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 Two Scoops: December 24, 2007 columns
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Terri Colombino
Sam the puppet man
For the Week of December 24, 2007
Katie needs to learn some patience. She and Brad just hit the sheets last week, and already she expected to be pregnant? On the up side, watching Brad spend the day in only his boxer-briefs is not a bad way to spend an afternoon.
Thank you ATWT for taking time to do a special holiday episode. I'll consider it my early Christmas gift. I always enjoy these holiday shows that shake up character roles. The dollhouse experiment did not disappoint. Where else would we ever get to see Margo as a maid, Tom as a footman, and Lucinda as a sassy Irish cook? Priceless.

From Bob's voice announcing the "magical holiday episode" to the costumes and accents, I felt like I'd stepped inside of a Currier and Ives Christmas card. Lily looked amazing. She has a face made for period dramas. There were plenty of fun moments. The fact that Carly was a scandalous divorcee that practically sent Katie grabbing for the smelling salts left me chuckling. And how about Vienna as a spinster? Her high-neck wardrobe was the first time I think we've ever seen Vienna without cleavage. And how about Henry as a widower and a cop and Brad as a minister? I think that's what we call irony. Good times.

Sadly though, the Mr. and Mrs. Ryan drama didn't play any better during that period than it does now. A sickly Rosanna watching as her husband got cozy with Meg was just as disappointing as it is in present day. But overall, I loved the magical doll episode.


In other musings:
--Sam, Sam the Puppet Man, oh how I enjoy you. But telling kids in the Oakdale town square about Metro opening, left me scratching my head. Metro is a bar. Hello? Those were kids! Maybe Sam has been hanging out with that dummy, Cowboy Jack, too much; His brain had turned to wood.

--Katie needs to learn some patience. She and Brad just hit the sheets just last week, and already she expected to be pregnant? On the up side, Brad Snyder spending all his screen time in only his boxer-briefs is not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

--New Bonnie is not working for me. Sorry. She and Holden aren't clicking for me, no matter how much I want poor Holden to get a storyline. And Dallas was right about her Christmas gift to Holden. Buying a man courtside tickets to a pro-basketball game is like a guy giving a girl a ring. Why is Bonnie so desperate for Holden's gratitude? Is she that desperate for clients?

--On the flip side, I love the new Dallas. He seems much more fun than the last two incarnations of the character. It could be that this Dallas has had more lines than all of the previous actors together, so I feel like I'm getting to know him a little better. He has potential. The guy needs to get a love interest, soon. And some friends. Paging Will Munson. There's a guy in need of some male bonding if ever I saw one.

--By now you've probably heard that Dusty (Grayson McCouch) is leaving in January. He's a good actor, and I'll miss him. He had sizzling chemistry with Emily and Meg. This leaves an opening for a new leading man. So, let me climb upon my soapbox and once again put this suggestion out there: Henry Coleman. He is more than comedy relief and deserves to be doing more than wearing an apron.

--Poor Vienna. She was so excited this week when Brad gave her his credit card to go shopping. "I remember money," she purred nostalgically. I remember Vienna when she had money, too. She was much more interesting. Here's hoping she trades in the pepparkaker for a platinum card soon. . If ever the time was right for Simon to return to town and rescue Vienna from this domestic goddess role, it's now. Perhaps that could be the wake-up-call Henry needs to get it together.

--So Carly is actually trying to help Jack get back together with Katie. Huh? This makes even less sense than Carly becoming a club owner. I guess her design career is just done? The good news is that finally the good folks of Oakdale will have someplace to hang out together.

--I rarely read spoilers, but someone sent me one on Friday that had me jumping for joy. Someone at ATWT must read this column, or at least is smart enough to know the talent that is Wally Kurth. Stop reading this paragraph now if you want to remain spoiler free. Sam is going to save the day at Metro by singing. Can I get a Woo Hoo? Those of you who've never heard Kurth's beautiful voice, you are in for a real treat. His band Kurth & Taylor are excellent. Now, what are the chances he's going to be wearing leather pants? (If you didn't watch him on General Hospital, you're probably not going to get that last joke!)

