As a matter of fact, there are SO many head-scratchers that I may not have much hair by the end of the column. I love doing this spin every once in a while as I think is helps to fan the flames of angst and frustration throughout the B&B fan-base and lets me really make the powers that be at B&B mad as Hell. This is my top ten list of things that make no sense whatsoever and I venture a guess that many of you out there have wondered the same things…especially now.
10: What kind of drug was Dante on the night of the big pregnancy reveal with Bridget? He looked stoned or something… the woman you used to love says she is pregnant with your child as you sit there with her sister and new love and you say little of anything. No yelling, no nasty comments…not even something gooey and happy at the thought of becoming a Daddy again. HELLO? Felicia never has a shortage of things to say, that's a given. But it didn't even seem to phase the pretty boy at all. Maybe he's too whipped by Felicia knowing that any happy reaction would make her crazy. Who knows…and according to some of my readers out there, who cares?
9: What kind of correctional facility allows a revolving door into a 'private' cell where visitors can come and go (several at a time even!) whenever they please like shoppers in Macy's at Christmastime? No glass. No phones to talk through. Hell, I was expecting Phoebe and the gang to wheel in a cake and celebrate her 18th birthday right there in the cell. Everyone could have worn matching orange jumpsuits with a big '18' on them! It would have been fabulous!!!!
8: Did Jackie have a mental break or what? Maybe some anger management classes or something? I know Stephanie can be irritating to no end but I think Jackie needed to take a walk and get some air before putting herself in the position of 'America's Next Forrester Casualty'. Yikes! I have never seen her become so rabid. And did Donna see Stephanie push her or not. When it happened in 'real time', she did but when she was recollecting it, her field of vision of obscured. What did she see? Will everyone think Jackie had it coming after Stephanie's spin control paints the picture of a crazed mother who was physically out of control? Will we get to laugh again at the flailing legs going over the railing like a life-size Raggedy Ann doll? I know that's wrong but I chuckle every time I watch the clip. Soaps never can quite master the art of good stunt falling.
7: When did Nick start wearing suits all the time? Where is the hot sea captain and his assortment of marina fashion? The turtlenecks. The peacoats. I'd even settle for a t-shirt at this point. Where is the real Nick Payne? It was all downhill after he found out he was a Marone. What a shame.
6: Could this slimy guy Shane BE anymore obvious in his intentions where Phoebe is concerned? He may as well take out a billboard that says 'I want to de-flower the little rich girl!!!' How does no one around her see this? He's not that good of an actor to be that cunning. He's actually so transparent that even Hector can see right through him (forgive the pun). He does sense what the true motive is but he's obviously not a position to make any waves since he has skirted an obstruction of justice charge. I'd be keeping a low profile, too.
5: When is Ridge's 'Father of the Year' award going to hit the mailbox? After all, don't all good fathers chase some skirt instead of help their daughter celebrate their 18th birthday? But then again, with Phoebe's mother in the cooler, why would she need her OTHER parent to be there, huh? He's a slug and I don't care what his character's fans think…he keeps proving me right every week and this was just disgusting. His character never should have had kids to begin with. You can't be as selfish as Ridge and have kids. It just doesn't mesh.
4: What was the point of having Storm Logan come back to help Taylor if he's all but gone again? Couldn't any shmoe of the street have come in to (try) and defend her? Why get our collective hopes up at the return of an original character? Why does Brad insist on not keeping anyone around for any real length of time unless their names are Stephanie, Eric, Brooke, Ridge, Bridget or Nick? Can Brad spell the word 'v-a-r-i-e-t-y'? I can send a dictionary if he needs one.
3: Why is Amber showing up in Genoa City and not coming back to LA? I was never an Amber fan, mind you, but it doesn't make any sense that she would go there where she has not ties to any character and not be written back into the fold at B&B where it all started. With Thomas allegedly coming back for more airtime, wouldn't it make sense to have her scheming and plotting in LA again? So Amber will be a Sheila or Lauren type of character that bounces back and forth between shows because we may like the actress/character but are not really sure where to plug her in? Well, she was not that interesting enough of a character to really pull that off in the first place so good luck with that. Unlike B&B, Y&R doesn't need that kind of help…they are doing just fine.
2: Exactly how many more times does Thorne have to come and brow beat Taylor? When will he start to recognize the truth and start coping with it? Can I really stand to see Taylor blubbering one more second? NO. Please make it stop. Enough with the jailhouse visits and confessions. I am not sure what all of this is leading up to but it needs to start heading somewhere. And why is he harping on everyone's perception of Darla as a 'dingbat'? Ok, she wasn't and no one is saying she fell into the road because she was stupid! WAKE UP! It was an accident. Now let's all move on already! I like Thorne but this is getting stupid. At the end of Friday's show he was showing some signs of softening a bit…good! He needs to march himself back to the beach house and be there for his little girl or he, too, is in danger of competing with Ridge for 'Father of the Year'.
1: Why did Brooke ever marry Nick in the first place? After all the nonsense and ultimatums she threw at Nick during dinner, it became clear to me that she was setting him up with expectations he would have a hard time abiding by. She obviously still wants Ridge and probably always had. Her rhetoric proves it when she keeps coming back to the phrase 'You both hurt me and yet I love you both…I can't have two husbands, etc'. If Brooke never really has over Ridge, why go through the exercise of marrying Nick? She's fallen down so many pegs in my book (and she was climbing, believe me) to the point where I hope her character starts seeing a decrease in airtime soon as it is becoming to nauseating to watch. I think what really did it for me was her LETTING Ridge make out with her like two adolescents in the hospital supply closet while her HUSBAND'S mother is fighting for her life down the hall. Insensitive, disgusting, and as much as I hate to say this, true to form. It also makes me wonder how her die-hard fans could watch her act that way, either. The writers are tearing down a character that I truly thought was turning a corner. The closet scene was all I could deal with. You know, some readers write in and ask how I could still watch the show since many of them have bailed due to the repetitive writing, stale character development, and lack of any real romance at all. Well, that's a valid question and after Friday's show I started asking myself the same thing.
Have a great week everyone!