CARLY and MOLLY are outside supposedly helping HOLDEN and JACK look for the "missing horses." They are all supposed to split up and go in different directions but of course Molly takes off after Holden. When she catches up with him, she tells him that she got spooked. He tells her to go find Carly or Jack because he doesn't want to play these games. He says that what happened between them was a one-time thing and will never happen again and that she must go back to Oakdale tomorrow. She does her usual whining and then runs off. Holden hears her cry out and goes after her. When he finds her, she has fallen and has a deep cut on her forearm. In the meantime Jack comes back to the truck (having found no horses) where Carly is waiting. They have their usual verbal interchange and she slaps him. She figures out that Jack has a "thing" for Molly. She apologizes and tries to cozy up to him. He acts like he believes her and then tells her that she is conning him. Back at the house, Molly refuses to go to a hospital but there is a doctor a few miles away. After he takes care of her, he tells her to call him in the morning to make an appointment to be checked (which means, of course, that she won't be going back to Oakdale). As Carly shows Jack where he and Holden are going to bunk, Molly (on the couch) asks Holden if he will sit with her until she falls asleep. Later outside, Carly is on the phone talking to a lawyer and saying that there was no time limit on the agreement between her and his client.
At the Falcon Club KIRK is trying to get SAM to go to the office with him but she insists that she has to stay there because she brought LILY to the club. At the bar, PETER tells Lily that he just broke up with his girl friend of three years and has been urged by his friends to get out and do things. Lily swallows his story and tells hers. He offers to buy her a drink. She wants root beer and Sam sends Kirk out to get some. Peter and Lily are enjoying each other's company when he reaches around her and touches her. She has a flashback of Holden and says she can't do this and runs off to the restroom. When she comes back, Peter says he has an early business meeting in the morning and leaves. Lily and Sam have dinner and Sam suggests that Lily call Holden in Montana.
EMILY and DAVID are having dinner at the Falcon Club. He keeps his eye on Peter and Lily. Emily notices it and asks him if he wants to talk to Lily. She says she is having fun and they dance. He promises her that nothing bad will ever happen to her as long as she is in his arms. She suggests that they go back to his place. As they prepare to leave, he tells her that it's too soon for her to do this. He tells her they need to wait.
HAL comes to check up on BARBARA. He says that he feels he should be taking care of her instead of John. They have a very tender scene discussing John. He tells her she can always depend on him if John goes back to his old ways.
NIKKI and TERRI are at Nikki's home computer and they get into the police and FBI records. They find that there is a federal file on David but they have to enter a case number to get access to it. They try different combinations of numbers but have no success. Hal comes in and asks what they are doing. Nikki says they are doing homework. After he goes upstairs, Nikki tells Terri that she might interview David as a college project and get some information. Terri warns her that if David is anything like his father and he figures out what she is after, it could be very dangerous.
EMILY is telling DAVID (on the phone) that she had a wonderful time last night. SUSAN comes in so she hangs up. Susan wants to talk about David. She doesn't trust him and she wants to protect Emily. She urges Emily to go slowly with him. Emily says that David cares about her and she trusts him.
CAMILLE introduces her mother (SARA RUTH) to Nancy. She tries to talk to Ben but he puts her off because he is very busy. Sara Ruth talks about how rude he has always been and how kind Lew was. Ben comes up and apologizes. Sara Ruth treats him coldly. When she sees Lew, she greets him with open arms. She and Lew talk about Camille and how he should have a second chance with her. He says he has to go to a meeting. Sara Ruth tells Camille that she is still in love with Lew.
HOLDEN watches MOLLY as she is waking up. He sees the baby picture she slept with. JACK says that they need to go out and look for the horses but Holden says he needs to stay there and take care of Molly because of her injured arm. He feels responsible. Holden treats Molly's wound and she again tells him she is sorry. He offers to change her bandage when it needs to be changed. He asks her if he hurt her when he medicated her arm and says, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you." They talk about Abigail. CARLY takes some coffee outside to Jack. He says that something is up between her and Molly; Carly denies it. He tells her that Molly will do anything to keep Holden around. Carly quizzes him about why he is using his vacation to help Holden break horses. She thinks he is running from something or someone. He says he could ask her the same exact question. She tells him about coming back from Hong Kong when her father died and that she and her stepmother couldn't get along in the same house. He tells her that if they don't find the horses soon, he and Holden are leaving. After Carly goes in the house, Jack makes a call on his cell phone to someone asking him to get info on Carly. Just then we see a rifle pointed at him. He asks Jack what he is doing on his land. Jack tells him about Holden's job and the lost horses. The neighbor laughs and says, "They ain't been any horses on the Double X in years." At the same time in the house, Carly asks Holden to fix something and tells Molly that they have a problem with the horses. Molly says that she thinks they should tell Holden the truth. Carly suddenly thinks of a plan and leaves the house. When Holden finishes his job, Molly is about to tell him the truth when Jack bursts in saying, "You gotta come out here. You're not going to believe this!!"
