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 Two Scoops: November 24, 2008 columns
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Ellen Dolan
Thanksgiving blessings in Oakdale
For the Week of November 24, 2008
Let's take a minute to count our blessings, like the fact that Casey isn't our son. From prison to a gambling addiction to sleeping with his dad's former lover, this kid is all kinds of trouble. It's great drama, but you have to feel sorry for Margo and Tom.
It's turkey time, Scoopers!

For those of us here in the good ol' USA, it's a time to be thankful for all that is good and bountiful. I'm guessing not many of you have a harvest for which to give thanks (hey, we all can't be Emma Snyder,) so instead, let's take a minute to count our "As the World Turns" blessings. (Yes, cynics, there are plenty of them.)

Here's what I'm thankful for this year:

1. That my grandma didn't give me a new opera-loving grandpa, whose idea of a honeymoon is kissing me. When Brain hit on a drunk Luke, mere minutes after belting out a celebratory "Figaro" after his wedding, it was way creepier than James Stenbeck ever was. All together now, EWWWW!

2. Juicy Janet came to town. She showed women everywhere that it's OK to eat. And in a throw down, I think for once, one of Jack's women could actually take Carly.

3. That I've never been hauled into a police station run like the Oakdale PD, where it's OK to work cases of family members and railroad suspects with no real evidence.

4. Paul Ryan's super natural visions. They led him to Meg, which subsequently freed the longtime missing Dusty Donovan, brought him back to town, and ended up saving Meg's life. On second thought, maybe I'm not thankful.

5. Brad and Katie on my screen. Whether it's comic relief or a passionate love story, these two keep me glued to the TV. I'm thankful that Katie finally found someone to love.

6. That Casey Hughes isn't my son. From prison to a gambling addiction to stuffing ballot boxes and sleeping with his dad's former lover and his brother's mom, and then hitting on her sister, this kid is all kinds of trouble. It makes for great drama on screen, but boy do I feel for Margo and Tom.

7. That Katie hasn't had to pay alimony to all her ex husbands. If so, she'd be working at Henry's diner in the evenings as an extra job. Wait, that could get her in a scene or two with Henry, so on second thought, maybe Simon and Jack and Mike and Henry should hit her up.

8. Lucinda Walsh finally got a storyline. She lost her breasts to cancer, but gave us some fantastic scenes from her hospital bed.

9. That I don't live in Oakdale. Seriously, have you ever seen such beautiful people in one town? If I had to compete with Carly, Vienna, Katie, Lily, Janet and all the other hot women in town for male attention, I think I'd hide in my mom's basement and become a hermit.

10. That Carly Tenney and Emily Stewart aren't my friends. One hits on your husband, the other could easily go cougar on your son. These ladies are shameless when it comes to fulfilling their lusty needs. It makes for good TV, but not good friendships.

11. That I never have to be treated at Oakdale Memorial, where people are pronounced dead when they aren't and where you can be misdiagnosed with a brain tumor.

12. That despite little to do, my beloved Henry is still in town and stealing every scene.

13. Jack combed his hair. Can I get an Amen?

14. Two Scoops' readers who send me their well-thought-out opinions each week and keep me laughing, even when we disagree. Best Lines of the Week:
(Lucinda asks the much younger Brian if he is having second thoughts about their wedding, as he holds her hand in the hospital.)
Brian: "I'm just looking at this beautiful hand that you've given me in marriage. It's like you."
Lucinda: "Curiously well preserved?"

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Go easy on the pumpkin pie! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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