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INs AND OUTs
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 Two Scoops: October 15, 2007 columns
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Van Hansis
Luke's attack
For the Week of October 15, 2007
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Luke has the worst luck of any teenager in Oakdale. It wasn't long ago that he was knocking at death's door due to kidney failure, and now he's paralyzed, at the hands of a homophobic psycho.
Luke Snyder has the worst luck of any teenager in Oakdale. It wasn't long ago that he was knocking at death's door due to kidney failure, and now he's paralyzed, at the hands of a homophobic psycho.

Noah's self hate and blame for the incident was a realistic twist, as was his avoidance of Luke. Noah is still a kid, and it's understandable that running from the situation seemed easier than facing Luke. What I don't get is Noah's come on to Maddie. He came out. He knows he's gay, so why plant one on Madeline? There is confusion and then there's just plain cruelty. Hasn't Noah yanked Maddie's chain enough? I know she's his "comfortable" place, but she deserved better.

Luke's attack and subsequent paralysis will be a test for Luke and Noah and, perhaps, for Lily and Holden, too. Relationships are difficult under normal circumstances. Under the stressful circumstances facing Luke, it's going to be even more difficult. I don't think Lily and Holden are going to survive it. Luke and Noah, however, are just starting out and the experience could bond them. Just look at what happened to Jack and Carly.


In other musings:
--The line to smack Holden starts here. No pushing. Single file, please. He's been so snotty to Lily, blaming her for the attack on Luke and reminding her of her other mistakes that he's working my last nerve. Yes, Lily has had some problems in the past, but Col. Mayer is the psycho who hurt Luke, not Lily. I understand her not telling Holden about her suspicions about Mayer, because Holden is constantly criticizing her. I don't think I'm alone here when I say that this marriage requires a fork to stick in it, because it's done.

--Note to Sofie: Please stop rubbing your abdomen in every scene to remind us that you're pregnant. We get it; you're with child.

--Apparently that bump on the back of the head made Meg forget that she is married to Craig. Maybe that could explain why she hooked up with Paul so soon after bedding her husband. Maybe not. Plenty of you have e-mailed me to say you expect this to become a "who's the daddy" storyline. And just as many of you have e-mailed me explaining that Meg supposedly can't have children. To all of you, I'll just take a moment to remind you that this is Oakdale, where brain tumors are cured (Barbara and Carly), infertile women get pregnant (Gwen,) and people come back from the dead (Paul, Paul and Paul.)

--If you haven't heard the news, Wally Kurth is headed to ATWT. Can I get a "Woo Hoo?" For those of you who don't know Kurth, he's one of my favorite all-time actors on daytime. He formerly played Justin Kiriakis on Days of Our Lives and was woefully underused as Ned Ashton on General Hospital, where he charmed audiences with his dimples and his incredible singing voice. I've been lobbying for years to get him back as a regular on GH, but the Quartermaines have taken a backseat to the mob in Port Charles. Let's hope that he brings his guitar and his leather pants with him to Oakdale.

--In other casting shakeups, Maddie is out. I'm absolutely shocked that one of the best young actors and characters on the show is being shown the door; the teen set is sparse these days. Rumor has it that Maddie will leave town to go to college. This can't be good news for Henry. Half of his scenes are reactions to what's going on in Maddie's life.

--Meanwhile, the character of Dallas is being recast for the third time, just as a new Bonnie comes back to Oakdale. Coincidence? I think not.

--Sparks flew this week when Craig and Rosanna squared off. Scott Bryce and Cady McClain have enough chemistry to cause another blackout in town. Forget Paul and Meg. The real story here is Craig and Ro.

--How does one find a doctor that makes house calls? That Carly is one lucky gal. On second thought, maybe not. What kind of doctor misdiagnoses a terminal brain tumor? That's a pretty big mistake, doc. I could believe one doctor making a mistake, but the fact that Carly got four other opinions makes this plot point pretty lame. This just reaffirms my observation from years ago: if you're sick, never, ever go to Oakdale Memorial. That place will kill you, or at least make you think you are dying.

--The word of the week is diorama. I couldn't help but chuckle as Carly, Jack and J.J. muttered the word over and over again, as they worked on J.J.'s school project. By the way, whatever happened to the baking-soda volcano school project? None of the Oakdale kids ever do that one.

--Carly, Carly, Carly, I would have thought by now you would have met karma. Lying about your illness to your family is beyond cruel. I don't want to see how karma pays you back for this one. J.J., Jack and the rest of the gang deserve better. Shame on you.

--Thank you ATWT writers for explaining Margo's hostility toward Dusty. I thought she was completely rude and unwilling to hear his explanation for the Cheri murder case. Dusty thought so, too. Dusty called her out this week on her attitude, and she explained that she was looking for other suspects, despite how it looked. But the fact is that in the past, Dusty shot her brother. Attitude explained. Thank you very much.

--Katie's marriage is in trouble already. She's been married barely two weeks and her husband is already kissing his ex. I thought Katie's marriage to Henry was some kind of record-setter in terms of length, but this one may make the Coleman union look lengthy.

--Kudos to Daniel Manche's portrayal of J.J. this week. The scene where he broke down in Brad's arms was a Kleenex moment.

--Oakdale is in major need of a marriage counselor. No one's marriage is safe. Lily and Holden are on the rocks, so are Jack and Katie and Meg and Craig. Margo and Tom, you've been warned.

--I'm a little stunned that Dusty is putting up with Holden's sanctimonious attitude toward him, especially considering Holden punched him. Dusty usually has a short fuse.

--What's up with all the guest stars lately on ATWT lately? First Phil Simms stopped by and then author Emily Giffin. Katie and Brad's show must be more popular than I ever imagined.

--Brad needs to get a love interest, that isn't Katie. He has oodles of chemistry with Carly, but that would be kind of weird, considering she's been married to his brother for years. He needs to find a new girl. I'd like to volunteer to fill the slot.

--Paul is waking around spouting, "Craig must be killed." Enough! Is anyone else wishing Paul would have just stayed "dead?" This character is unrecognizable. His hatred of Craig has completely ruined Paul.

--I've been enjoying the outside exterior shots lately. But why is it when ATWT wants to "kill" someone they head to the outdoors? Paul fell over a cliff, now Luke, and who could forget Camp Horror from last summer?

--Is it just me or is the camera a little shaky lately. I'm not sure if this is a new shooting style or a new camera operator, but it's giving me a headache.

Best Lines of the Week:
(Rosanna and Craig discuss Paul's obsession with Meg.)
Craig: "You really do have to find that man of yours a hobby."
Rosanna: "Yes, well, he had one, and you married her."

(Lily complains that Holden is constantly criticizing her.)
Lucinda: "He's a Snyder, dear, they're always holier than thou."

(One of Brad and Katie's show guests discusses the theory that everyone has had at least one great love in their life.)
Katie: "I think in Brad's case, he's had more than one. What are you, in the triple digits now?"


Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Kelly)
"I watched the day where Carly told Rosanna she was dying. Not only did Rosanna not shed a tear, but then she started back plotting with (Paul), as if Carly never told her such devastating news. The writers handled that horribly. There was no tenderness between sisters. It sucked!"

(From Two Scoops reader Cheryl.)
"I'm just catching up on old "scoops," and I only have one thing to say: Katie and Jack together is like watching paint dry. Zzzzzzz. Contrived and boring. I just wish someone would knock that fake smile off of Katie's face. Bleck. And, of course, she'll probably end up with Brad (who I have adored from minute one), yet another man she doesn't deserve."

That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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