DAVID directs someone to call the best florist in town and have them send all the red roses they have to Emily. He then sees the newspaper headlines about John resigning his job at the hospital and makes a phone call. NIKKI comes in to do a scheduled interview for her poli-sci class. She tries to get him to talk about his background and the people who raised him. He tells her they are alive and she tries to get a phone number or address so she can get in touch with them. He slams his hand down on the desk and says, "Enough!" He tells her he has a lot of work to do and must end the interview. He calls Peter and tells him he has another project for him to do.
The roses and MARGO arrive at Emily's office at the same time. Margo tells Emily that she is moving really fast with David. Emily tells her that he has helped her so much to get over the rape. Margo can't believe that it is David Allen she is talking about. She and Tom don't trust him. Margo tells her that all of James' assets are to be seized. Emily goes to David and tells him what Margo said. He is calm about it and says, "I have found something that no one can take away from me." She thinks he means the Walsh family but he means Emily. After she leaves, Lew comes in -- "You wanted to see me?"
LILY has invited LUCINDA, SAM and DAVID over to find out why he has been lying to them about his parents. The women arrive first. When David gets there, Lily says she wants to get to know him better. She asks about his parents and if he still talks to them. He looks in the direction of the bugged figurine and turns back saying he has a confession to make. He admits that his parents are dead. There was an accident when he was in high school. He says he missed them terribly even though they treated him badly. After he is gone, Lucinda asks Lily to drop the investigation and Lily agrees. Lucinda leaves and Lily tells Sam that she doesn't believe David and she is not giving up the investigation.
DAVID talks to LEW asking him to be administrator of the hospital. He is looking for drive and talent. Lew asks, "Would I be getting this offer if I were white?" The rumor around the hospital is that John resigned over the Ben Harris lawsuit thing. He tells David that he'll have to think it over. David says not to take too long. Lew calls David later and says he wants to talk more about the job. They agree to have dinner together tonight.
CAMILLE and SARA RUTH are talking about Lew. BEN comes up and Sara Ruth asks him if he has met Lew's wife. He says he didn't know Lew was married. Sara Ruth tells Camille that if none of Lew's colleagues know about his wife, then he has evidently left her. When Lew returns, he and Sara Ruth talk about the vacation the three of them took to Myrtle Beach. Lew and Sara Ruth do a little song and dance. Ben asks Camille for a drink tonight but she suggests dinner instead. She says she has a surprise for him.
CARLY tells MOLLY that she borrowed horses. She says she wants Molly to win. (news report interruption) She tells Holden and Jack that she went up to the north pasture and brought them back to their stalls. Jack tells her he ran into her neighbor who said there hadn't been horses there for years. Carly makes an excuse. When Molly goes out to get the mail, Carly calls Jessica Griffin about the letter. "She can't do this. It can not be legal." Jack and Holden are outside talking about Carly. Jack thinks Carly is after something. Back at the house, Judd comes in and says he wants his horses back. He has a buyer for them and he has to break them. Carly tells him that a top-notch horse trainer is working with them right now. She wants to rent them from him for a week. She will give him $500 and will promise not to tell his girl friend that they set up that kiss to make her jealous. Jack sees her hand him the money. She tells Jack that she was buying feed for her horses. Molly goes out to watch Holden. Jack again asks Carly what is going on between the two women. She tells him that Molly is the underdog and she always roots for the underdog. She says that Molly has been shafted her whole life. Jack picks up on that and realizes that she and Molly already knew each other and guesses that they cooked up this whole thing -- it's a big scam.
