I've had enough Scoopers. This is war. I hate to waste column space again complaining about network interruptions, but I've been pushed to the limit. I'm urging you to write, e-mail or call the networks to protest the constant daytime interruptions for so-called "breaking news." Heck, you can even send smoke signals if you'd like. The networks seem to be rather fond of them.
This latest rant stems from a week of no less than four interruptions, in my part of the country. First, it was the Pope report. Now, no disrespect to our Catholic readers, but I tend to get annoyed when for 45 minutes news "experts" aimlessly chatter about the color of smoke. There are appropriate times to interrupt programming. I'm sorry, but watching smoke signals isn't one of them. Still, CBS felt the need to have experts weigh in on the inaction and tell us that after two hours of speculation, nothing had happened. Next up, was an interruption for weather reports, a car chase and again for weather reports.
These interruptions are out of control and a detriment to daytime. Most of the time, a crawl across the bottom of the screen is more than sufficient to give viewers information. A network executive was recently fired for interrupting a popular primetime program to air so-called "breaking news." Wouldn't it be nice if daytime got the same respect? It's hard enough to keep viewers, but when they miss important storylines, it's almost impossible. And unlike primetime, missed scenes are never shown in rerun, so viewers have no chance to ever see them. I'm begging, stop the madness.
--I so need to get the number of Katie's travel agent. How she managed to get a last-minute plane ticket, score an aisle seat next to her brother, and make them hold the plane until she arrived is beyond impressive.
--Could there be anything more humiliating than your grandmother picking up your unused condom in front of your girlfriend and your parents? (That's not rhetorical.) The answer is, an absolute, NO. But the end result was one of the great moments that makes "ATWT" a fantastic family drama. The heart-to-heart sex talk between parents Tom and Margo and son Casey was well done. It even poked fun at the awkward situation. Even vets Kim and Bob got to weigh in on their grandson's moves, or lack thereof. On a completely shallow note, it's difficult to enjoy Casey's acting when I can't see his face for the hair. Get to a barber. Pronto.
--Could Keith be Julia's killer? I know it sounds crazy, and I'm not nearly as qualified as the Oakdale Police to be asking such a question. (Insert sarcastic laugh here.) But hear me out. For weeks, I've assumed evil Les was the one who murdered Julia. He had a violent history, motive and opportunity. But this week, I started to wonder if Les is the culprit after all. Consider the evidence: Les told Lucinda he didn't kill Julia. And he seemed genuinely surprised about the cell phone. Granted, he did tell J.J. if he didn't be quiet, he'd do the same thing to him as he did to his mother. But, he could have meant a severe beating. Also, Keith had motive. He was slated to inherit a nice sum, if he was J.J.'s guardian. And he seemed to know where to find the bloody cell phone. I guess it all could be a red herring, by the writers, to try to keep us guessing. If so, well done. I hope Keith turns out to be the good guy I think he is and stays in town. He has chemistry with Lily and could have spark with several of Oakdale's ladies. And we already know he works well with Jack. I really enjoyed the scene where they went all Crockett and Tubbs on Les.
--While I respect a girl who loves shoes as much as I do, Jennifer telling Mike her only regret was leaving her Manolos in Oakdale, left me scratching my head. I would have thought her wild sheet shuffle with Craig, resulting in her pregnancy, would have been at the top of her regret list.
--Will the body snatchers please return Sierra? This woman, who once ran a country, certainly wouldn't be making business decisions based on a former con-man's recommendations.
--Why do they insist on writing Hal like a complete idiot? No way would a savvy cop tell wife-beater Les that Jack was out of town for a few days. Hal may as well have given Les an engraved invitation to beat up Carly and grab J.J. I hate it when soaps make cops the dumbest people in town. It's insulting.
--Speaking of dumb moves, why did Carly scream for J.J. to call Jack, when Les was attacking her? Jack was supposedly hours away, by plane. Do they not have 911 in Oakdale? Or was she just afraid the bumbling Oakdale cops would botch the situation.
--I am loving angry Henry. Who knew he had it in him? He called Katie on her bratty behavior and decided he would no longer be her "lap dog." For this relationship to truly work, we're going to have to see some conflict. Henry has worshipped Katie for too long, with little in return. Maybe it's time to introduce one of his former lovers and stir the pot a little. Perhaps, that is just the jolt Katie needs to realize she has a great guy.
--Kudos to actress Maura West. She really looked rattled after the showdown with Les. I had no trouble believing that she actually got pummeled by that wife beater.
