance whatsoever for a 'Bridge' reunion. The whole idea of those two playing human ping-pong between each other is putting the entire world to sleep. Ridge is more appealing with Ashley and Ashley is a fantastic character, period. Bridge is yesterday…Rashley or Ashidge or Ridgely or whatever crazy nickname you want to give it is the FUTURE.
Commandment #6: I declare NO MORE PATERNITY CONFUSION!!! If two people hit it, it's their baby! This Who's the Daddy and Who's the Mommy (most insane plot ever in the history of soaps) stories make me want to cancel cable and throw out my TV. Every child will know who their parents are. And every paternity clinic in LA will shut down (see above).
Commandment #7: All houses in LA will have working locks. No more blowing into everyone's houses unannounced like Kramer in 'Seinfeld'.
Commandment #8: I want another hot guy to come in as a designer and turn all of LA on its collective ear. This show needs more men to round out the cast and they have to be more than day players. Hot, hot, hot. Someone that would even turn Brooke's head away from Nick/Ridge. Maybe thrown in a woman with a mysterious past that has ties to him and becomes the female equivalent of Deacon. I want new blood and not someone from cancelled TV shows or obscure made-for-TV movies. New, young, exciting, and steamy. This show needs to call Justin Timberlake and ask him how they can 'bring sexy back.'
Commandment #9: There will be no more alcoholics and pill-poppers on B&B! Enough with the Overnight Addicts Club! I want to see a greater variety of socially relevant stories…we grazed some with Stephanie's abuse story and the little PSA episodes where the kids tried burning down Brooke's house but that's not enough. And addiction, period, needs to stop being the only road a back-burnered character can find to get some screen-time.
Commandment #10: I command that two of the most under-used characters on this show be put on the front-burner immediately…Thorne and Felicia. I know, Thorne is getting airtime now but for it to be part of a 'Let's Stick It To Stephanie' plot by Donna is sad. Thorne has had shades of being every bit as engaging as a male lead as Nick and Ridge but he only gets the crumbs compared to them. Make him powerful in his own right and stop making him a doormat for every woman on this show. As for Felicia, I want to see her become a force to be reckoned with that can compete with Brooke in the fashion world. She has a great sense of humour, she has battled back from cancer and she could be the 'ace in the hole' that Forrester Originals needs to spark a great battle between the warring Forrester houses. Give her the 'hot guy' I mentioned above and let her spice up this show. If the Logan siblings are going to put us to sleep, at least make ALL of the Forrester's something to behold. One of these gene pools has to really make things interesting!
Commandment #11: Ok, so it's not an even 10! But this last one is a BIG ONE…I want to know WHO IS MR. GOLDEN? Is it someone we know from the past? Is it a new villain altogether? I want answers!!!
Commandment #12: Brooke Logan can only cry onscreen twice a month, say the 1st and the 15th so it coincides with the two times during the month I cry myself…when I pay bills.
I hope you enjoyed my 'Supreme Rules from Two Scoops' column this week. It's always nice to play Supreme Being every once in a while. There are so many things that Brad and the Amateurs could be doing to make us ALL want to watch everyday and it's my hope that instead of sticking pins in the voodoo doll he has in my likeness, that he may take some of these ideas to heart.
This week's question…what do you think of the Thorne/Donna booze-soaked debacle? Is there potential or is it a train wreck?
The Soap Box
Sheila says: 'I couldn't believe it when I read one viewer's comment that Ridge was "virginal" compared to Nick. First of all, Mr. Ego Borrester slept with crazy Morgan after Morgan sent the infamous email from Taylor to Ridge telling him it was ok. Ridgey Pooh would most certainly have slept with Bridget( whom he thought was his daughter for the first years of her life) had he not been afraid Eric would kill him. This character is scum!'
Katherine writes: 'If I could change BB there are three things I would do. Have *Nick and Brooke become the stable couple of the show. *Taylor and Eric get together and create the stable older Forester couple as opposed to the manic Stephanie. * Stephanie finds that Ridge is not her biological son. He was switched at birth when her real son was stillborn by Massimo Marone. She is now free to pursue her true love Ridge; and proceeds to do so. Also I would make Thorne a force to be reckoned with on the show. We miss him.'
Lisa thinks: 'Hey girlfriend! The one thing I would do to change this show is put Stephanie and Brooke together as a couple! I think Stephanie is hot for Brooke and doesn`t even know it. It`s Brooke that`s on Step`s mind late at night not Eric. Lol! I think it`s time Stephanie comes out of the closet. I`ll support her! It`s the only thing that makes since. Ha Ha Ha! Later~ Lisa K.' OMG!!! I fell out of my chair on this one!! Thanks for 'fresh' perspective, Lisa!!
Have a great week!!!