NIKKI and TERRI are talking about getting information on David. PETER comes to the door posing as a government agent saying that phone company records show computer hacking coming from this address. They say that they were doing research for school work and didn't get any personal information. He warns them that they are both on a monitor list. Any more hacking will bring legal action. After he leaves, they agree to stay off the computer but Nikki says there are other ways to get information.
Peter reports back to David that the girls will not be bothering him any more and that the next step in his pursuit of Lily should be arriving at her house right about now. At Lily's house, she receives a gift bag containing bottles of root beer and a note from Peter saying that if she gets her fill of root beer, he would like to have coffee with her tonight.
JOHN goes to see BARBARA, who is depressed and bored to death at home on strict bed rest. Lisa has the kids for the evening. He tries to entertain her with ideas of things they could do if she wasn't restricted. It just bums her out more. He then tells her that there is a Classical Music Concert at the park tonight, that that would have been fun. Barbara reminds him that he can't stand Classical music, it puts him to sleep, that he's a "Jazz Man." You'd be surprised what I like. He then tells her that if they could go to that concert....they'd need a blanket, a picnic basket... all of which he produces. He then tells her that it would be dark, he dims the lights. They'd be able to see the stars. He brings out some star garland wrapped around a baby's mobile frame and clips it to the head board. Barbara starts to perk up. "What kind of CD did you bring?" she wants to know, just sure it will be a flop. He laughs...I didn't bring a CD. "Didn't you know that there is a Quartet out on your patio?" He tells her with a gleem in his eye. He pulls open the window and tells them to hit it. Barbra is thoroughly enjoying the music and the food. She rambles on and on to John about how wonderful everything is. She suddenly realizes that he's not answering back. She looks over her shoulder to see John, sound asleep on the opposite side of the bed. She smiles and gently snuggles up next to him, under the stars.
PETER is talking to DAVID on the phone. He asks just how much the Princess is worth. David tells him not to worry about it. Just do his job. Any money he gets will be coming from him for destracting Lily and getting her off of David's back.
SAMANTHA comes to watch Luke while LILY goes out for coffee with PETER. She complains about the cold she's getting, but Sam talks her into going anyway. Lily decides, how long could it take, a couple of hours? and goes. KIRK shows up at Lily's house to visit Samantha while she babysits. He's all decked out like John Travolta from "Saturday Night Fever." White polyesther suit, black silk shirt and even the hair style. Sam laughs and asks him where he got the outfit. He tells her it's something of his from 20 years ago. He's impressed that it still fits. He adjust the seat of his trousers a bit, and says, "Well, almost." He tells her that just because time moves on, doesn't mean things have to change. Kirk and Sam finish eating the pizza he brought. Kirk tells her that it's time to play "Make Out." She'll be the babysitter and he'll be the naughty boyfriend. Sam tells him that maybe this isn't such a good idea. Lily and Holden broke up over trust and that is the same problem they have. Kirk assures her that when he lost her, he decided that if he ever got another chance, things would be all up front. Sam changes her mind about the role playing and starts to kiss him. Kirk stops her and she wonders what is wrong. He grins and puts on some music. DISCO..."If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want Nobody Baby." He starts dancing for her. He dances across the floor away from her, then comes her way and slides across the hard wood floor on his knees. He gets a pained expression on his face just as slides to a hault at her heels. "Kirk, what's wrong?" Sam wants to know. The pained expression turns to one of embarrassment as Kirk explains that he's just busted out the seat of his pants. Sam dies laughing. Kirk tells her that he can deal with that and manuvers her to the couch where they start kissing. Luke starts crying upstairs. Sam tells him that she has to go check on him. Kirk tells her to hurry back. That they don't want Lily to show up and spoil their fun. Sam thinks about that and tells him that he's right. They don't need Lily to show up and find them like this. So..she asks him to leave. Kirk isn't glad to be going, but he says he's a 90's kinda guy who can handle a "No" and tells her that he'll catch up with her later. He stolls out the door doing his best "Saturday Night Fever" impression.
At the coffee shop, Lily and Peter discuss their past relationships. Funny, Peter's situation is identical to Lily's. He tells her that it's hard to look forward to another day when you know it's just going to be more of the same. Lily agrees. He then tells her that maybe they can help each other change that, so they can both start looking forward to tomorrow, when they can learn to trust again.