--I realize that Carly has had a lot on her plate lately, but shouldn't she have at least asked where her sister has been for months? (Forgive me if she did and I'm just unaware of it. I've missed a lot of the show lately due to "news" interruptions.)
--I'm sad to hear that "ATWT" head writer Hogan Sheffer won't be returning. It's no secret I'm a Sheffer fan. It was his fantastic storytelling that got me interested in the show again. I just hope the current regime will continue to tell the amazing stories that Sheffer did so well, but at the same time bring in longtime players that have been backburner for so long. (Paging Nancy Hughes!)
--I realize that fashion is JenniferĎs forte, and not math, but she really needs to learn to count. She claimed that she was 10 weeks pregnant to throw Craig off the trail. Apparently, she's only five weeks. No matter, it was only a few days between her encounter with Craig and her night with Mike. So, days, not weeks, could help pinpoint paternity.
--Who is the new guy working at Metro, and where is Curtis?
--Apparently, viewers either love or hate Craig. And believe me, both camps have strong supporters. I fall in the "love Craig, but sometimes hate his actions category." His involvement in the Alan/Lucy fiasco was deplorable. But, I can't believe that he should be cut out of his baby's future entirely. Besides, I'm not convinced the baby is even his.
--Why on soaps is every minister in Vegas named Lovejoy?
--If I wasn't convinced before, I am now. Mike Kasnoff is a saint. I guess he truly loves Jennifer. He would have to, to put up with her constant emotional breakdowns, her overbearing mother and brother, and Craig's constant meddling.
--Thanks to all of you who took time to write and tell me how much you enjoy my Two Scoops and the format. I had hordes of feedback the last couple weeks. I had no idea my Best Lines of the Week feature was such a reader favorite. I put that section in my first column a few years ago to add some humor and showcase a zinger from Craig. Due to popular demand, I won't change a thing!
Best Lines of the Week:
(Craig interrupts Henry, as he is counting his meager tips from his new chauffer job.)
Henry: "I could make more money mowing lawns."
Craig: "The grass is always greener, Henry."
(Paul explains to Barbara why Craig will have parental rights to Jennifer's baby.)
Paul: "The law is on Craig's side."
Barbara: "There should be laws against Craig."
(Henry contemplates the shocking news of Jennifer's pregnancy.)
Margo: "Jennifer is carrying Craig's child."
Henry: "If I saw pigs flying outside the window right now, I would not be the least bit surprised."
I had so many great e-mails the past two weeks, I had a hard time narrowing it down to just two or three. Since so many of you took time to write, I'm sharing more than the normal amount this week. Thanks again.
(From Two Scoops reader Gerri):
"I so disagree with you about Craig (not) being a monster. It's true he didn't kill Jen, but he shot one man and caused two other deaths. If his daughter keeps quiet, he may get away with it."
(From Two Scoops reader Amanda):
" What you said about Craig was right on the money. Yes he should not have stolen Jen's designs, but she should not be acting like such a big, spoiled baby about the whole situation. If Jen would have been professional about the whole thing Craig would not have stolen her designs. He was not the only one that slept in that bed. I love Craig and always will."
(From Two Scoops Reader Connie):
"Two Scoops is my favorite part of ATWT Online, and "Best Lines" is my favorite part of Two Scoops. Probably the main reason I like the column so much is that I usually agree with you, but also because occasionally you mention something I had not noticed. For example, you mentioned the Street Jeans poster of Mike with eyes to the side--I never noticed that! But I will now, if they show it again. Bottom line: you're very entertaining."
(From Two Scoops reader Karen):
"I love having Kin Shriner on the show, even if it means putting him with Lily and splitting up her and Holden. I haven't been this excited about seeing Lily with someone else since Damian."
(From Two Scoops reader Holly in northern California):
"I absolutely love what you do with this column. I look forward to reading it every week. Please don't get rid of the best lines of the week, that is my favorite part! Plus, I love your insight, I knew that Keith was making some kind of funny reference, but I didn't know what it was, but you explained it beautifully and I was able to look back and appreciate the joke in hindsight. Keep up the good work!"
(From Two Scoops reader Leslie):
"I agree with your reader who wrote about the who's the daddy fall back that has been used to death. Mike does not deserve to be put through this again. He wants a baby so badly, is he really willing to be "daddy" to Craig's baby? Poor thing. Craig will never give them any peace once he find out. And Henry with a job. The Devil must be freezing."
(From Two Scoops reader Lin) :
"I look forward to the "Two Scoops" column even more than the "Scoops" part of SoapCentral. I think the format is fine. I especially like the best lines. I don't always catch them, but your column sure does. Keep up the good work."
That's all for now. See ya next time Scooopers!