--Henry, Henry, Henry. Sometimes I think you've lost all common sense. Buying Vienna a puppy and bringing it to the diner is a big no-no. Did you learn nothing from the Snickers debacle? I'm pretty sure a puppy in the kitchen is a guaranteed excuse for the health inspector to shut down the place. Plus, all the gifting guides say that you should never give someone a pet. Being a pet owner is a giant responsibility and each owner should make that individual choice. If Henry really wanted to practice parenting skills by starting with a puppy, perhaps he should have tried the age-old egg experiment instead. The egg experiment has been used in public school parenting classes for years.

--Noah and Luke are going strong, but it's a little hard to swallow that Holden and Lily are so comfortable with the coupling. Yes, I know they've accepted that Luke is gay, but realistically, I think it would be a little strange and awkward for them to see their son kissing his boyfriend. Strange enough that it should at least warrant a conversation. Not to mention, wouldn't the kids be curious, too? I'm assuming it's the first time they've been around a gay couple. Surely, they've got questions. Let's see those scenes.

--I'd like to comment on the Sofie/Aaron/Gwen/Will storyline, but I can't sit through more than 30 seconds of it without fast forwarding. Sorry. Stop all the baby mama drama! Get Gwen back singing at Metro and give Will some guy pals to hang with.

--Kit, watch your back. Carly has a thing for tall, sexy, dark-haired men, and your boyfriend Sam seems to fit the bill. A lonely Carly is a recipe for disaster. Just ask Katie or Jack. I wouldn't leave her alone with Sam too much. That gal's history would make Cowboy Jack blush.

--I loved Brad's name for him and Katie as a couple. "Brady Rules" he said, in the spirit of Tomcat, Brangelina and Bennifer. I'm sure your fan base agrees, Brady!

--I'm not sure which was funnier: Katie crying at Rudolph or Jack Snyder in reindeer ears. Tis the season.

--Did I miss something? Why is Katie living in a hotel? What happened to her cottage? Help, Scoopers!

--I missed Bob reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas," but it was nice to see Will take over the job, since Bob was ill. Thank you, ATWT, for continuing this sweet Christmas tradition.


Best Lines of the Week:
(After their fertility experiment goes wrong, Kate tells Brad he should go after the supermodel who had been throwing herself at him.)
Brad: "Maybe I should. Maybe she's free for lunch."
Katie: "She eats?"
Brad: "Whatever. Like I care. Five minutes with her and I'll forget about what a nut job you are. Thank God I didn't get you pregnant. I'd probably have to go into witness protection or something."

(Margo visits Katie again and finds her with yet another rumpled bed.)
Margo: "How come every time I come over here it looks like a crime scene?"

(Vienna dispenses advice to Brad in her broken accent over a plate of fresh-baked cookies.)
Vienna: "I know from experience that the desire to have a child is the strongest, deepest wish a woman can have, even when she's slaving over a tray of hot, hot pepparkaker."
Brad: "Did anyone ever tell you that you make food sound pornographic?"

(Vienna is outraged that Henry got her a puppy for Christmas.)
Vienna: "My Christmas present is a pooper scooper?"


Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Phyllis)
"I have to disagree with you about Emma. Frankly, I wish she'd stick a sock in her mouth for a change instead of constantly spouting her "sage" advice. I'm beginning to believe she's the cause of Holden's and Meg's revolting behavior, and she seems to have had that same affect on Jack even though he's only her nephew. I'm not sure where she gets off lecturing and threatening Craig when Meg has committed so many sins I'm surprised she hasn't been struck by lightning. If she's going to persist in telling people how to live their lives she ought to start with her own family, or better yet, just shut up."

That's all for now Scoopers. Merry Christmas everyone! Thank you so much for loyally reading my column. See you next year!
Jennifer Biller


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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