Lily gets home and Sam wants to know if she had a good time. She says, "Yes, but it's wierd. His situation is too much like mine." Sam tells Lily that while she was gone, Luke had a nightmare. Lily wants to know if he called out for her. "No, he called out for Holden," Sam tells her. Lily looks bothed by that. Sam asks her if she still has the number to the ranch out in Montana that Cal gave her. She tells her "Yes." Sam tells her that she might want to call it tomorrow, let Luke talk to Holden for a bit and maybe she could even speak to him herself. Sam leaves.
BEN and Camille are out for a nice dinner, when Camille tells Ben what her surprise for him is. It's her mother. She invited her to join them, so she could get to know Ben better. You can tell Ben isn't thrilled with the idea, because he knows Sarah Ruth doesn't like him. SARAH RUTH makes it to the table. No sooner is she there, she starts making a total pain out of herself. Cutting down Ben at any given opportunity. TOM walks up and Ben is glad to have a distraction. He asks Tom to join them. Tom says he's meeting a client, but he can stay 'til they arrive. They start discussing the case against the Oakdale P.D. Of course Sarah Ruth just uses that as more ammo against Ben. She asks him who he thinks he is, ."...The Caped Crusader of Oakdale?" Then she tells Ben that if he really cared for Camille he wouldn't have her testify, and just drag her into his mess with him. She tells Ben that she's know him since he was in high school and she knows that he is the one that stacked the tires on the flag pole. Everyone laughs but her. LEW walks up. Sarah Ruth asks him to join them. He looks Camilles way and declines. He tells them that he's meeting someone in a few minutes. Lew leaves and goes to the bar to wait. Sarah Ruth tells Ben that Lew would never do something like causing a scene with the police. Ben tells her, "You mean Lew knows when to stay in his place?" Sarah Ruth is upset by that remark. So, she tells them that she has a headache and has lost her appetite. She's going back to the apartment. She gives Ben a cold look and leaves. Camille chases after her. Camille comes back to the table and apologizes for her mother's behavior. Ben tells her not to worry about it. Tom asks Ben if he'd like to reconsider his suit. Ben asks if Tom where him would he. Tom says "No." Ben tells him, "There's you answer." Tom's client arrives and he leaves. DAVID show up and meets LEW at the bar. BEN watches from his table. Ben wonders out loud, "I wonder what Lew is doing with David Allen." Camille asks him what he said. He says nothing. Camille tells him that she'd like to do this dinner thing tomorrow night. She wants to go hash out things with her mother now. Ben tells her not to do it for him. He knows how Sarah Ruth feels about him. He only cares what she thinks about him. David tells Lew that he needs an answer on the position of running the hospital for Heath Tac. Lew tells him that he has some personal stuff he needs to consider and looks Camille's way. David tells him that he really needs someone with a level head. He needs him, because he thinks that he/Lew, could be the one to get Ben to drop the lawsuit. Lew looks at Camille and Ben talking cozy and tells David that he'll take the job. Back at her apartment, Camille tells her mother that she needs to give Ben a chance. Sarah Ruth tells her that she needs to quit leading Ben on and get back to the man she really loves and is going to end up with in the future anyway, Lew.
JACK tells CARLY that he's figured it all out. He explains Molly and Carly's set up to a "T." Telling Carly that her only problem being, that she got caught. Carly does a "little side step" and laughs her way out of it. Jack starts doubting himself and apologizes. MOLLY and HOLDEN stroll in with an idea. They want the four of them to go out and have some fun tonight. Jack doesn't like the idea. Tells Molly, "Oh.. you're to sick to go back to Oakdale, but well enough to go out?" Molly tells Jack that going out to dinner doesn't make for strenuous activity. Jack wants to know why Molly is getting paid to cook and they are going out to dinner. Holden tells Jack to lighten up and get off the girls cases. Holden tells him that he'll take the girls out and Jack can stay at there. Jack decides to go. At their table at "Scampy's" Carly asks Jack to line dance with her. Molly wants Holden to try too. Jack and Carly burn up the floor and even get a little cozy doing it. Holden was right, he can't dance and proved it. Molly and Holden just watch Jack and Carly. A slow song comes on and Carly asks Holden to dance. Molly doesn't appreciate it, but off they go. Jack stays back and quizzes Molly on her connection to Carly. Molly wants to know why Jack is always so suspicious. Jack tells her, "Because I know what you want, and I know how far you'll go to get it." Molly looks a bit worried. Carly and Holden make their way back to the table. Jack and Holden go play darts. Molly lets Carly know that she didn't appreciate her taking off with Holden. Carly tells her that they can't make the whole thing look like a set up. They walk over to the guys. A slow song starts playing. "Come dance with me G-man", Carly tells Jack. They take off for the dance floor. Molly tells Holden that she'll behave herself if he dances with her. They go slow dance too. The troupe comes home from a fun evening. Jack and Carly race inside for ice cream. Molly tells Holden that it was nice seeing him have fun for a change. She tells him that he can't deny it, he had fun. Holden admits, that yes, he did have fun. They go inside. The phone rings and Molly answers it. No one will say anything on the other end. LILY can't believe that Molly just answered the phone.
