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 Two Scoops: May 26, 2008 columns
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Michael Park
Drama at the school dance
For the Week of May 26, 2008
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Lily and Carly certainly aren't in the running for Mother of the Year awards, but Jack and Holden have certainly made their share of mistakes, too. Apparently, they never learned that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Holden and Jack Sndyer, take cover. You're in the doghouse, if my e-mail box is any indication. I've received so much mail the past couple weeks from folks fed up with Jack and Holden, or as one reader called him "Holden holier than thou" Snyder.

The readers I've heard from are ticked that lately all the Snyder boys seem to do is lecture and judge Lily and Carly. You've had enough, Scoopers, and I don't blame you. All this bitterness has sucked the fun out of Holden and Jack. The only time Holden has seemed to smile lately is when he's with Carly, and we all know that is a slippery slope. Of course his "bond" with Carly didn't last long, when he realized that she was responsible for suggesting Lily move out. I'm sure Carly will be called to the principal's office to get a tongue lashing from Mr. Perfect next week for daring to say that Lily needs to change her situation. Take cover, Carly. Holden is on the warpath.

I know Lily and Carly certainly aren't in the running for Mother of the Year awards, considering they've both left their kids for long periods of time, but Jack and Holden have certainly made their share of mistakes, too. Apparently, they never learned that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.


Meanwhile:
--We had a Bonnie sighting! Woo Hoo! She was onscreen this week. It's been so long since we saw her, I was starting to think that she hadn't recovered from her drunken hangover from two months ago.

--Note to the Snyder kids: Never, ever, take your dysfunctional parents to a school dance again. After your parents' outlandish behavior, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that, but wow, what an embarrassment. Those poor kids are definitely going to need therapy after that episode. Shame on the Snyder adults for airing their dirty laundry in public and humiliating their kids.

--It sounds like Henry wants out of the diner. Can I get an Amen? As much as I love my Henry, he needs more to do than sling hash at the local grease pit. He's been relegated to the role of "Nat" on Beverly Hills 90210, and I'm not having it, Scoopers. If Henry and Vienna still want to own the diner, fine, but please, please, please just let them hire a manger and some staff, so they can start having a life again, preferably one that doesn't involve an apron.

--I'm worried about Ali. I don't think she's over her porn-star, drug addicted past. She seems completely freaked out when Chris tries to form a relationship with her. I'm actually enjoying Chris and Ali together, so I hope she gets over her issues soon.

--Many of you are calling Emily a "cougar," the new slang term for a middle-aged woman who hits on young men. I agree that Casey is young for Em, but frankly, they seem to have about the same level of maturity. The age thing doesn't bother me so much, as does Emily's twisted history with Casey's family. She slept with his father and shares a son with Casey's dad. Then, she also slept with Casey's uncle, Chris. It's all just a little…ewwwww, don't you think? The only Hughes man she hasn't bagged is Bob. As much as I'm enjoying the Em/Casey roller coaster, I know it's just a matter of time before this all blows up. When Margo finds out, Emily had better get a one-way ticket out of town.

--Special kudos this week to actor Billy Magnussen who has made me love Casey for the first time in years. His Casey is sexy, sardonic, a little dangerous, and just enough of a slacker to keep in tune with the character. Magnussen has amazing chemistry with Kelley Menighan-Hensley and makes me smile every time he's onscreen. Plus, any actor who has to suck someone's toes onscreen deserves some kind of accolades.

--I sometimes forget that Emily has a son. We haven't seen Daniel since he went off to boarding school, and she rarely mentions him. Now, Tom wants to send him to sailing camp for the summer, at Daniel's request of course. Well, with parents like that, I can see why the kid never wants to come home. I have a feeling when he finally does make his way back to Oakdale, he'll be rapid-aged enough to be hanging out with Liberty, J.J. and the teens.

--Three cheers and a slap for Lily this week. First, I'm thrilled that she finally decided to move back home with the girls and give Holden his much-needed space. But I want to smack her for acting like a crazy person at her daughter's school dance. Get a grip, girl. Your daughter already has MAJOR issues. Why you would humiliate her among her peers? It was just cruel. There was no excuse for not walking outside to yell at Holden or capping her temper until she got home. At least Carly and Jack had enough class to take their argument outside. Sometimes, I think the Snyder kids act more like adults than their parents.

--Henry apparently injured his lip or face and is sporting a bandage. I'd like to volunteer to nurse him back to health.

--Janet is a little crazy. I couldn't believe she actually slapped Liberty this week. I'm not sure if she's trying to turn a corner and suddenly become a "good mom" or if she's afraid that Liberty is going to turn out like her and the realization freaked her out more than she realized.

--Katie and Brad, you're honeymoon is over. Moving Liberty in is going to change everything. The fact that her mother keeps popping up at your door every five minutes is just the beginning. And Brad, you need to get a clue. You don't let your ex feed you pasta and dessert while wearing only pants. I'm surprised Katie didn't dump that lasagna on Brad or Janet's head when she walked in on that scene. I guess she gets that Brad is just clueless when it comes to Janet's manipulations.

--The school dance was a bit strange in that they had it at Al's Diner. But, aside from that, it was sadly realistic, in that Faith obviously has a crush on Parker and Parker has it bad for Liberty. Ah, teen angst. When is Faith going to wake up and see that J.J. is a cutie, too?

--Note to Vienna, when hiring staff, it's a good idea to ask for a resume or at least check a reference. Hiring someone on the spot after talking to them for less than five minutes is NOT a good idea.

--Help me out here, nursing students. Shouldn't Ali be taking classes at Oakdale University to become a nurse and not the hospital? I wouldn't think she'd go there until her clinicals. Color me confused.

-- It's Memorial Day weekend, so please take time to remember all those who've passed and especially our soldiers. Have a safe and enjoyable holiday.


Best Lines of the Week:
(Emily sees Casey and Alison at a bar and rips into Casey for allegedly using Alison to get to her.)
Casey: "Are you off your meds or something?"


(Lily vents her frustration to Carly at the kids' school dance.)
Carly: "Want some punch?"
Lily: "No, but I'd like to punch somebody!"


(Brad questions Liberty when she starts to leave his house.)
Brad: "Where do you think you're going?"
Liberty: "Oh, I'm going to go buy some drugs and steal a car."


Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Mary.)
"Much ado about nothing! Did I miss something? So, Lily wanted to have a night with Holden without having the huddled masses at the farm, (so) her pal Carly helps her out by taking the kids for the evening. Holden and Jack are behaving like this is Watergate II! Good grief Snyder boys, take a chill pill or you'll BOTH be replaced by someone yummy - like Mike Kasnoff!"

(From Two Scoops reader Becca.)
"I don't know who's writing Holden's storyline lately, but they need to find better reasons for him to be mad at Lily. Just because she wants to keep some of her (Dusty's) things from the past is no reason to be upset. And making time to be alone is not a crime. They have been married too long for him to be upset over the stupidest things."

(From Two Scoops reader Lori.)
"Hi. I have to correct something that Chris said in Monday's (5/5) episode. While he and Alison were in bed, Chris was kissing Alison's leg. He said, "This is the ankle bone, which is connected to the leg bone, which is connected to the knee bone..." That is not true. The knee bone (patella) is the only bone in the body that is NOT connected to another bone. It is held in place by the patellar tendon."



That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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