With a storm raging wildly in outside. LILY hangs up the phone. It was Molly who had answered on the other end. "He said he was going alone to Montana", Lily mumbles to herself. "LIAR!!!" She screams as she throws the phone across the room, bashing it off the fireplace. "Everything, everything you ever told to me... lies!" She rages. She grabs the poker from the fireplace and charges into the entry way. She takes the "Good Luck" totem pole, that Holden gave her and bashes it to pieces. The whole time screaming "Liar, liar, liar!" She then flings open the front door and pitches the pieces into the front lawn. She stands on the porch in the pouring rain glaring at the pieces of the totem pole lying in the yard. EMMA walks up with her umbrella telling her that she just got back from her trip to Seattle, it took longer than she though it would. She realizes that Lily isn't quite right and asks what she's doing outside in the rain. Lily asks her if she remembers the totem pole Holden gave her to watch over her and Luke when he was gone. She does and then Emma realizes that it's what has be slung all across the lawn. "Just throwin' out the trash, Emma." Lily quips. Lily tells Emma that she knows Cal has probably filled her in on all the latest happenings. Emma knows. Lily tells her how she called out to Montana and Molly answered the phone. Emma tries to calm her down, by telling her that maybe she's mistaken and that Holden loves her. "I know that sluts voice!" She rages. "Get out! Get out of my house! You are just here to defend your precious son! So, get out! Get out of my house, now!" Lily rants. Emma tells her that she didn't come to defend Holden she came to check on her. Lily starts behaving really irrationally. "I see them everywhere here. Molly and Holden, they are laughing at me. They made a fool of me." She cries. She marches over to the fireplace and grabs the matches. "I'll burn it down. I'll just burn the whole house down." She says fumbling with the matches. Emma tries to distract her by telling her that she has to be strong for Luke. That just sets her off again. This time on how Holden has lied to Luke. "What am I going to tell my son? How do I tell Luke that we aren't going to be a family, like Holden promised?" Lily begs Emma for an answer. Emma tries to tell her that she understands her dilemma. "No you don't!" Lily cries and then slumps back into a chair clutching at her chest. Emma goes to her, trying to calm her by stroking her brow. "You're burning up, Lily." Emma says. "I'm fine, I just have a cold." She snips back. Lily starts screaming at Emma to get out, again. Lily grabs Emma's jacket from off the back of a chair and takes it to the front door. She pulls open the front door and screams for Emma to "Get out." Luke wakes up crying. Lily is upset that she woke the child. Emma takes her into the livingroom and rests her back on the sofa. Emma tells Lily to lie back and calm down, she'll go check on Luke. Emma leaves to go upstairs. Lily rests a moment, then gets a strange look on her face. She gets up and walks out into the pouring rain. She walks over to the place where she and Holden had the picnic under the stars and made love on the ground. She thinks about that, then it suddenly turns into the memory of the motel. Holden and Molly thrashing about in the bed. The images flash back and forth, one into the other. Lily falls to her knees on the ground clutching at her chest. Emma comes back down and starts to tell Lily that Luke has faded back off to sleep. She can't find her. Emma looks toward the front door in a panic. It's standing wide open.
MOLLY hangs up the phone. "Was it her?" HOLDEN asks excitedly. Molly wants to know who, he means. He asks her if it was Lily. "No, just some wrong number or a prank." She says. Holden decides that he was just being hopeful and goes up to bed. Molly decides to turn in also. JACK starts to grill CARLY once again on her and Molly's scam. Carly teases Jack about being an "Uptight G-man." She tells him that she knows what it is. It's that he's so hung up on Molly, that when she doesn't care to notice him, Jack takes it out on the first available person. This time it just happens to be her. Carly flirts while she gives him a hard time. Carly leaves to go upstairs when he won't respond. Later...Holden is outside and Molly comes out too. She tells him that it's hot upstairs, must be Indian Summer or something, and she decided to join him when she saw him down there from her upstairs window. He says that he just couldn't sleep wondering if that could have been Lily on the phone. Molly lies and tells him that it was a man, and he only said "Hello", must have been some pervert or something. Molly looks up at the stars and starts to make a wish. "You still do that?" Holden asks. She tells him yes. He laughs. She tells him that doing that and looking at the moon and stars makes her feel closer to Abigail. He wants to know if wishing on the stars really works. She tells him that she thinks so. Jack is strolling by the door and sees Molly put her arm around Holden. He's just about to go bust things up, when Carly in a sexy nightgown, rubbing an ice cube on her leg, stops him. "Do you always dress like that?" Jack smirks. She tells him, "Only when it's hot." She goes over and tries to open the window. It's stuck. Jack helps her get it open. She kicks back in a chair in front of the open window and rubs the ice cube across her partially bare chest. Jack is a bit distracted. Carly tells him that she knows what's up with him. That he has a thing for Molly. He tells her that he used to along time ago, when he was 12. "Maybe I just haven't found the right one yet." He says. Carly starts to describe his "right girl." "Dark hair...like Molly. Blue eyes....like Molly. Maybe even her name will start with an..."M."..like Molly." She teases. "Back Off!" He snaps at her. She tells Jack that the only reason he likes Molly is because she's safe. He wants to know what in the world she means by that. She's in love with someone else, you don't have to worry about getting involved with anyone. You can just want her from a distance, where it's safer. "You probably wouldn't even know what to do with a real woman, if given the chance." She challenges. "You'd be surprised." He tells her. "Yeah, right." Carly says. Jack pulls her tight into him and gives her a long hard kiss. Outside Molly challenges Holden to a grass blade whistling contest. Holden can't get it to work, even when she takes his hands and shows him how to hold it. Molly, while showing off, accidentally cuts her lip on the blade of grass. Holden asks if she'd like him to take a look at it. She doesn't complain as he gazes down into her face at her quivering lip.
DAVID is in his den at Fairwinds listening to a recorded bit of Lily and Sam discussing him. EMILY walks in with a picnic basket and he turns it off, a bit startled. "Gretchen let me in. Did I hear Lily?" Emily asks. He tells her that Lily hasn't been over in some time. He tries to change the topic by asking about what's in the picnic basket. She pulls out lots of wonderful things, wine, bread, cheese, spreads, salad and brownies. Emily wont drop it and tells him that for sure, she heard a woman's voice when she entered the room. "Oh, that must have been my secretary's voice you heard. I was going over some dictation." He says trying to cover up. The phone rings. He tells her he's expecting a business call and doesn't want to bore her with it, so he takes it in the other room. After he leaves, she goes over to his desk. David walks back in after he finishes his phone call. Emily demands to know what's up with this. She opens the briefcase on his desk and hits "Play." Sam and Lily's voices come flowing out of the speakers. She turns it off and demands to know why he lied to her. She trusted him, he supposedly trusted her. He tells her that he does, but this was a problem he was having and he didn't want to involve her in it. Emily looks closer at the things in the briefcase and realizes that it more than just a recorder, it's part of a complete listening device. "You have a bug hidden in Lily's house?" She cries. She goes on to tell him that he's a lawyer, he knows that things like this are illegal. He tells her that it's not what it seems. He's not out to hurt anyone, he's just doing this to protect himself. Emily demands to know what this is all about and why would he lie to her like that. "Because you mean the world to me and I'm afraid if you know... you'll leave me." David tells her. " Emily tells him that he can tell her anything and she won't judge him. He can't. She tells him that if he can't be honest with her than she has to leave. She can't live that way. "I can't tell you." He moans. Emily grabs her things crying and heads for the door. David stops her and tells her, "Emily, don't go. I'll tell you." He continues, "What I'm going to tell you is going to come as a shock. If you breath a word of it... it will destroy me."